My roommate problem

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My roommate problem

Post by DazedAndConfused on Tue Mar 22, 2016 12:16 am

So for financial reasons I have to share my apartment with a roommate. We're not very close, indeed we're not close at all. And I definitely I have a problem with him.

The problem is in the last three weeks he's getting terrible with the shared chores. We should have cleaned up the common rooms together; he has found excuses to avoid doing his part (he's busy with work, he's tired from a party, he spent the afternoon with his parents, etc.). He's starting to leave his dirty dishes in the sink for me to wash (and again, when I tell him about him, he brings up the "being busy" excuse). He has stolen my toilet paper once (I know, it might be a minor thing, but it's pretty annoying). I think that he has eaten my food a couple of times (I'm pretty sure I had bought six eggs, but I can only find four. Also I'm out of milk, even though I bought a bottle yesterday).

I've talked to him about it and he's coming up with tons of excuses to shut me up: he's busy, he's tired, and he's "out there having a life instead of obsessing about toilet paper" (thanks for the "subtle" diss, dickhead).

We both signed a contract for a year. He's paying the rent on time, and that's all our landlord cares about (he made it very clear that as long as we both pay he doesn't give a shit about what happens between us). I don't want to leave the house, and neither does he. Like it or not I'm stuck with him for at least other nine months. How do I get him to cut the crap and start doing his fair share of chores, and to buy his own toilet paper and food?

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Re: My roommate problem

Post by Werel on Tue Mar 22, 2016 12:27 am

If I were you, I'd:

1) Stop doing any of his dishes/laundry/chores. If it is absolutely necessary to do something specific (clean up a mess that will reek later etc.) to keep the bare-minimum standard of living you're comfortable with, do that, but nothing else of his.

2) Keep your food in your own room where possible (feel like you gotta lock it up? Go ahead, keep your room locked, this guy doesn't need to be in there anyway), label refrigerated items loudly, keep track of any of it that goes missing, and let him know how much he owes you every month or so (if you want to really play ill-advised chicken, take it out of your share of the rent and let him sweat the difference).

and 3), the most important thing of all: TELL HIM YOU'RE GOING TO DO THESE THINGS. "Hey listen, I can't afford to buy food for two people. Please stop eating the food I buy, it's for me. If you eat it, I'm gonna need you to replace it. I'm also too busy to do two people's chores, so I'm not going to handle the dishes and laundry you leave around. Please take care of your shit like an adult. Thanks."

And then actually 4) is pretty important too: follow through.

But that's just what I'd do. Depends on you and your feelings on enforcing some hardline boundaries/risking whatever uneasy social truce y'all have (though it sounds like you don't have much of one at all, with the jibes and weak excuses).
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Re: My roommate problem

Post by Wondering on Tue Mar 22, 2016 12:42 am

2) Keep your food in your own room where possible (feel like you gotta lock it up? Go ahead, keep your room locked, this guy doesn't need to be in there anyway), label refrigerated items loudly, keep track of any of it that goes missing, and let him know how much he owes you every month or so (if you want to really play ill-advised chicken, take it out of your share of the rent and let him sweat the difference).

Agreed. In fact, you can put a list on the fridge with a magnet that lists what's your food and how much of it you have. If the amount changes, you'll know he did it. Write it in pen so he can't erase it. Then he can see you're keeping track.

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Re: My roommate problem

Post by reboot on Tue Mar 22, 2016 1:39 am

I had a housemates like that and we used stack his dirty dishes in his room. If you can afford it, get a mini fridge for your room and keep your food in there. A friend used to have a locked metal box in the freezer for frozen foods. Not sure if you need to go that far, but you can get a good sized one for $50-100
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Re: My roommate problem

Post by BasedBuzzed on Tue Mar 22, 2016 7:11 am

Parents are over? Ask him to do chore X he has put off later that day, see how they respond. Not nice, but easy enough to spin away as innocent if they do not support your side.

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