I think I've found the answer to all my problems

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I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Herr R on Sun Dec 28, 2014 4:58 am

I've just realized how if only I've smoked weed everyday from teens, how all of my problems probably not be as major or even exist. And yet, here I am. 34 and just started smoking several months ago, flying high as a kite and I realize that now I don't give a shit about my problems. I'm afraid of going to shrinks and psychs whilst sober. But maybe a few puffs from a blunt would let me be more open with a therapist without fear of breaking down and showing my weaknesses. Shit, maybe if I smoked weed everyday, I would of have gotten laid a long time ago by now and maybe even a string of relationships (long and/or short) by now, like all the normal beautiful people do. I realized this after talking to the roommate whom I normally only barely tolerate, about how I felt after my mediocre and perhaps pathetic attempts at trying to act like a sociable human being who can actually talk to people, only to feel like if the people I went to meet seemed to act indifferent to me, even possible hook-up girl, despite driving 3 1/2 hours to meet them. I was able to talk about it to him whilst smoking and I felt good. So I'm thinking of finally making an appointment with an emotional prostitute (or rent-a-friend, as I like to call the mental health industry as well, since I don't think they're a real profession at all) but smoking beforehand so then I won't feel like a loser for talking to someone who's getting paid to listen to you rant about your problems and in return, make you feel happy about being a total loser. Shit, I don't even feel the usual sting to my hated fee fees, that I normally feel while sober when I admit the reality to myself that I'm a loser. That is the magic of pot.

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Guest on Sun Dec 28, 2014 5:15 am

Herr R, would you welcome outsider thoughts/comments or did you just want to lay out your thoughts for its own sake?

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Herr R on Sun Dec 28, 2014 5:19 am

Go ahead and lay out your thoughts and comments dude/dudette/some vaguely human person without gender since that's what SJW's deem should be the only way to refer to other persons!

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by nearly_takuan on Sun Dec 28, 2014 5:32 am

No thoughts currently except that I don't know where that thing about "SJWs" came from but it's incorrect.
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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Herr R on Sun Dec 28, 2014 5:44 am

Hey, do you guys think that if I actually manage to hook up with a girl (after smoking weed of course, since weed is the great equalizer and it won't make me seem awkward as shit)and if I smoked some more, then perhaps I won't have to tell her that I'm a sub-human virgin and that I probably won't giver her earth-shattering orgasms because I have no idea what I would be doing?

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Guest on Sun Dec 28, 2014 5:48 am

Well, I guess my first question was: what happens when you run out of weed? What happens when you run out of options to self-medicate?

Also, I don't think you'd magically know what to do since, y'know, you'd be high as shit. You wouldn't be able to fucking pay attention during sex anyway.

And I think no amount of weed will be able to mask that self-loathing of your virginity. Seriously, what kind of bullshit is that? "Sub-human"? Really?


Last edited by HermitTheToad on Sun Dec 28, 2014 5:57 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Herr R on Sun Dec 28, 2014 5:50 am

HermitTheToad wrote:Well, I guess my first question was: what happens when you run out of weed? What happens when you run out of options to self-medicate?


Get more weed?

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by BasedBuzzed on Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:15 am

Plenty of people use it as a crutch, but be careful not to turn into a weed evangelist. Finally, this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEoMI9BwHp4

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Enail on Sun Dec 28, 2014 12:43 pm

<mod> Herr R, please watch yourself on how you refer to virgins. It's not cool to describe any group of people as sub-human. </mod>
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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Herr R on Sun Dec 28, 2014 2:11 pm

HermitTheToad wrote:Also, I don't think you'd magically know what to do since, y'know, you'd be high as shit. You wouldn't be able to fucking pay attention during sex anyway.

And I think no amount of weed will be able to mask that self-loathing of your virginity. Seriously, what kind of bullshit is that? "Sub-human"? Really?

I don't think it's about magically knowing what to do, rather about being high and not being self-conscience about your performance. Especially if you don't want to reveal your V card and therefore you have to at least look competent enough.


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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by OneTrueGuest on Sun Dec 28, 2014 2:34 pm

There's a reason people turn to alcohol and drugs. It makes them lose their inhibitions and feel momentarily less crap about themselves. There is a reason that almost every party has people wasted out of their minds. You have finally figured out that reason Smile .

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having some self medicated help as long as you realise that it is only a superficial solution at best. Yes, it might help you get over the hurdle of being intimate with a woman, but it certainly will not make you a better lover (pot and alcohol actually have the opposite performance effect). And it will certainly not solve the more profound issues you are dealing with. In fact, from everything I've seen with people with addictions, ultimately the use of drugs and alcohol makes things worse. As an aid on occasion they can absolutely be useful, but careful. This is where addiction starts. Feeling like you can't exist in the real world without extra help is not healthy. At this point you might not give a flying fig, but I think I would be remiss if I didn't caution you.

Be careful too that you don't decide that since you don't care what anyone thinks anymore that you can become an asshole because who cares. Treating people with goodness and kindness is still important, high/drunk or not. Do not abuse your new found strength.

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by BasedBuzzed on Sun Dec 28, 2014 3:04 pm

OneTrueGuest wrote: Yes, it might help you get over the hurdle of being intimate with a woman, but it certainly will not make you a better lover (pot and alcohol actually have the opposite performance effect) 

Addendum: in the scenario that you do have whiskey dick, just focus on her pleasure instead. There's a chance the fact that you even bother to do so in such a case is an utterly novel experience to the dudette.

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Herr R on Sun Dec 28, 2014 3:06 pm

I don't think that I'll be suffering from whiskey dick on pot. In fact, I think sometimes it makes me even more turned on.

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by OneTrueGuest on Sun Dec 28, 2014 3:20 pm

Yes but Herr R, I'm not just talking about whiskey dick (which is an issue) but the mechanics of things. Think about how people can't walk in a straight line when they're drunk, or think about how they fall over when they are high. Having sex requires two people to work together to do some pretty complex stuff when you think about it. Sure you're all turned on and stuff, but that's what I fear. That it will be all about you, and you getting off. It's easier for a guy, as we know. You can be very wham bam thank you ma'am if you want. My point is, sure you can have sex that way, but it doesn't mean you'll be any good for the person you're with. But if all you care about is getting yourself off, then I guess go for it. I'm just saying the sloppy sex that happens when people are high or drunk is usually not that great in general, and usually the woman ends up losing out in such circumstances.

(not saying this is always the case, and of course it depends on how high and/or drunk you are. Tipsy/buzzed is still pretty okay for being able to really have some fun sexy times, I just wanted you to be aware that just being drunk/high does not = good sex. It = sex)

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Herr R on Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:08 pm

Good point. Let me try driving first or some other complex activity while high and I'll get back to you.

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by nearly_takuan on Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:10 pm

If you want to endanger your own life, fine, but putting other people in danger is not cool.
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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Werel on Sun Dec 28, 2014 11:15 pm

Some thoughts from your friendly local former dispensary employee:

1) You're a new smoker. Yes, weed is great, but like all things, the novelty will wear off. It can indeed be a nice part of your life in the long term, but it will not feel like The Answer to All Things for very long.

2) Yes, sex while stoned can be fucking incredible; your sensory input can be amplified, fatigue ignored, and inhibitions lowered. It can also be horrible and paranoia-inducing and every action and word can be misconstrued in the worst possible way because you're high. Especially true if you're new to your partner or new to sex in general. Proceed with caution. Like folks said, it can also make you a selfish lover.

3) Yes, as my best-ever therapist said, weed can help snap you out of depressive thought cycles and provide new perspectives. But it's not a permanent fix, and at best, it provides actionable intel/points of view/things you hadn't considered that you then need to work on while sober. If you can hold onto that feeling of lessened self-loathing and increased sociability, if you can recreate it while sober because weed allowed you to experience it and you now have a sort of blueprint for that headspace, great! If you're incapable of taking lessons from your high self and applying them to your sober self, and instead just find yourself wishing you were high 100% of the time, not great. Responsible use of pot should make your regular life better (or at least not affect it much), not make it worse by comparison.

3a) Speaking of therapists, "rent-a-friend" is, while an appealingly glib phrase, totally off the mark. The best thing about therapists is they're not your friend. They have no personal investment in you, or you them. Which makes it a billion times easier to be honest, ugly, and vulnerable with them.

4) If you'd smoked weed every day since your teens, your tolerance would be so high that you wouldn't be able to get remotely stoned without a pretty massive financial expenditure. That'd probably be the only thing about your life that was significantly different. Wink

5) Weed makes it easy to talk. It doesn't make you good at talking. Like being a selfish lover, a lot of people get a bad case of motor mouth while high, and don't take any account of whether their interlocutors are engaged or interested. I'm glad it makes it easier for you to open up and talk to people about shit that's bothering you-- seriously, that's a great thing. But don't confuse it with being a better conversationalist, or equate it with being more socially successful. Everybody, everybody, has experiential knowledge of The Intensely Annoying Stoner Who Won't Shut Up. Don't be that guy-- if you want to have high conversations (which, admittedly, can be a special genre of conversation), be extra attentive to turn-taking, listening, and asking questions.

6) Don't drive high. Duh.

7) From a non-mod perspective, quit shit-talking virgins, you're making me sad. Razz
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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by The Wisp on Sun Dec 28, 2014 11:45 pm

Ooo, Werel,  I didn't know we had a pot expert in our midst Razz

Let me ask you, it would be inadvisable for somebody really prone to anxiety (like me) to take pot, right? I was in a therapy group for anxiety over the summer and all the guys besides me had tried pot, and they all said it made them more anxious. So I've never tried pot, despite it's legality. Does that jive with your experiences?

As far as drugs solving all of a person's problems, I have heard (mostly from therapists) some second and third hand stories of people whose anxiety problems disappeared after tripping on hallucenogenics once or twice. Of course, I've also heard stories of people who had mental breakdowns due to hallucenogens, so I've never pursued them.
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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Enail on Sun Dec 28, 2014 11:50 pm

Don't drive high.
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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Werel on Mon Dec 29, 2014 12:10 am

The Wisp wrote:
Let me ask you, it would be inadvisable for somebody really prone to anxiety (like me) to take pot, right? I was in a therapy group for anxiety over the summer and all the guys besides me had tried pot, and they all said it made them more anxious. So I've never tried pot, despite it's legality. Does that jive with your experiences?

Hm, this is one of those things that's wildly variable from person to person. Some of our patients had medical marijuana cards specifically for PTSD or anxiety disorders, and found that weed really helped take the panic-edge off and disrupt anxious thought loops. But yeah, some people, including those who have no anxiety issues while sober, can get incredibly paranoid. Purely anecdotally, I've met more women than men who report paranoia when high, but of course it happens to men too.

If you wanted to take advantage of living in CO and see if it had any positive effect on your anxiety, I'd suggest starting with an indica or indica-dominant hybrid (a good dispensary employee will be able to suggest specific strains which are better for the anxiety-prone), and of course being with someone you trust and who makes you feel good about yourself. Wink
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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by OneTrueGuest on Mon Dec 29, 2014 1:27 am

Ack no! Don't drive high! Even if let's say you don't care about yourself, care about the other people on the road!


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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by nonA on Mon Dec 29, 2014 5:10 am

Following up on Wisp's question, for Werel or anybody else who might know. Are there any good supportive places for first time pot users who don't know how they'll react? Having people around to help keep you grounded is probably a better place if you do wind up with a paranoid high than being alone in public or up in your room. (And IIRC, Wisp's family does not sound like the best people to manage him if he does wind up going crazy paranoid.)

To Herr R, I'll just leave this here:

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Wondering on Mon Dec 29, 2014 6:14 pm

Enail wrote:Don't drive high.

And don't joke about driving high. It is not. funny.

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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by Enail on Mon Dec 29, 2014 6:31 pm

I wasn't joking. scratch
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Re: I think I've found the answer to all my problems

Post by The Wisp on Mon Dec 29, 2014 6:36 pm

For the record, I don't see myself trying pot in the near future. And no, my family would not be super supportive of pot use (though I doubt they'd be pissed either).
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