Moving Out [adv, dis, ramble]

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Moving Out [adv, dis, ramble]

Post by readertorider on Sat Dec 12, 2015 5:22 pm

So in the last month my employment became permanent--I have financial and locational stability--and I'm thinking about moving away from home. My mom wants me to live with her forever, my dad would like a more formalized arrangement--rent, cook X meals a week, saving goals he understands (advanced degree, home ownership), etc. I have no intention of moving out while my (elderly) dog is still living (she's beautiful and wonderful and needs a lot of care), but I'm not sure what my 5 year plan is and... I don't know.

Benefits to staying home:
  • Financial (I should figure out a better way to quantify this--I have savings and based on a reasonable budget could support myself independently, but staying home at X rent would allow me opportunities like international travel!)
  • Family companionship (including seeing siblings on breaks)
  • Good/healthy food
  • Creature comforts (internet, dishwasher, clean living area, well appointed kitchen, kayak, etc.)
  • Learning more about home care
  • Assistance I provide to parents (chores, house sitting, tech support, desserts Wink )
  • Relatively easy arrangement to change


Benefits to moving out:
  • Independence (own lifestyle/food/responsibility)
  • Chance to meet/interact with other people my own age in the area (+ roommates!)
  • Could move closer to work (current 40min commute + 9-10+ hr day = Neutral )
  • Free time could be my own!
  • OLD (maybe? could try it out!)
  • Not feeling like I have an asterisk on my adulthood following me around (On the one hand I know I contribute, people don't seem to care (being a girl helps here), and I lived in a shared apartment fine in college. On the other hand most of my friends are living independently or with significant others and I don't want to calcify any bad habits/laziness regarding my living situation).
  • Not having to have a boundary/money/timeframe conversation with my folks. (I don't want to pay rent to someone who feels like they have the ultimate say in the arrangement of my underwear drawer).


In 1-2 years I'm thinking about applying to PhD programs. If I do pursue that path it would make sense to stay home, build a bit of a nest egg + study and leave home for university. But I'm not sure that I would be competitive in a good program, if I truly want to spend my mid->late 20s bound to a research program (that could ultimately end in failure) or if the benefits (interesting work, opportunity to interact with clever/driven people, more knowledge/ideas/discussion, fancy title) from a degree are worth the cost (chance that I'll be overqualified when I come out, more classwork, sleep schedule I'm no longer adapted to, precarious position, long stretches of not making quantifiable progress, stress) for me. I heard that a guy at work who I very much respect thinks it would be a waste if I didn't pursue an advanced degree and I do feel a drive to do something more, but at the same time I have a BS from a rather good school and I do think I could be happy doing the level of work I do now with more of a personal life and hobbies.

I think the truth is this: I want to find an apartment with a few roommates and continue living my life, but staying at home with few consequences is a wonderful opportunity not many people have and I want to make sure I'm giving it due consideration. (Also I and my 3wks(!) vacation would really like to travel). Would anyone like to offer their perspective or advice for living with family or finding apartments (craigslist?)? Any comments, questions, concerns, or insidious remarks?
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Re: Moving Out [adv, dis, ramble]

Post by sky on Sat Dec 12, 2015 7:58 pm

One thing I'm noticing is that a lot of the things on your list of benefits of living at home are things you could still have if you move to an apartment 30-40 minutes away from your parents' house.

That's close enough to go home for a weekly dinner night, visit siblings when they are home, borrow the kayak, and occasionally house-sit, provide tech support or help out with chores.

Also, healthy food and a clean living area are things you can have in an apartment. It just might be you that has to do the cooking and cleaning, but since your commute to work would likely be shorter, you'd have a bit more time available.

Depending on what amount of rent they would charge you and where you live, you may be able to find a place with a couple roommates that is similar in price.

If living at home doesn't bother you and is significantly cheaper, taking advantage of the opportunity to put large amounts of your income into savings/investments might be your best choice for at least a while.
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