Random Thoughts: The Randoming

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by WJMorris3 on Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:25 pm

The Wisp wrote:On the internet, every man supposedly has an above sized penis and a higher than average IQ (and the majority a genius IQ).

We'll call it the Lake Wobegon effect. All the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the kids are above average.

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by The Wisp on Sun Jun 14, 2015 10:12 pm

On one hand, you all obviously think a lot like I do, have similar temperaments, worldviews on practical issues, interests, etc. You would be My People, except...

On the other hand, you are apart of a community that subscribes to many wrong-headed or at least not obviously correct philosophical and scientific views, that has a lot of cult-like tendencies, and with the central personality of the community ("leader" might be too strong) being pretty insufferable and creepy.

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Robjection on Mon Jun 15, 2015 8:12 am

Wait, who are you referring to there Wisp?

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by The Wisp on Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:08 pm

Not this community at all if that's what you're asking (there's nothing creepy about DNL and you all seem pretty philosophically grounded, especially compared to the people I'm talking about Razz ETA: also, nothing about this community is remotely cult-like). No, I'm referring to the so-called rationalist community.

Sorry, vague post was vague Uh-oh

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Robjection on Mon Jun 15, 2015 3:40 pm

Oh right. Thanks for clearing that up Smile

In the meantime, what started out as just double-checking the meanings of some words has led me to the discovery of & being the former 27th character of the English alphabet.

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by litterature on Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:07 pm

I'm curious about crossdressing.

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Caffeinated on Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:43 pm

When I told a friend that one of the reasons I'm growing my hair out is that it makes it easier to perform femininity, she looked at me like I'd grown a second head. Is the concept of performing one's gender not as mainstream an idea as I thought?
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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Gentleman Johnny on Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:55 pm

The normal people phrase is "its more feminine".

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Caffeinated on Mon Jun 15, 2015 6:18 pm

Gentleman Johnny wrote:The normal people phrase is "its more feminine".

Hmm, yes. But it always genuinely feels like a performance to me. Almost like I'm in drag any time I dress up in a specifically feminine-coded way. I guess I just assumed other women felt that way too, because all the hair and makeup and binding undergarments and painful shoes and impractical clothing can't feel normal to other people, can they? I think I especially expected so with this friend because she's somewhat involved in burlesque and pin-up photo stuff, which strikes me as being particularly aware of femininity-as-performance.
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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Gentleman Johnny on Mon Jun 15, 2015 6:32 pm

I wouldn't feel qualified to answer to that except that you brought up burlesque and pin-up. Now, a lot of my cast probably wouldn't have blinked at "perform feminism". I've used the phrase "I'm not here to gender police anyone" before when costume questions came up without following up with the word "but". I know a lot of people into those things who do it because they're tough, go get-em, career types and it makes them "feel feminine". So no, that sort of femininity doesn't feel natural to them but that's exactly why they aspire to it. Overall, I've found the community to be a mix of people who use the vintage look as their brand, people who don't feel glamorous and sexy otherwise and people who just really want to express themselves.

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by eselle28 on Mon Jun 15, 2015 6:39 pm

Caffeinated wrote:
Hmm, yes. But it always genuinely feels like a performance to me. Almost like I'm in drag any time I dress up in a specifically feminine-coded way. I guess I just assumed other women felt that way too, because all the hair and makeup and binding undergarments and painful shoes and impractical clothing can't feel normal to other people, can they? I think I especially expected so with this friend because she's somewhat involved in burlesque and pin-up photo stuff, which strikes me as being particularly aware of femininity-as-performance.

I think most women I know have a sense of feeling unnatural when they depart too far from a baseline, but that the baseline for any given person isn't necessarily "no performance of femininity." I have a range that's normal for me, and getting really dressed up to go to a formal event is out side of it, but so is wearing my boyfriend's shirt without a bra. I'm not sure that comfort is necessarily all that tied to the concept, or at least I don't think it is for everyone. Jeans are on the less comfortable end of the spectrum of things you can wear to cover the bottom half of your body, but society has kind of decided that they're normal for almost everyone.

As for the whole performance idea, it's not something that's talked about so much in those terms outside of people discussing feminism. I think your friend might get the concept behind it, though, even if she's not familiar with the term.
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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Enail on Mon Jun 15, 2015 6:50 pm

I think part of what we consider comfortable is what kind of performance is expected with a given item of clothing. I find that when I wear a dress or heels, people expect a much more strongly feminine way of moving and behaving from me and react to me more negatively if I keep to the same level as I usually would. In theory, I've got nothing against dresses, but I really don't like the higher degree of performance compared to clothes that are coded 'comfortable'.
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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by nearly_takuan on Thu Jun 18, 2015 11:30 pm

It seems weird to give up so soon, but this might be a wrong therapist. Doesn't seem like she does much other than hear what I say and then hesitantly repeat back not-what-I-said, and I think I already get enough of that elsewhere. Shrug




You know we're good friends 'cause it's like there's always spooky unintentional mind-reading stuff going on between us. Like I'll be sitting there thinking about how life is short and disappointing, and then she'll make a dick joke.
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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Guest on Fri Jun 19, 2015 7:59 am

Platitudes such as "Being physically weak doesn’t diminish your masculinity, nor does being strong enhance it." feel like they come from a position of relative comfort and privilege. It's easier to believe in that ideology when you've already had the cultural memes and experiences to bolster the traditionally masculine elements inherent in your larger sense of self.

It doesn't seem to have a lot of weight behind it, even if it makes sense in theory...

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Guest on Sat Jun 20, 2015 6:37 am

NSFW I think I get the appeal behind Jeff Goldblum.

Spoiler:

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Guest on Sat Jun 20, 2015 2:14 pm

If I was gonna be a vampire, I'd be from Kiefer Sutherland's gang in The Lost Boys.

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by BasedBuzzed on Mon Jun 22, 2015 3:11 pm

Uwe Boll, please come back, I love your incoherent ranting.

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by eselle28 on Tue Jun 23, 2015 12:38 am

1. It's kind of cool I can watch politically oriented television with immediate and some extended family at all, because a lot of us are in the same ballpark, if not exactly in total agreement.

2. I'd expected that I would be the person in the room who most liked the politician we saw. I'm more liberal than my relatives, after all, and they tend to be turned off by regional accents other than their own. Weirdly, nope. "Down to earth." "Well, that's just common sense." "That's a good idea." "No puffery there." A very positive reaction all around.

3. My one comment to the effect that maybe they might vote for that person when the time came was met with universal derision. I mean, I get my extended family members who don't caucus at all. It's an exclusionary pain in the ass process. But I know some of my family members participate in every election out of principle. If you're going to bother with the pain in the ass process, and you also happen to be a member of the minority political party in what's probably the least politically relevant state in the country, why on earth not vote your conscience? Whatever your conscience is. It's one of the very few things that make up for your vote not counting.
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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Guest on Tue Jun 23, 2015 8:57 am

What's the difference between internal validation and self-delusion?

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by BasedBuzzed on Tue Jun 23, 2015 10:42 am

Pain of others gives much perspective, and also makes you ponder you would try to handle it yourself well in advance.

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Robjection on Tue Jun 23, 2015 12:26 pm

I love this tweet by Rich Burlew that he made shortly after putting up the latest Order of The Stick.

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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Hirundo Bos on Tue Jun 23, 2015 12:42 pm

Robjection wrote:Oh right. Thanks for clearing that up Smile

In the meantime, what started out as just double-checking the meanings of some words has led me to the discovery of & being the former 27th character of the English alphabet.

Replying to this a bit late, but I felt an urge to brag about having a bigger alphabet than you. 29 letters to be precise.

(On the other hand we hardly ever use Q, W, or Z, and rarely use C and X, and the reason we do use X is because of the word sex, so maybe I shouldn't talk so loudly after all.)
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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by Caffeinated on Tue Jun 23, 2015 1:17 pm

I will not argue about pointless things over Facebook. I will not argue about pointless things over Facebook. I will not argue about pointless things over Facebook. I will not argue about pointless things over Facebook. I will not argue about pointless things over Facebook. I will not argue about pointless things over Facebook. I will not argue about pointless things over Facebook. I will not argue about pointless things over Facebook. I will not argue about pointless things over Facebook.
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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by The Wisp on Tue Jun 23, 2015 5:29 pm

OkCupid has "I'm getting too many messages from people who don't interest me" as a reason for disabling/deleting your account, but not "Nobody is responding to my messages".
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Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

Post by nearly_takuan on Tue Jun 23, 2015 11:31 pm

So... after reading certain Paging comments, I'm kind of considering starting up a "here are some descriptions of women who would not fit into the categories named as Conventionally Attractive but who I/we regardless consider attractive in a romantic and/or sexual sense" type of thread.

However, when those sorts of things spring up for men they tend to make me kind of uncomfortable. I'm not sure how I could express some of those sorts of thoughts without incidentally saying something that will come across as hurtful to those not like what I describe. So for those and other reasons y'all already know I'm probably the wrong person to start such a thread.


Last edited by nearly_takuan on Wed Jun 24, 2015 12:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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