My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

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My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Sahrimnir on Thu Jan 12, 2017 4:33 pm

The first one was during that two year period between the old forum disappearing and me finding out that this new one existed. That one ended with me getting a new friend who is considering joining my D&D campaign and she is also planning to start a campaign of Drakar och Demoner (Dragons and Demons), a Swedish role-playing system which might have been somewhat inspired by D&D but is mechanically very different.
But that's not what this thread is about.

Anyway, I matched with this other person, whom the thread actually is about, on Tinder back in December. We talked a little about some stuff. I checked out the Youtube channel that they mention in their Tinder description. I asked them how they know my brother, whom Tinder shows as a mutual Facebook friend (they said they've met him for a total of seven minutes through a friend of theirs). Then I suggested going to a pub quiz together. They said that sounded fun, but they didn't think they would have time that week. At the start of the next week I asked if that week worked better. I never got a response.

A few days ago I sent a message saying that we never did go to that pub quiz, asking them if they wanted to do it now. I know a place that runs pub quizzes every Wednesday. They said yes at first. On Tuesday, they said something had come up on Wednesday, so they wouldn't be able to make it and asked if I wanted to do something on Thursday instead. I didn't have anything planned for this evening so I said yes. The whole thing wasn't very planned at all. We met up at the Möllevång square, went someplace to eat and then we took a walk through the city and then we said goodbye and they took a bus to the train station. When I checked the time on my phone after they left, I saw that we had spent about two hours together.

We talked about their Youtube channel (which is mostly about Swedish voice actors and old nostalgic children's shows), nostalgia in general, voice actors (both Swedish and American), geekiness, superheroes, video-games, famous people we'd like to meet, music, politics (I'm politically active in the Left Party, they're undecided but leaning towards the left), Disney movies (my favourite is Hunchback of Notre Dame, their favourite voice actor is the Swedish voice of Quasimodo), gender, cats and dogs and other stuff. Before they got on the bus, I said that this had been fun and we should meet again some time. They agreed, then hugged me, said bye and got on the bus.

While I was sitting on my bus home, I sent them a Facebook friend request which was immediately accepted.

So, now I'm wondering, what should be the next step?
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Enail on Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:18 pm

From the first few paragraphs, I was expecting to have to give a "let it go, they're not interested" response - but then you managed to meet up and it sounds like things went really well! Would you like to see them again? If so, ask them out again!
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Werel on Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:02 pm

Yeah, agreed-- if you're interested in a second date, you should ask them! Sounds like you had a pleasant time, so if another pleasant time appeals to you, go for it. Most folks respond better to a specific invitation than just "let's hang out sometime," so if you wanted to pick an event/restaurant/activity and offer a couple concrete times you're available, it might make the scheduling easier. Good luck and keep us posted!
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by reboot on Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:25 pm

I would pitch the pub quiz idea since they wanted to go but it did not work out this week
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Sahrimnir on Mon Jan 16, 2017 7:26 pm

Enail wrote:From the first few paragraphs, I was expecting to have to give a "let it go, they're not interested" response - but then you managed to meet up and it sounds like things went really well! Would you like to see them again? If so, ask them out again!
Well, I've had plenty of matches on Tinder that didn't go anywhere. I wouldn't pay it much thought if that was all it was. Also, that message, that I sent about a month after the previous one, and that led to us finally meeting up, was mostly just me thinking "Why not? I'll give it one more shot and if I still don't get a response I'll let it go."

Anyway, update: On Friday, I sent a message on Facebook asking if they wanted to go to a pub quiz next week (which is now this week). No response.
Yesterday, they posted on Facebook a song from an old Swedish kids' show. I had completely forgotten it existed until they posted it, but now it has been stuck in my head all day today. I mentioned that to them after I got home from work and I got a "You're welcome" as a response. Then I decided to ask specifically if they wanted to go to the pub quiz on Wednesday that we talked about going to last time. They replied that they've got neither the time nor the energy for it this week. Since I'm going to be pretty busy all of next week, I suggested we'd talk again in two weeks and see if we can get something happening then. They haven't said anything to that yet.

Right now I'm thinking, I'll send another message in two weeks and then we'll see if it leads to anything. If it does, great! If not, I'll let it go.

Also, for anyone who is curious, here is the song that's been stuck in my head for the whole day. "Nöjd" means approximately "satisfied" or "content".
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Werel on Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:43 pm

Ah, bummer-- sorry they didn't show more interest in a second meeting. It's possible that they're just really busy right now, so your two-week plan sounds good (and, like you said, if they don't pick up that thread, it's best to leave it). Props for having such a nice laid-back attitude towards it, though!
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Sahrimnir on Sat Feb 25, 2017 9:23 am

Update:

It's taken a while to organize a second meeting. One thing that has been increasing the difficulty is that they live out-of-town. They're studying in Malmö, where I live, so they usually are in Malmö a lot anyway. However, during the last few weeks, they've had their VFU (basically an internship at a school as part of the teacher education) in a third town, meaning that during the weekdays they haven't had time to visit Malmö. Meanwhile during the weekends, either one of us has been busy or both.

However, last night their band played at the student union in Malmö and they invited me to come listen. Before and after their band performed, we had quite a lot of time to just hang out and talk as well as listen to the other two bands that performed that night. Once again, I had a great time.

We did discuss the possibility of meeting up again today, but they warned me that they might be too tired to do anything today. Anyway, we were to talk again today and see how they felt. So today we sent a couple of text messages back and forth and they said that they're too tired to meet up today (followed by a Sad ). I replied "Okay, we'll see each other some other time instead" (except in Swedish).

I'm hoping it won't be another month and a half before we get to meet again.
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Enail on Sat Feb 25, 2017 1:11 pm

Glad you got to meet again and had a good time. Good luck scheduling something soon!
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Sahrimnir on Thu Mar 23, 2017 7:04 pm

Yesterday, I got a new match on Tinder. After some comic book talk, we decided to meet up after I finish work today. So we did. I had a great time. Before I knew it, three hours had gone by.

Also, at one point, the conversation died down for a moment, and I noticed she did some weird movement.
Me: What was that weird motion you just did? Do you feel uncomfortable?
Her: Well, I don't like awkward silences. Also, you're cute and funny and like geeky stuff and aren't weirded out about the pagan-thing, so I feel like I have to impress you.
Me: Oh, wow.
Her: My friends usually tell me that I shouldn't be so upfront. I should keep the guys guessing. But I don't see the point. Why wait 15 minutes before you reply to a text message when you can spend those 15 minutes having a good conversation?
Me: You mentioned earlier that you follow Neil Gaiman on Tumblr. Have you seen his guide to how to seduce a writer? (referring to this)
Her: Yes, that was so good.
Me: I feel like it really applies to me. I tend to be completely unable to tell if someone is interested in me, so I really appreciate that you're so upfront.
Her: Well, I am very interested. So, how do you feel about me?
Me: It's mutual.

So yeah, I'm optimistic.
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Enail on Thu Mar 23, 2017 7:39 pm

Awesome!
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Hirundo Bos on Thu Mar 23, 2017 7:39 pm

That sounds like a very uplifting exchange Smile
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by eselle28 on Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:56 pm

Oh, that sounds like a great date! Congrats!
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Sahrimnir on Mon Apr 17, 2017 5:32 pm

Update: I am no longer single. Grin
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Enail on Mon Apr 17, 2017 5:44 pm

Congrats! Is the person you're non-single with that last Tinder match you posted about?
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Sahrimnir on Mon Apr 17, 2017 6:04 pm

Indeed it is. Smile
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Werel on Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:13 pm

Oh, hooray! Congrats!! Grin
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

Post by Hirundo Bos on Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:52 pm

The best kind of update!
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Re: My second attempt at meeting someone from Tinder [Advice]

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