How do you ask your partner for sex?

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How do you ask your partner for sex?

Post by Bootlebat on Tue Sep 18, 2018 5:49 am

As much as it pains me to say I have never had a relationship except one that lasted about a month (we never had sex). So I am wondering how do you ask exactly? In movies people always just seem to magically agree.

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Re: How do you ask your partner for sex?

Post by Werel on Thu Sep 20, 2018 2:09 pm

The "magical agreement" moments exist occasionally, but usually somebody has to do some communicating to get things started. Wink

Obviously it differs a lot between individuals and relationships, so it's hard to answer this without knowing what you're looking for - tips for your next relationship? Or just general experiences from other people? IME and that of friends, good ways to ask for sex are not so much to "ask", but to offer. Framing it as "this could be fun" rather than "GIMME" works better for a lot of people.
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Re: How do you ask your partner for sex?

Post by Hielario on Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:54 am

Did you ever kiss and hug and that stuff?
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Re: How do you ask your partner for sex?

Post by Bootlebat on Sat Sep 22, 2018 4:51 am

yes

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Re: How do you ask your partner for sex?

Post by Robjection on Sat Sep 22, 2018 11:13 am

Bootlebat wrote:As much as it pains me to say I have never had a relationship except one that lasted about a month (we never had sex). So I am wondering how do you ask exactly? In movies people always just seem to magically agree.
In movies people always just seem to magically do a lot of things. Things that leading doctors say can lower your body's sodium levels, so take them with a pinch of salt.

In all seriousness, Werel is right. If you're asking "Can I do this?", you're implying that you only care about whether or not you'll be permitted to do it, not whether people would actually like you to do it. Asking "Would you like to do this?" makes it clearer that the question is about what the other person wants to do and indicates that that's what you care about.

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