Baby Hunt

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Baby Hunt

Post by celette482 on Thu Nov 12, 2015 8:41 am

Mr. Celette and I are starting the baby hunt. We're gonna try to catch one on our own first. That's how it works, right? Should we use snares? Lures? What does a child call sound like?

The Internet rabbit hole of fertility and baby-making is one of darkness, misinformation, and rumor. I didn't think I would find anything so terrifying as MRA sites, and yet I've never seen so many websites written BY and FOR women that are so freakin' reductionist. Did you know I've already caused my futurebaby to have cancer and flippers and also not get into Harvard by doing... well everything I've ever done?????? How dare I, as a uterus haver, not put the potential needs of my potential offspring ahead of everything else? Also, why are children today so self-absorbed and spoiled? These attitudes cannot possibly have anything to do with each other.

In all seriousness, I'm picking up some follate and I've been hormone-free for several months now. I know several women on this site are recent moms and this is one of the only places where I feel like people are rational about this sort of thing, so any advice is welcome!
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by Caffeinated on Thu Nov 12, 2015 12:03 pm

Yay, baby discussion! And oh boy are you right about there being scary places on the internet for this stuff. So many websites to avoid if you have any tendencies toward anxiety or hypochondria.

And yes, I do have bits of advice that I would love to share! In no particular order...

1. If you haven't got your flu shot yet, get your flu shot. It helps herd immunity (why everyone should get one) but there are also pregnancy-specific reasons to get it. One is that the chance of the flu being serious enough for hospitalization is greater if you're pregnant, and another is that I can say from experience that any kind of sickness sucks more when you're pregnant. Last year I was pregnant while my firstborn went to preschool for the first time. First time preschoolers bring home every germ in the universe, and I got every cold and sniffle that came through town. It was awful. So missing out on any kind of illness while pregnant is something I heartily recommend.

2. There's no way of knowing how long it'll take between deciding to hunt for a baby and when a lure actually catches. Sometimes you might expect it'll be several months of trying but it happens right away. Sometimes you think it'll happen right away but it doesn't. It's fucking mysterious. Or mysterious fucking. I think my advice here is not to cling too tightly to expectations, and definitely not to go down a scary internet rabbit hole trying to figure out why it's taking a while if it takes a while.

3. You know that thing about not telling anyone you're expecting until after the first trimester is over because that's when miscarriage is most likely? That's not really as good an idea as people think. I'm not saying tell everyone right away. But I think the better idea is the people you would turn to for emotional support if anything went wrong, tell them early on. That way you're not bursting with unshared good news at the start, and if anything did go wrong you don't have a long explanation to give if you need to turn to them for support.

4. Write down a list of questions for your first doctor or midwife appointment. It's easy to forget what you wanted to ask. Also, it makes a good impression.
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by Wondering on Thu Nov 12, 2015 2:46 pm

In addition to getting a flu shot, I'd recommend getting a chicken pox vaccine, too, if you haven't already. Risk to the baby if you have chicken pox is also pretty high, and you can get chicken pox again even if you had it as a kid. They'll also have you get a whooping cough shot in the third trimester, even if you've already had one, to try to give some tiny bit of help to the baby.

I was taking 4mg folic acid, low dose aspirin, and high iron prenatal vitamins starting 6 months before trying to conceive and throughout the pregnancy. I think those first two are diabetic-related only, but the prenatals are a good idea for everyone.

Caffeinated is right about it being mysterious what works and what doesn't. It took us 13 months, and I was using ovulation tests. What my OB told me was not have sex every day I was at peak fertility but every other day. Every day was too often to replenish good, vigorous sperm, IIRC. If you're having trouble conceiving and your period is not 100% predictable, I'd recommend ovulation tests for you, too. They're pee-on-a-stick tests like pregnancy tests, and you get them in the same aisle.

If you don't get pregnant as soon as you'd like and you start looking at fertility clinics, let me know if you'd like to hear my opinions on that industry. We were sent to one after 6 months. There was a push by my healthcare team to get me pregnant already because my diabetes was in such fantastic control. The clinic did some tests on us, but we ended up getting pregnant on our own.

Best of luck with the hunt!

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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by eselle28 on Thu Nov 12, 2015 4:45 pm

I don't hunt babies myself, so this one is just based on my sister's safari. One thing that monsieur celette can do now is update his own vaccinations. When it comes to the other people in your life, you might want to bring it up after the lure catches but before you bring the little prize home. People want something to do at that stage and that's an easy time to let them know that getting their tdap shot will help. Later, they're more likely to give you onesies and toys.

Best of luck with your hunting!
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by celette482 on Thu Nov 12, 2015 10:14 pm

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

I had chicken pox as a child, but I'll look into the vaccine again. i got the flu shot because I'm a public defender and am constantly exposed to people day in and day out. Fortunately all of my family are very pro-vaccine (medical professionals and recent parents themselves, on both sides) so it won't be a hard sell to get them to get their boosters.

I'm due for my yearly check up anyway, so it will either be a "verification" appointment or a "let's make sure I'm all vaccinated up" appointment.

AFAIK, all my female relatives got pregnant at the drop of the hat, some even while on birth control. but, one of my dad's sisters had a clotting disorder that led to a bunch (14 or so) of miscarriages. I've already discussed her history with my OBGYN as a sort of "Heads up"- luckily it's a quick fix (that's what the low-dose aspirin is for, from what I understand)

Good to hear the advice about telling someone. I told my best friend with whom sex talk is common. You're right, I need someone to babble at and someone to talk to if things don't go well. My dad would be very supportive (has three sisters) but my mom is a doctor and would be more clinical and less "yay baby". I'll obviously tell her when there's a tug on the line, but right now she doesn't need to know.
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by celette482 on Mon Dec 21, 2015 8:57 am

I've decided that the worst part about the baby hunt is the time between setting the trap and checking to see if you caught anything. Every little twinge makes my mind go a million miles an hour. Doesn't help that a stomach bug is definitely going around work. That always makes me paranoid too.
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by celette482 on Sat Feb 20, 2016 10:09 am

Preliminary traps indicate a success!
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by Wondering on Sat Feb 20, 2016 12:31 pm

Yay!

I've been wanting to ask, but I know how awful it is to ask people trying to catch a baby if they've caught one yet. So glad to hear your trap indicates success!

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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by Enail on Sat Feb 20, 2016 12:44 pm

Woo! Expert baby-hunter! Congrats!
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by litterature on Sat Feb 20, 2016 3:52 pm

Yay!! Grin
I'm so glad for you!!! :>

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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by Werel on Sat Feb 20, 2016 3:52 pm

Congrats!! Hunting trophies are in order! Smile
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by Caffeinated on Sat Feb 20, 2016 7:05 pm

Yay! Best of luck to you as you carefully tend the snare!
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by eselle28 on Sat Feb 20, 2016 7:08 pm

Oh, contratulations!
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Re: Baby Hunt

Post by reboot on Sat Feb 20, 2016 9:16 pm

Congratulations on your first hunt!
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