Non Gender-Specific Creeps of OLD

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Post by Autumnflame on Tue Nov 04, 2014 5:54 pm

this dude. wrote:Hey, hows it going? I was going through your Q&As when the power went out... For some reason cupid thinks we wouldn't jive, and I'm always curious to find out why, so I clicked on the "what I care about" tab-- read through, found nothing to support cupids assessment.

So I thought, "Hmm... Maybe if I check the "what they care about" tab.", clicked the tab, made it a few pages in; again, not finding anything that suggest we are a terrible "match", and the power went down.

To say the least, Im interested in chatting... To say the most, I wanna suck your pussy so well it makes your ass-hole rumble like a volcano.
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Post by eselle28 on Tue Nov 04, 2014 6:03 pm

Ew, Autumnflame.

Oh, and my latest creepy message wasn't creepy in and of itself and attempted to make conversation and talk about my profile. I'll spare everyone here the author's profile picture, which is a really badly-composed shot of his penis.
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Post by Nerdator on Tue Nov 04, 2014 7:33 pm

Autumnflame wrote:
this dude. wrote: [simian meanderings something]
To say the least, Im interested in chatting... To say the most, I wanna suck your pussy so well it makes your ass-hole rumble like a volcano.

Oooh, hyphenating 'ass-hole', that's class!

Also, does this person realise that volcanoes don't just rumble, they excr... erupt?.. OH, THE HORROR: WHY, WHY DID I THINK OF THIS?!
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Post by Guest on Tue Nov 04, 2014 7:40 pm

Autumnflame wrote:
this dude. wrote:
To say the least, Im interested in chatting... To say the most, I wanna suck your pussy so well it makes your ass-hole rumble like a volcano.

Neutral

Uhm, please tell me this isn't the message he started out with?

Nerdator wrote:
Also, does this person realise that volcanoes don't just rumble, they excr... erupt?.. OH, THE HORROR: WHY, WHY DID I THINK OF THIS?!

'Cuz your brain is planning your downfall. Shiny/thrilled

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Post by Autumnflame on Tue Nov 04, 2014 7:51 pm

Oh, it is. He didn't even have a picture, for that matter.

And! He came back again after I said "lolololol, blocked and reported," with "Blocked... Okay, thats[sic, and for all instances hereafter] fine-- everyones entitled to be a bitch; but reported! Reported for what? Are you fucking nuts?"

I don't know what makes me sadder, that the block function apparently didn't work (does it only apply to new messages? do any continuations in the same thread still get an access line?) or that he doesn't understand what makes that inappropriate.
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Post by Guest on Tue Nov 04, 2014 9:01 pm

Autumnflame wrote:Oh, it is. He didn't even have a picture, for that matter.

And! He came back again after I said "lolololol, blocked and reported," with "Blocked... Okay, thats[sic, and for all instances hereafter] fine-- everyones entitled to be a bitch; but reported! Reported for what? Are you fucking nuts?"

I don't know what makes me sadder, that the block function apparently didn't work (does it only apply to new messages? do any continuations in the same thread still get an access line?) or that he doesn't understand what makes that inappropriate.



That wasn't smart, of that fella. :I I'd say both are rather unfortunate.

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Post by Gentleman Johnny on Tue Nov 04, 2014 9:02 pm

Stumbles wrote: You don't want to pound the sword in, you want to pull it out and become the king of England...right? I 'unno. Awkward pick up lines are awkward.

He who pulleth out in time shall be the rightwise king of all Englande?

The only particularly odd one I ever got was from an (admittedly drop dead gorgeous) woman to the effect of "if you grow a beard, I'd go out with you". Um. . .no thanks. There's plenty of fetish fuel out there for you already.

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Post by BasedBuzzed on Tue Nov 04, 2014 9:28 pm

Gentleman Johnny wrote:
Stumbles wrote: You don't want to pound the sword in, you want to pull it out and become the king of England...right? I 'unno. Awkward pick up lines are awkward.

He who pulleth out in time shall be the rightwise king of all Englande?

The only particularly odd one I ever got was from an (admittedly drop dead gorgeous) woman to the effect of "if you grow a beard, I'd go out with you". Um. . .no thanks. There's plenty of fetish fuel out there for you already.

I'd try to lead that into a conversation on which beard/stache shapes suit people's faces the best, because it's a fun topic.

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Post by Stumbles on Wed Nov 05, 2014 4:35 am

Autumnflame wrote:
this dude. wrote:

To say the least, Im interested in chatting... To say the most, I wanna suck your pussy so well it makes your ass-hole rumble like a volcano.

...

D:

Wait, what?! The logistics boggle my mind. What is this fan fiction sentence written by a twelve year old?
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Post by BiSian on Wed Nov 12, 2014 9:55 pm

Not creepy, but annoying:

DoucheNozzle:
Besides being attractive what qualities do you believe you have?

BiSian (suspicious of douchebaggery)
What do you mean by this rather vague question?

DoucheNozzle:
Well the interpretation is key so far some girls have gotten angry because it points out that they don't really have any qualities beyond looks. The ones i become interested in are the ones who actually list their personal qualities.

BiSian (suspicion confirmed!)
Buddy, you have at least glanced at my profile. Take another look--I am very clear about who I am, what I value, and that I have interests besides applying mascara.

Douche:
I used to just ask what their best qualities are but usually they mentioned a body part or two.
More than anything I wanted to know how you interact with people interpersonally.

BiSian (douchecanoe!)
"Interpersonal" doesn't work the same via chat.
It seems you're expecting me to prove myself--that I'm not a shallow bimbo and therefore worthy of your attention. Okay, I'll play.
(List of 5 awesome BiSian qualities)
Oh look! Not a mention of a body part!

Douche:
Yeah but you look for offence which means you'll always nit pic what i say.

BiSian (WTF)
Yeah, totally sad that I haven't passed your screening process
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Post by Werel on Wed Nov 12, 2014 9:59 pm

BiSian wrote:Not creepy, but annoying:

DoucheNozzle:
Besides being attractive what qualities do you believe you have?

BiSian (suspicious of douchebaggery)
What do you mean by this rather vague question?

DoucheNozzle:
Well the interpretation is key so far some girls have gotten angry because it points out that they don't really have any qualities beyond looks. The ones i become interested in are the ones who actually list their personal qualities.

BiSian (suspicion confirmed!)
Buddy, you have at least glanced at my profile. Take another look--I am very clear about who I am, what I value, and that I have interests besides applying mascara.

Douche:
I used to just ask what their best qualities are but usually they mentioned a body part or two.
More than anything I wanted to know how you interact with people interpersonally.

BiSian (douchecanoe!)
"Interpersonal" doesn't work the same via chat.
It seems you're expecting me to prove myself--that I'm not a shallow bimbo and therefore worthy of your attention. Okay, I'll play.
(List of 5 awesome BiSian qualities)
Oh look! Not a mention of a body part!

Douche:
Yeah but you look for offence which means you'll always nit pic what i say.

BiSian (WTF)
Yeah, totally sad that I haven't passed your screening process

Side-eye

If I could slap this dude in the ear through a computer, would do so. Holy shit. "Riddle me these [unwinnable condescending semiotic hoops to jump through] three..."
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Post by nearly_takuan on Wed Nov 12, 2014 10:02 pm

Somebody took "you're checking to see if they're a good fit for you, not trying to prove yourself" to an illogical extreme.
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Post by Gentleman Johnny on Wed Nov 12, 2014 10:04 pm

NT, I think that's more the PUA process of making the woman qualify herself to you. . . like an "I read this in a book once" implementation of it.

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Post by nearly_takuan on Wed Nov 12, 2014 10:27 pm

Ugh, yeah, that sounds more likely...and worse. One of these days I'll accumulate enough morbid curiosity to peek at a male PUA thing; meanwhile I'll just be glad I didn't know that already.
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Post by BasedBuzzed on Thu Nov 13, 2014 7:14 am

>opens with a banter starter
>is met with skepticism
>goes with boring you're-not-like-those-other-girls claptrap
>does not work unsuprisingly enough
>just-asking-questions and you're-just-looking-to-be-offended cop-outs

There's little doubt he's operating on scripts. He can't even deviate from them when he clearly sees it's not working.

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Post by eselle28 on Mon Dec 01, 2014 10:16 pm

No, Tinder Dude who I matched with months ago, I am not interested in helping you realize your highly specific fantasy to have sex on the your rec room couch while your parents are unaware upstairs. I get that being home for the holidays bring up old high school memories, but that's just a strange thing to ask of a stranger.
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