If life were more like video games...

[eselle28]

You would know exactly who was worth talking to, because interesting people's names would be displayed above their heads while boring people would bear labels like Pedestrian or Sales Clerk or Doctor.

It would be entirely morally and socially correct to wander around people's homes picking the locks on their drawers. Whether it would be acceptable to take the items inside would depend on the locale and how well you knew the person in question, but it would always be okay to take your hair pin to the lock.

No one would ever ask you why you're bringing your pet lion into the store. You're obviously a druid, and that's just a thing that druids do.

Dating would be vastly simplified via a system of looking up your crush's favorite things and then buying as many of those items as possible for them.

[Robjection]

Dating would be vastly simplified via a system of looking up your crush's favorite things and then buying as many of those items as possible for them.

I think I've actually played that game.

On another note, if you find your commute to work has more (physical) obstacles than usual, listen out for some ambient music and try moving to the rhythm to get past them all unscathed.

[Enail]

Getting serious in a relationship or making a good friend would give you extra abilities.

Small talk would consist of the other person repeating the same two or three phrases over and over.

The only way to get info to finish your project or get the birthday present you knew your friend really wanted would be to talk to random strangers until you found one who needed you to find their cat or solve their pest problems first.

All rumours would be true. And no need to read the news, anything important that happens, everyone you talk to will tell you about it.

You could get a surprising amount of high-quality clothing and accessories by playing card games or going to the racetrack rather than shopping in stores.

[bomaye]

Once you hit the requisite exp level to earn a skill, you will never lose it and it will never get rusty

Conversations will be longer, as you consider which of the three or four choices on the conversation wheel you want to choose as a reply

You can keep your pets, no matter how big, in small containers, and fight them for fun, and not only is not animal cruelty, but it helps them learn and mature

Your backpack can fit 99 of anything in it, but maybe not 99 different things.

[eselle28]

If you are not an adventurer but rather live in a suburban neighborhood, you will spend inordinate amounts of your day using the bathroom and throwing away your newspaper. The most common causes of death for your friends and family members will be fire, starvation, and pools with mysteriously disappearing ladders.

[Enail]

And most common cause of being fired is that someone put a dirty plate in front of your door so you couldn't go to work.

Also, if you spend a lot of time at home, your household furnishings are crucial to your happiness, but if you go out adventuring, being well-dressed is surprisingly important to your health and personal effectiveness, beyond even just defense and protection from the elements.

And pure gold is a much better choice for weapons, tools and presumably cutlery, than iron or even steel.

[bomaye]

You'll never see your hands or your feet, but you will see a gun if you hold one

[Robjection]

You can take a bullet, a fireball to the face and a lightning bolt to the chest and you'll be just fine, but if you then get even the slightest, tiniest little cut afterwards, you will immediately drop dead.

[Enail]

A good night's sleep completely cures all wounds

If you need to break into somewhere really secure and important, probably try pushing any blocks lying around into interesting sequences.

If an object's going to be really important to you in the future, you can't sell it, but it's okay because it doesn't weigh anything to carry around.

[eselle28]

When choosing what to wear in the morning, you would repeat this to yourself: the more respected the warrior, the larger the shoulder pads.

You would try to learn as many riddles as possible in school, because you never know when your very life might depend on knowing the answer to, "The person who makes it, sells it. The person who buys it never uses it. The person who uses it doesn’t know it."

[KMR]

No need to agonize over major life decisions; just save first, and you can go back and make another choice if you regret your first one.

You may find yourself challenging everyone you can easily beat to a fight, just to get more experience.

You'll do just about every favor anyone asks of you, because there will always be a tangible reward.

[eselle28]

It's not a big deal if you kill people in the middle of the street so long as they attack you first.

[bomaye]

You'll know you achieved something when you hear a dinging or a popping noise

[eselle28]

If you are a high school student, you will find much of your time is occupied by seasonal festivals, no matter how crucial other aspects of your life seem in comparison.

[bomaye]

As long as you find the waypoint when visiting a new town or city, you can teleport instantly to anyplace you've ever been before

[Enail]

Anything that's breakable, break it! You'll be rewarded.

[Robjection]

You'll know you achieved something when you hear a dinging or a popping noise

Or if you find a secret or an item you'll hear a little tune.

[caliseivy]

If you need more money, you just have to beat up the local wildlife until you've gotten your fill.
Consequently, if you're going outside the city, you have to be fully protected.

You could store things like flaming arrows or lit torches in wooden containers or the floor of your house and not worry about anything catching fire.

If you punch someone in the face or start a fight with local law enforcement they'll develop short-term amnesia of the event once you exit the building or enter the nearest one.

[Enail]

If you fail at a big challenge, don't worry, you will almost always be able to go away, prepare more, and then come back and try again, as many times as you like until you succeed. Makes job interviews and asking people out much less stressful!

[eselle28]

You're probably an orphan.

If you're not an orphan, you might want to take a moment to spend some quality time with your parents. Not for any particular reason. Just because life is unpredictable, and it's good to make sure your loved ones know you appreciate them if anything bad should happen.

If you are an orphan but were raised by a kindly person who's like a mother or father to you, go ahead and visit them too.

Hell, if there's anyone in your life who you actually care about, go make sure they know it before you set off to do anything of importance in life.

[Robjection]

You're probably an orphan.

If you're not an orphan, you might want to take a moment to spend some quality time with your parents. Not for any particular reason. Just because life is unpredictable, and it's good to make sure your loved ones know you appreciate them if anything bad should happen.

If you are an orphan but were raised by a kindly person who's like a mother or father to you, go ahead and visit them too.

Hell, if there's anyone in your life who you actually care about, go make sure they know it before you set off to do anything of importance in life.

This might actually be good advice for real.

[Enail]

Actually, if your hometown's a pretty nice place, maybe take a while to appreciate it and everyone in it, not just your family If you have a really close childhood friend, they're probably okay, though, especially if they're a cute girl.

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