How to politely tell someone you want nothing to do with them anymore

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How to politely tell someone you want nothing to do with them anymore

Post by Izmuth on Mon Aug 15, 2016 6:44 pm

So, I've been ignoring some "friends" because I got fed up about their behaviour.

But they keep sending me messages how I'm doing and invitations to parties and such.

One part of me wants to explain to them exactly how big of a dick they were and why I'm ignoring them, another part is afraid it can't explain it well and wants to simply block everything they can use to contact me with.

Do I need to provide an explanation? Or am I in the right to simply block them? We have almost no mutual friends left, so I wouldn't get a lot of flak either way.
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Re: How to politely tell someone you want nothing to do with them anymore

Post by Enail on Mon Aug 15, 2016 7:21 pm

I don't think you need to provide an explanation, but it's also okay to provide one if you'd like to - but if you do that, I'd recommend against trying to make it your big vent/get in the last word ending. That rarely seems to work out as well as expected, and lands up leaving lingering bad feelings on both ends.
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Re: How to politely tell someone you want nothing to do with them anymore

Post by Hirundo Bos on Tue Aug 16, 2016 1:00 pm

Agree with Enail that you don't need to provide any explanation. And if you give them a specific explanation, like "because of X, Y, Z, I don't want any more contact," I think some people could take that as grounds for negotiation? Especially if they are kind of jerks to begin with. On the other hand, I think there are ways to be vague about the reason, while still remaining firm about the decision, though I can't think of any good examples. But you know, the kind of phrases people use in any kind of breakup.
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Re: How to politely tell someone you want nothing to do with them anymore

Post by Izmuth on Fri Sep 02, 2016 9:03 pm

Thanks guys!

I ended up simply ignoring them. It's friggin' hard though. She keeps messaging me with "how's it going"'s. (very very low frequency though).
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Re: How to politely tell someone you want nothing to do with them anymore

Post by Izmuth on Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:23 pm

Update on this post:

They both kept messaging me, so in the end I did respond to both.
- One friend acknowledged what annoyed me, explained what context what I was missing, and apologized for the parts where she was 100% wrong. I apologized for never truly talking about the issues that annoyed me, thanked her for providing context, and apologized for the parts where I was 100% wrong. So success!

(Every time I told her and her boyfriend about an achievement of mine, she would brag about how her boyfriend did the same but *better*. This went on for years. I felt it was a stab due to me rejecting her back in highschool and that she wanted to put me down because of how much better BF was, but she explained that BF was depressed and she wanted him to feel better by talking about his achievements in a clumsy way. Since she didn't do it for *her*, but for another person it actually made me feel a whole lot better if that makes sense)

- One "friend" didn't think the things that bothered me should bother me, resorted to name calling, and couldn't even muster a basic "sorry you feel that way" apology. She stopped messaging me, so success as well!
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Re: How to politely tell someone you want nothing to do with them anymore

Post by Enail on Mon Nov 20, 2017 7:06 pm

Yay to working things out with first friend! It's too bad about the second one, but at least you spoke up and got rid of her! Way to go!
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