Feels, friends & shizzle [rant?/advice/disc]

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:48 pm

OneTrueGuest wrote:Nah, not over the phone.  It's not dishonest asking someone to hang out and then ask them on a date.  You still want to hang out with her regardless of her answer.  

So just meet up, have a chat, when things feel chill and flowing conversationally ask her.  Or wait till you sense it's the end of the hangout and ask her.  That might be best.  Less awkward for both of you depending on the answer.  

Yes! Thank you! -hugs-

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Post by OneTrueGuest on Thu Jan 01, 2015 7:22 pm

My pleasure! Good luck!

And remember, whatever the outcome, this is a good thing. You are putting yourself out there, you are pushing through your fears, this is all good.

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Post by Guest on Fri Jan 02, 2015 7:59 pm

OneTrueGuest wrote:My pleasure!  Good luck!

And remember, whatever the outcome, this is a good thing.  You are putting yourself out there, you are pushing through your fears, this is all good.

I got a pizza hangout tomorrow, so let's see where it heads.

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Post by Guest on Sun Jan 04, 2015 1:43 am

The Mikey wrote:
OneTrueGuest wrote:My pleasure!  Good luck!

And remember, whatever the outcome, this is a good thing.  You are putting yourself out there, you are pushing through your fears, this is all good.

I got a pizza hangout tomorrow, so let's see where it heads.


Well that ain't happenin'.

Called her a few minutes ago (my local time is 8:41p PST) to see if she was still down for pizza, she didn't pick up. Earlier in a Snapchat she said she was sick & tired and had family drama. It's possible she may have fallen asleep. -sigh- I think I'm just gonna let this one go (again). Neutral

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Post by Werel on Sun Jan 04, 2015 8:39 pm

The Mikey wrote:
Well that ain't happenin'.

Called her a few minutes ago (my local time is 8:41p PST) to see if she was still down for pizza, she didn't pick up. Earlier in a Snapchat she said she was sick & tired and had family drama. It's possible she may have fallen asleep. -sigh- I think I'm just gonna let this one go (again). Neutral

One cancelled hangout doesn't mean you need to give up on the whole concept of asking her out, though! It's no big deal, and no reflection on you, this stuff just happens-- why not just reschedule and ask her then?
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Post by Guest on Sun Jan 04, 2015 10:01 pm

Werel wrote:

One cancelled hangout doesn't mean you need to give up on the whole concept of asking her out, though! It's no big deal, and no reflection on you, this stuff just happens-- why not just reschedule and ask her then?

Crap. I forgot to mention, this is the second time that's happened. Although that time I didn't have any ulterior motives, I just wanted to chill, have a beer. Toke out, I dunno.

Using my own powers of Sherlockian Deductive Reasoning (a term I made up on the spot), I concluded that... maybe, just maybe, even if the asking was a success, maybe even if she did say yes, what are the chances of her flaking out? Maybe I'm just a dumb ass or maybe I'm just an asshole. I don't have a clue.

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Post by Jayce on Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:48 pm

One step at a time. You haven't even asked her out yet and you're already worried about her not turning up.

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Post by nonA on Mon Jan 05, 2015 6:35 am

p=0. Sorry dude.

Look. I recommend that next time you talk, you ask for a get-together and make an explicit point of calling it a date-date. It's probably too late with this one, but it'll still do two good things; it'll give you a framework so you can make a move in a timely fashion with the next girl, and the fact that the sky failed to fall and that nobody swung by to brand the word "CREEP" on your forehead will teach you that this isn't anything to get too worked up over. Besides, if the girl is pulling away already, it's not like you're risking that much by asking.

But managing momentum is important, and you've been letting it bleed away while you were being a "good boy". Remember this for next time, so you can make your move in a more timely fashion.

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Post by Guest on Mon Jan 05, 2015 11:38 am

Well, here's the kicker I didn't get a chance to ask, she never called me back or let me know what was going on. I know we're not* married or anything but if you and another person agreed upon meeting up, wouldn't it be a nice courtesy to let the other party know "Hey looks like this won't be happening" or "Hey sorry I didn't answer your call/text/snap, etc."

Maybe I'm being unfair. I dunno...

*EDIT: oh Lawd I forgot to put in "not"


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Post by BasedBuzzed on Mon Jan 05, 2015 12:25 pm

Flakers gonna flake. I wouldn't read too much into it other than a shitty communication style on her part. If this doesn't bother you enough to move on to the next dudette, here's some possibilities:
-Never make plans with her you wouldn't enjoy doing on your own.
-Group activities(since this should lead up to asking her out).
-Activity spam(invite her to 5 things you're going to be doing anyway, she's bound to have time for at least one).
-Relegate the duty of planning the next activity to her.

In the meanwhile, do try asking out other dudettes to combat oneitis.

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Post by Guest on Mon Jan 05, 2015 11:48 pm

BasedBuzzed wrote:Flakers gonna flake. I wouldn't read too much into it other than a shitty communication style on her part. If this doesn't bother you enough to move on to the next dudette, here's some possibilities:
-Never make plans with her you wouldn't enjoy doing on your own.
-Group activities(since this should lead up to asking her out).
-Activity spam(invite her to 5 things you're going to be doing anyway, she's bound to have time for at least one).
-Relegate the duty of planning the next activity to her.  

In the meanwhile, do try asking out other dudettes to combat oneitis.

I'll be honest, it does bug me. It shouldn't but, you know how it is. Neutral Although, more in a "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I did" kind of way.

But I probably won't find (or look for) another girl for awhile, which is usually how it does, of course that could change at any moment (maybe). Plus I don't feel the onset of oneitis either, I'm too... frustrated/upset/disappointed/apathetic to really feel a genuine case of oneitis.

I'm prolly not being fair here.

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Post by Enail on Tue Jan 06, 2015 12:02 am

It's totally reasonable to be annoyed at someone being flakey on you, it's an annoying thing to do. Just don't make too much of it and what it means about you (unless it happens a lot with friends you're about to ask out and not with friends you're not, in which case it might be worth a thought or two.)
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Post by Guest on Tue Jan 06, 2015 1:09 am

You're right, it ain't a big thing, but it's certainly disheartening. Neutral

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