Co-intern Conundrum [adv/discuss.]

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Post by Guest on Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:43 am

Okie, well, in September I started interning for a small video production company. Dope.

One of my classmates in my Internship Seminar class is also working with me at the same company. I don't think I had any other classes with her other than my scriptwriting and film analysis classes. Up until now we were acquainted, but now we're actual buddies and here it comes, I'm attracted to her. Fuck.

Not only is she physically attractive, but enjoys a similar type of stupid humor I do and is also a fellow filmmaker to boot.

We traded numbers early on in the semester and we've texted back & forth here and there and snapchat & shit like that. Which is cool, but a couple of weeks ago during a shoot we were talking and she mentioned that she liked pantsuits. At the time she didn't know what a pantsuit was and I explained what those were called and she asked if I had a girlfriend and if that's how I knew what a pantsuit was. Isn't asking if I have a girlfriend a glaringly obvious sign of interest or am I waaaay off base?

I'd love to go out with her (and also have sexy fun times maybe), but idk how she'd feel about it since she split with her ex some time ago and well, we work together.

So my question is: what do?

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Post by Guest on Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:51 am

"Hey, I think you're fun and funny and cool, and if you're interested, I'd like to see you outside work or class. Any interest in grabbing lunch sometime?"

Don't overcomplicate! If she says no, just say, "Okay! I figured I'd give it a try," and then change the subject back to something neutral. If you don't make it a big deal, she probably won't, either.

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Post by Guest on Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:53 am

This sounds promising. Definitely ask her if she'd like to go on a date, making it clear that if not you are cool and would still like to be friends.

DOOOO EEEEEET.

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Post by eselle28 on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:00 pm

Ask her if she wants to go out on a date. If she says yes, cool. If she says no, be cool about it.
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Post by Guest on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:10 pm

I'm leaning towards asking her out, yes. The one real legitimate concern I have is, we intern together at the same company and there's still about a month and a half left in our program.

I won't particularly care if she says 'no', buuuut, I do care if she feels awkward about it and doesn't wanna work with me anymore if she turns me down. Why do I care? Because if that happens she may drop the program and delay graduating a semester later unless I'm thinkin way too deep into it. Which I probably am.

Any idea on how I can get my brain to shut the hell up.

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Post by UristMcBunny on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:11 pm

Do it ask the thing! Grin

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Post by Guest on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:12 pm

Mikey, as long as you are cool with it and still continue to treat her is a casually-nice way if she says no, she's not going to drop out of the programme over that.

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Post by Guest on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:23 pm

Mikey, the important thing is not to make it relationship-defining. If you're casual about it, and if you move on without freaking out, she'll probably be fine. She's cool, right? You like her? She's probably not coming across as a paranoid over-the-top freak-out person?

Just don't overstate your interest (You seem cool; I'd like to know you better) and back off completely if you get a no, and there will almost certainly be no problems.

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Post by Conreezy on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:35 pm

Go for it!

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Post by Autumnflame on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:54 pm

I seriously doubt she's going to drop a program and delay her educational career just because someone asked her out. Pretty sure you're overestimating your influence. :p Ask her out.


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Post by Enail on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:55 pm

Be clear when you're asking that it's a date!
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Post by eselle28 on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:58 pm

Going to second the being clear thing - because you work and study together, specifying what you're asking for is pretty key here. And, yeah, I also don't think it's all that likely she'll drop out if you ask her out politely and she says no.
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Post by Guest on Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:59 pm

I've made the suggestion to her before that we should go get 'turned up' and she didn't seem opposed to the idea. Razz

All right, well I probably will ask her out soonish because this week and weekend are absolutely insane. On top of work and class, I gotta help out at a Haunted House event on Halloween night (me and others are striking down the speakers & stuff).

So, we shall see what happens. Grin I appreciate the encouragement.

Now, have there been times you guys had to deal with situations like this? If so, how'd you guys deal with it?

Autumnflame wrote:I seriously doubt she's going to drop a program and delay her educational career just because someone asked her out. Pretty sure you're overestimating your influence. :p Ask her out.

That makes a lot of sense, as I've said before I'm just a kid. Razz How much power can I really world, ya know?


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Post by eselle28 on Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:09 pm

Err, what does "turned up" mean? It's not a term people I know use! Sorry!
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Post by Guest on Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:34 pm

eselle28 wrote:Err, what does "turned up" mean? It's not a term people I know use! Sorry!

Party/drink/chill out while drinkin' basically. Razz I don't use the term often either but we'd say it jokingly sometimes lol

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Post by eselle28 on Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:12 pm

Ah, gotcha.
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Post by Autumnflame on Thu Oct 30, 2014 2:05 am

See also: turnt, turnt up, turn down for ...

(I've actually never seen it used fully spelled out as turned, hah. Amused that it took me a second to recognize it.)
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Post by Guest on Thu Oct 30, 2014 2:09 am

Autumnflame wrote:See also: turnt, turnt up, turn down for ...

(I've actually never seen it used fully spelled out as turned, hah. Amused that it took me a second to recognize it.)

Yeah it prolly is turnt up. I'm just that much of a nerd to botch the term. Razz

ETA: I don't think I'll be asking her out this week; we're both working Halloween/Friday night. Then the next day, she's going camping with some of the folks at our internship and I gotta work that day too. Then Sunday, well, I got church, a video to shoot and catching up with another friend. UGH. Maybe next week will work better I hope, I really wanna hangout with this girl more. :I

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Post by Guest on Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:00 pm

Update/Double-Post: Uhhhhh.

Okie, here's the pulse, today while we were working, Intern Girl mentioned how she traded numbers with a mall security guard after witnessing a mall robbery. Problem: security dude won't leave her alone, so now she's rather frustrated at this fact which in turn screws me over. I think my first mistake was not asking her out sooner. Crapsackle.

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Post by Lemminkainen on Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:05 pm

The Mikey wrote:Update/Double-Post: Uhhhhh.

Okie, here's the pulse, today while we were working, Intern Girl mentioned how she traded numbers with a mall security guard after witnessing a mall robbery. Problem: security dude won't leave her alone, so now she's rather frustrated at this fact which in turn screws me over. I think my first mistake was not asking her out sooner. Crapsackle.

This doesn't really screw you over. You already have been in contact with her (since you two are buddies) and haven't been harassing her, so she knows you're not like Douchebag Mall Cop. So, just pick some time when she's relaxed and not venting to you about Mall Cop to ask.

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Post by reboot on Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:27 pm

Yeah, I think you just need to ask. Here is a potential script:

"Can ypu believe how crazy this week has been? I totally need some $insert slang of kids today time. Want to go on a date with me next week to $thing/$place/$event? Xday, Yday, and Zday at X times are best for me, but I might be able to adjust."
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Post by Guest on Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:42 pm

Lemminkainen wrote:

This doesn't really screw you over.  You already have been in contact with her (since you two are buddies) and haven't been harassing her, so she knows you're not like Douchebag Mall Cop.  So, just pick some time when she's relaxed and not venting to you about Mall Cop to ask.

You're correct, I am her friend, no I am not nor am I like Douchebag Mall Cop, no.

But I have think how will she feel? Will she feel betrayed that I, a fella who she trusts enough, asked her out?

I also didn't tell you what she said after she told us the story, she said something along the lines of "I hate all men." I looked at her with a worried look and she jokingly said "All. Men." I think have of her was being facetious, but I don't know. I also don't wanna lose a good friend either.

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Post by reboot on Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:47 pm

Then drop the word date in my script and say "You have had a shit week. You want $insert youth phrase for spending time together next week?" and back burner things for a bit. Not ideal but if the night rolls well you can ask for a date at the end
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Post by Guest on Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:12 pm

reboot wrote:Then drop the word date in my script and say "You have had a shit week. You want $insert youth phrase for spending time together next week?" and back burner things for a bit. Not ideal but if the night rolls well you can ask for a date at the end

That doesn't sound like too bad of an idea, problem is we both pretty much work at the same time. Plus, she probably gets out later than me (she's a server/bartender at a yacht club) and this week, well, like I said, she's going camping with the others from the conpany we intern for. I see her next Tuesday, although I can text her if she wants to chill next week...

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Post by reboot on Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:18 pm

Signal interest this week for Weds/Thurs. If you want to get on the agenda sooner is better than later with people who are busy.
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