The older I get, the more my own mind seems odd to me [advice]

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The older I get, the more my own mind seems odd to me [advice]

Post by Thanos6 on Sun Jan 21, 2018 12:54 pm

I'm in my mid-30s, and I don't know why, but lately I've been taking a long look at myself and realizing just how...different my beliefs and thought processes seem to be from the vast majority of people. Political, religious, sexual, philosophical...the thoughts and ideas that bubble in my head seem to be so perpendicular to almost anyone else's that I see. If any of you remember my posts over on DNL Prime, you may be familiar with this.

(I also have severe, genuine difficulty understanding why people have views that are Not My Views, but I've already discussed my empathy problem previously on this board)

It's gotten to the point where even on my personal blog, or on another message board that's full of my best Internet friends where I've been a well-respected member literally half my life... I'm afraid to post many of the odder thoughts I have for fears of being raked over the coals or eviscerated.

(This isn't me worrying about offending just one POV or subculture or group, but having thoughts that are so weird they seem to be out-of-tune with about 95% of the population and I think EVERYONE will jump on me)

There's only about two friends I have now that I feel I can share these thoughts with; one because he shares many of them himself, and one because he's a very very kind soul who accepts how strange I am and does his best to understand me and be my guide to "normal" people.

This isn't causing me a problem IRL; I'm in a LTR with a great woman, and I've got a pretty decent job where I'm fairly assured of getting a promotion once a space opens up. I still have lots of fun on my off days.  It's just...sometimes I catch my own thoughts and go, "Thanos, you're weird." (Hell, sometimes I DO think of my Internet name as my "real" name, which I guess is weird in itself)

Any thoughts?


Last edited by Thanos6 on Sun Jan 21, 2018 2:16 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Typo fix.)
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Re: The older I get, the more my own mind seems odd to me [advice]

Post by Enail on Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:58 pm

I'm not really sure what kind of thoughts you're hoping to get? It sounds rather frustrating having to always make that mental leap to other people's thinking, so, sympathy for that if that's what you're looking for. But OTOH, two friends who you can trust to share all your weird thoughts with sounds like a pretty good thing for anyone Wink
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Re: The older I get, the more my own mind seems odd to me [advice]

Post by Thanos6 on Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:07 am

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas for ways to feel less...inhuman?...when I have these thoughts.
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Re: The older I get, the more my own mind seems odd to me [advice]

Post by Werel on Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:09 pm

There's a pretty big difference between "weird" thoughts and ones which make you feel inhuman, so that sounds distressing.

If you're talking about abyss-of-your-psyche "I have some sudden graphic ideas about murdering and dismembering this guy who's blocking the subway escalator"-type thoughts, I don't think it's super weird to have those, it's just polite not to voice them, so you don't "see" other people having them. If they're really bothering you, I have no idea what to tell you other than talk with a pro who can help you get a grip on it? Shrug

But if you're talking about innocuous stuff that's just out of sync with what the people around you think, and you're able to function socially/it's not causing you trouble in your life (which it doesn't sound like?), then that's just a part of being a human who's a little out of step with his surroundings. And there are enough humans on this planet that there's almost certainly somebody out there who's thinking similar things, even if they're not in your immediate orbit, if that's any comfort.
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Re: The older I get, the more my own mind seems odd to me [advice]

Post by Thanos6 on Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:13 pm

Not thoughts about going on a murderous rampage or anything like that, no; in fact, most of them come from places of "these are the best ways to help people and improve the world," it's just most of them seem so completely different from anything I see anyone else proposing.

They're not just outside the Overton Window, they're down the block from the Overton House. Smile
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