[DISC] How do you know when it's love?

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[DISC] How do you know when it's love? Empty [DISC] How do you know when it's love?

Post by Guest on Fri Nov 14, 2014 4:47 pm

So, you've met someone. And you've been seeing them for a while. You find that your live is gradually starting to fit itself to curve pleasantly around their presence in it, like they're an object that exerts a gravitational pull.

When you met them, you were unsure. You discovered that you like them, and there was mutual attraction. You wandered down that road, and had some fun. How do you tell when you've passed that invisible line from liking into love? What does it mean to say you love a partner? How does love look? How does love act? When you say, "I love you," what is it that you are saying to a person?

Note: this is entirely speculative/curious on my part: whatever my answer to this question, I'm certain that my response to "am I?" is, "Not yet." Wink

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Post by Conreezy on Fri Nov 14, 2014 5:39 pm

"I can't tell you but it lasts forever."

--Sammy Hagar

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Post by nearly_takuan on Fri Nov 14, 2014 6:05 pm

Eh, I don't think it's got that much magic in it; forever is a pretty long time. My grandmother says she loved my grandfather until one day she didn't, and that doesn't mean she didn't really love him at the start or that it was just infatuation, and I'm inclined to believe her. (About that, at least. We're fighting about GMOs.)

It is kind of a know-it-when-you-see-it kind of thing, though. My limited experience has basically been that for no rational easy-to-describe reason I would want to spend more than the usual amount of time with a person, or otherwise do things for them beyond my limited base capacity for generosity.
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Post by Guest on Sat Nov 15, 2014 8:03 am

"How do you know you love somebody? When you share your inner most secret racism with them." - Louis CK.

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Post by helbling on Mon Nov 17, 2014 5:47 pm

Depends on you. I'm very introverted, and desperately need my alone time, so I know it's love when I can have someone in that space while I'm having my 'alone' time and still get recharged. With my husband, it's actually gotten to the point where I get less recharged by my alone time if he's NOT around than if he is. But a lot of 'when do you know it's love' very much comes down to the person in question.

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Post by Conreezy on Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:18 pm

Honest answer:

I never really had a swooning, "I've fallen in love and I can't get up" kind of realization. But, about three years into my relationship with my wife, when love was very present but things like marriage weren't really being seriously discussed, I started to think of her as not just an integral part of my life at the moment, but as someone whom I wanted to be with for a long time. She offered to give money to my mother, who I was helping financially for a brief period, and that struck me as something so deeply loyal and moving that I wanted to be with her so I could be the mate that could offer something so important back to her. (Is that what it means when people say, "she makes me want to be a better man?")

Anyway, that's when I started thinking less of her as a partner I love, but could probably live without, and more as a partner as close to me as blood.

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Post by TheRoux on Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:15 pm

helbling wrote:Depends on you. I'm very introverted, and desperately need my alone time, so I know it's love when I can have someone in that space while I'm having my 'alone' time and still get recharged. With my husband, it's actually gotten to the point where I get less recharged by my alone time if he's NOT around than if he is. But a lot of 'when do you know it's love' very much comes down to the person in question.

^^ This!! ^^

It's been my experience also. With my first girlfriend, we used to see eachother during weekends since she lived in the suburbs of my city and we used to be busy during week days. We would cocoon and watch movies all weekends some times... but sometimes we could not get our weekend because of work or other stuff and my weekends without her didn't feel as fulfilling...
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