Is this kind of what going on a date feels like?

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Is this kind of what going on a date feels like?

Post by Jayce on Thu Dec 31, 2015 6:53 pm

So this was the first time I went to a meetup. It was a large one at a park where we could watch New Years Eve fireworks. I went alone and had no idea my night would turn out like this at all. At the beginning I was talking to a couple of guys since I knew no one there at all. I was really feeling good, then I went and approached a another group of people in the meetup, after a bit of conversation girl there wanted to get drinks so we went. We strolled, well we were passing a big crowd, she held my hand a bit and said teasingly "where should I hold you so you feel a bit uncomfortable hahaha". Turns out she was in her early thirties, a single mum, and going to whatever city her career took her. I'm a 20 year old student stuck at one place. I guess we both knew early on that we weren't going to work, both of us were looking for something long term. But we enjoyed each other's company so we kept hanging around.


We spent the night watching fireworks, taking selfies, going to different bars, strolling through casinos, eating kebab, drinking, dancing around, walking around the city, sharing stories, all from around 9 at night until 6 am next morning. We told each other things about our lives, we were vulnerable, she talked about her divorce, and her hardships with raising her kids, I talked about how I wished I had a solid group of friends. She loved theatre, is a makeup artist, and I'm a dance performer for fun, we both bonded over being expressively dramatic, clothes, being overly dressed for every occasion, being open minded. We watched the sunrise together. It felt (I can't describe it) special feeling vulnerable together. We were like a couple everywhere we went, everyone thought we were together, and we were, for tonight.

Even though we never kissed we did hold hands for long periods of the night, we spent the entire night together, just the two of us, she told me she thought I was really sweet to her, told me I made her feel young again and that she had fun. We'll both remember this New Years as the one we hung out with a complete stranger from night until sunrise. I liked as far as we went, if we kissed or did anymore I would feel attached to her, and want to be her boyfriend, but things could never work for us, she dosen't even live in the same state.

At the end our parting felt like a movie. She said "you ever thought about getting married one day? You'll find a wife". I said "maybe, one step at a time, i'll see. I asked, caringly "what about you? What are you gonna look for? She said "oh some guy probably with a couple of kids of his own, you know? I said "yeah at a similar point in life as you, thats what I'm looking for too. She said " yeah".

We hugged and parted ways. Her, off back to her kids, and me back to my home. Sigh, I think she thought it too, if maybe she was younger or I was older, things might have worked out for us.  I feel a bit sad but I'm happy with the time we spent together.


I liked what we did, it was the first time I ever held hands with a girl or have someone say really nice things about me, while feeling mutually similar about how great she was. We walked so close together, we whispered in each other's ear. It felt romantic, and intimate.

I guess this is the closest thing to a date and romance I've ever experienced and I'm happy with what we had. Two years ago I'd be too afraid to even approach her, and a year ago I had too much baggage to socialise well with anyone. I'm glad I put effort in trying to improve my social skillls. None of this would have happened if I didnt go and take a chance to try and meet her. So that was my New Years.


Last edited by Jayce on Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:25 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Is this kind of what going on a date feels like?

Post by Enail on Thu Dec 31, 2015 7:39 pm

That sounds really awesome, Jayce, very much like a film (Before Sunset?), a fleeting, special moment with someone. Glad you had such a good New Years'!
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Re: Is this kind of what going on a date feels like?

Post by Andrew Corvero on Fri Jan 01, 2016 12:25 pm

Enail wrote:That sounds really awesome, Jayce, very much like a film (Before Sunset?), a fleeting, special moment with someone. Glad you had such a good New Years'!

I agree, it sounds like a very romantic date, something straight out of a movie (I was thinking about Before Sunrise too, it's one of the best romantic movies I've ever seen).

I'm glad that you had such a great New Years'. Treasure this memory and a hearty well done for successfully fighting your insecurities! Here's to more progress and more awesome things in your life.

Oh, and Happy New Year!

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Re: Is this kind of what going on a date feels like?

Post by Jayce on Fri Jan 08, 2016 1:18 pm

She texted me our photos we took together with "thanks for being with me". I've never had someone pay this much attention to me before, it felt really good.

I also thought about how I came across to her, she complimented me on: my jacket, being sweet to her, being fun to hang out with, being an open person, being nice, I'm good company, I made her night. This is how I intended to come across as, to potential dates. Which is what I prefer, I like to think and be curious which helps me feel more open, I have high enough energy to feel fun, I always dress up for every social occasion, I like to talk and actively listen. I do what I can to come off as smooth, curious, cool, stereotypically romantic, relatable, fun and empathetic.

Flirty things that I don't do is- I don't convey humour most of the time, I don't do much antagonistic flirting like teasing, and making witty comments. I never made her laugh much or had a lot of volleying, cheeky banter going on. I can tell a lot of short stories, but I don't tell longer ones. I guess those are some of my weaknesses.

This is kind of what I can bring to the table at the moment, in dating interactions. I'm really surprised and super happy that someone generally enjoyed what I had to offer.

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