Pony-tails on men: Yay or nay?

[The Wisp]

So, my hair is getting pretty long at this point (I don't like getting hair cuts ), and I'm thinking of maybe starting to wear it in a pony-tail some of the time. Hair in a pony tail seems easier to deal with.

However, it seems that male-pony-tails have become associated with poor hygiene, poor sense of style, and creepiness/social awkwardness (which is weird because most of the pony-tailed guys I've met have been pretty laid back, creative, and cool, though these were of an older generation than me). So I'm wondering if a ponytail would send off bad vibes in real life or not. What are your opinions on it?

[Spiffo]

Nay, because all that stuff you said.

I prefer a good haircut though, so I'm biased.

[reboot]

It can be done with the right styling/maintenance, right clothes, and right persona. Examples: https://www.pinterest.com/marnovandermerw/guys-with-awesome-ponytails/

[UristMcBunny]

Personally I like long hair on guys, so ponytails are cool with me. The trick to avoiding the negative stereotypes of ponytails is to not have a dirty, badly-cared-for head of hair. Get it trimmed regularly to avoid split ends, keep it neatly brushed, wash it frequently and make sure you give it the appropriate treatment for your hair type. Learn to braid it for times when you want to look smart.

[Suika]

I don't mind it.

[nearly_takuan]

Personally I like long hair on guys, so ponytails are cool with me.  The trick to avoiding the negative stereotypes of ponytails is to not have a dirty, badly-cared-for head of hair.  Get it trimmed regularly to avoid split ends, keep it neatly brushed, wash it frequently and make sure you give it the appropriate treatment for your hair type.  Learn to braid it for times when you want to look smart.

(I don't like getting hair cuts )

Nay, because all that stuff you said.

QED.

[eselle28]

There are a handful of people who have the superpower of being able to have long hair, do very little to maintain it, and still look great. When we're dealing with mere mortals, however, long hair generally requires a reasonable amount of care to be at its best. The part where this gets gendered is that you'd basically be moving from the amount of work a man puts into his hair to the amount of work a woman puts into hers - nothing extreme, but probably more work than you're used to.

If the main motivation for this is to spend less time on your hair while still looking good, I'd skip it, because you're probably only going to achieve one of those goals. If you liked the look of long hair or felt it expressed something about your personality or just wanted to have a less mainstream hairstyle while you're still a student and don't need to worry about dress codes, it would be a different matter.

[Werel]

There are a handful of people who have the superpower of being able to have long hair, do very little to maintain it, and still look great. When we're dealing with mere mortals, however, long hair generally requires a reasonable amount of care to be at its best. The part where this gets gendered is that you'd basically be moving from the amount of work a man puts into his hair to the amount of work a woman puts into hers - nothing extreme, but probably more work than you're used to.

Yup. Exactly.

I personally don't much like ponytails on guys, but I also very rarely see it done well outside of social circles where people of all genders are accustomed to doing intensive beautywork--e.g. hairdressers, actors, models, some prettyboy surfers. Long hair takes a lot of work, and ponytails often seem like an escape strategy for people who have long hair but don't want to do the work to manage it. A ponytail on a guy requires some serious effort to make it seem intentional and cool instead of "I couldn't be arsed to do anything with my hair." Especially all these ponytail dudes I see who look like they've never even heard of conditioner...

[The Wisp]

There are a handful of people who have the superpower of being able to have long hair, do very little to maintain it, and still look great. When we're dealing with mere mortals, however, long hair generally requires a reasonable amount of care to be at its best. The part where this gets gendered is that you'd basically be moving from the amount of work a man puts into his hair to the amount of work a woman puts into hers - nothing extreme, but probably more work than you're used to.

If the main motivation for this is to spend less time on your hair while still looking good, I'd skip it, because you're probably only going to achieve one of those goals. If you liked the look of long hair or felt it expressed something about your personality or just wanted to have a less mainstream hairstyle while you're still a student and don't need to worry about dress codes, it would be a different matter.

I do slightly prefer long hair aesthetically, and there are a couple of contingent reasons I prefer it as well (I don't like getting hair cuts, and I have a small 1cm-ish diameter bald spot on the back of my head due a benign flesh colored growth), but probably not enough to be motivated to maintain it. However, since it sounds like I'd have to get it cut to maintain it anyway, maybe I should go shorter. I'll have to think about this 

[reboot]

Frequency of cutting depends a lot on your hair's type. If the strands are thick, coarse, and not prone to dryness you can get away with cutting hair less IF you properly condition and care for it. I cut mine 2x/year max, but it tends to be super healthy

Dry, fine or otherwise fragile hair is a whole different story

[OneTrueGuest]

You'll notice that the link reboot posted takes you to the now quite popular "man bun".  That's a very contemporary and cool look.  If you can do that, you should be okay.  The ponytail however is quite dated.  

Ultimately current fashion trends don't really matter so long as you have the confidence to pull whatever you want to do off.  But if you are a little concerned, I highly recommend the man bun over the ponytail.

[Guest]

I say 'yay', but like others of said, you need to keep your hair in really good health.

I'd have a ponytail in mine if it wasn't so curly - it would just turn into a matted mess if I did it.

[fakely mctest]

You'll notice that the link reboot posted takes you to the now quite popular "man bun".  That's a very contemporary and cool look.  If you can do that, you should be okay.  The ponytail however is quite dated.  

Ultimately current fashion trends don't really matter so long as you have the confidence to pull whatever you want to do off.  But if you are a little concerned, I highly recommend the man bun over the ponytail.

Seconded. And reboot, bless you for those pictures.

My boyfriend is growing out his hair right now and I am so anxious for the day when it's long enough for the man bun.

[celette482]

One word: conditioner.

You want your hair to look like Thor's. I'm not asking, I'm telling. You want your hair to look like Thor's and to do that, you must use conditioner. Wash it every day if you have light hair, at most every other day if you have darker hair. Use. Conditioner.

Then, you can have a glorious glorious ponytail. There are some tactile experiences that straight women don't get very often from their romantic partners. One of the most common is running their fingers through hair. We do it to ourselves and to our female friends. We let our partners do it to us. We'd love some reciprocation.

I get my hair trimmed when it's long every 3 or 4 months to deal with split ends. What's really important is how you maintain it day to day. Do not be fooled. Long hair is more. work. than. short.

[Guest]

I will say that long hair tends to look better on skinnier dudes than on fatter dudes. Or at the very least dudes with faces that aren't terribly round like mine. I had long hair too back in my early to mid-teens but eventually I ended up chopping it up because I realized how stupid I looked.

Yeah, I conditioned and washed my hair erry day I had it, but I still looked dumb with it. At least nowadays my hair is short enough to be manageable, but long enough that you can run your fingers through. ;3

[Nerdator]

Am I the only one to think that the hair bits dangling on the pictures from reboot's link look 110% dorky? Because they do, and the only reason they are semi-tolerable on those pictures is because they are attached to men who'd look good even with a hat made out of a half of a huge turnip on.

One word: conditioner.
Then, you can have a glorious glorious ponytail. There are some tactile experiences that straight women don't get very often from their romantic partners. One of the most common is running their fingers through hair. We do it to ourselves and to our female friends. We let our partners do it to us. We'd love some reciprocation.  

What could it change? This is a genuine question: I wash and brush my hair every day – but I use the same soap for it that I use on my bum, and most of the rest of the bits.

[Werel]

One word: conditioner.
Then, you can have a glorious glorious ponytail. There are some tactile experiences that straight women don't get very often from their romantic partners. One of the most common is running their fingers through hair. We do it to ourselves and to our female friends. We let our partners do it to us. We'd love some reciprocation.  

What could it change? This is a genuine question: I wash and brush my hair every day – but I use the same soap for it that I use on my bum, and most of the rest of the bits.

Honestly? It could change the texture of your hair pretty dramatically. Personally, my hair looks like absolute ass when I don't use conditioner. If your hair is short, it's possible (though not optimal) to skip it, but if you have more than 4-5" of hair you'll notice conditioner makes it a WHOLE lot softer, shinier, smoother, and more pleasant to the touch. Seriously. Try it. Just using Dr. Bronner's or whatever on your hair every single day is going to leave you with pretty dry, fragile, stripped-of-necessary-oils hair.

[Guest]

Am I the only one to think that the hair bits dangling on the pictures from reboot's link look 110% dorky? Because they do, and the only reason they are semi-tolerable on those pictures is because they are attached to men who'd look good even with a hat made out of a half of a huge turnip on.

The man bun's? No, you're not the only one. I don't get why you would stop there and not go for a full ponytail, myself.

But, they are trendy right now. And, if someone is looking for something that's actually in fashion, they are very much in fashion.

[Nerdator]

One word: conditioner.
Then, you can have a glorious glorious ponytail. There are some tactile experiences that straight women don't get very often from their romantic partners. One of the most common is running their fingers through hair. We do it to ourselves and to our female friends. We let our partners do it to us. We'd love some reciprocation.  

What could it change? This is a genuine question: I wash and brush my hair every day – but I use the same soap for it that I use on my bum, and most of the rest of the bits.

Honestly? It could change the texture of your hair pretty dramatically. Personally, my hair looks like absolute ass when I don't use conditioner. If your hair is short, it's possible (though not optimal) to skip it, but if you have more than 4-5" of hair you'll notice conditioner makes it a WHOLE lot softer, shinier, smoother, and more pleasant to the touch. Seriously. Try it. Just using Dr. Bronner's or whatever on your hair every single day is going to leave you with pretty dry, fragile, stripped-of-necessary-oils hair.

Hmmm, this is interesting. My hair (about a foot long) looks pretty decent naturally: it's thick, puffy and wavy, but it is kind of fragile and I tend to have split ends. I think I'm gonna go buy me a conditioner tomorrow and see where it takes me.

Am I the only one to think that the hair bits dangling on the pictures from reboot's link look 110% dorky? Because they do, and the only reason they are semi-tolerable on those pictures is because they are attached to men who'd look good even with a hat made out of a half of a huge turnip on.

The man bun's? No, you're not the only one. I don't get why you would stop there and not go for a full ponytail, myself.

But, they are trendy right now. And, if someone is looking for something that's actually in fashion, they are very much in fashion.

Yes, it's a major part of my aversion towards this hairstyle – it does look unimpressive and like unfinished business (deliberately avoiding sexual analogies here). I think there are better things you can do with a hair this long.

[UristMcBunny]

Am I the only one to think that the hair bits dangling on the pictures from reboot's link look 110% dorky? Because they do, and the only reason they are semi-tolerable on those pictures is because they are attached to men who'd look good even with a hat made out of a half of a huge turnip on.

The man bun's? No, you're not the only one. I don't get why you would stop there and not go for a full ponytail, myself.

But, they are trendy right now. And, if someone is looking for something that's actually in fashion, they are very much in fashion.

Yes, it's a major part of my aversion towards this hairstyle – it does look unimpressive and like unfinished business (deliberately avoiding sexual analogies here). I think there are better things you can do with a hair this long.

BRAIDS.

FRENCH BRAIDS ON MEN. LONG PLAITS DOWN THE BACK. TOP HALF OF HAIR PULLED BACK INTO A PLAIT WITH THE BOTTOM ALLOWED TO HANG LOOSE. YES.

[Guest]

Am I the only one to think that the hair bits dangling on the pictures from reboot's link look 110% dorky? Because they do, and the only reason they are semi-tolerable on those pictures is because they are attached to men who'd look good even with a hat made out of a half of a huge turnip on.

The man bun's? No, you're not the only one. I don't get why you would stop there and not go for a full ponytail, myself.

But, they are trendy right now. And, if someone is looking for something that's actually in fashion, they are very much in fashion.

Yes, it's a major part of my aversion towards this hairstyle – it does look unimpressive and like unfinished business (deliberately avoiding sexual analogies here). I think there are better things you can do with a hair this long.

BRAIDS.

FRENCH BRAIDS ON MEN.  LONG PLAITS DOWN THE BACK.  TOP HALF OF HAIR PULLED BACK INTO A PLAIT WITH THE BOTTOM ALLOWED TO HANG LOOSE.  YES.

Yeah, French braids look pretty awesome on anyone. I've been meaning to ask my sister to put some in my hair just to see how that would look. She knows how to do them, y'see.

[celette482]

What could it change? This is a genuine question: I wash and brush my hair every day – but I use the same soap for it that I use on my bum, and most of the rest of the bits.

I also suggest using actual shampoo. Body wash is too harsh for hair, particularly if you wash it every day. Might lead to that fragileness you're describing. But most hairdressers will tell you that conditioner is what really matters in terms of hair texture.

[Nerdator]

Yes, it's a major part of my aversion towards this hairstyle – it does look unimpressive and like unfinished business (deliberately avoiding sexual analogies here). I think there are better things you can do with a hair this long.

BRAIDS.

FRENCH BRAIDS ON MEN.  LONG PLAITS DOWN THE BACK.  TOP HALF OF HAIR PULLED BACK INTO A PLAIT WITH THE BOTTOM ALLOWED TO HANG LOOSE.  YES.

¡¡¡OH NO!!! I have triggered a hair riot! Soon it'll be burning wigs, broken razors and hair trimmers turned upside down everywhere!

What could it change? This is a genuine question: I wash and brush my hair every day – but I use the same soap for it that I use on my bum, and most of the rest of the bits.

I also suggest using actual shampoo. Body wash is too harsh for hair, particularly if you wash it every day. Might lead to that fragileness you're describing. But most hairdressers will tell you that conditioner is what really matters in terms of hair texture.

Okay, so I bought the stuff – something that had 'damaged and dry hair' on it (and a sale sticker, but that's a different story). And I'm definitely a convert into conditioners now. I've used it three or four times, and the hair has certainly become easier to brush and smoother to the touch – and I think it also looks better.

Re: shampoos: I consciously switched to soap, because shampoos tend to cause dandruff for me. Though I've thought about maybe looking for soaps that are more suitable for hair (like glycerine soaps).

[Werel]

Okay, so I bought the stuff – something that had 'damaged and dry hair' on it (and a sale sticker, but that's a different story). And I'm definitely a convert into conditioners now. I've used it three or four times, and the hair has certainly become easier to brush and smoother to the touch – and I think it also looks better.

Awesome!

Re: shampoos: I consciously switched to soap, because shampoos tend to cause dandruff for me. Though I've thought about maybe looking for soaps that are more suitable for hair (like glycerine soaps).

Forgive me if this is too obvious, but... have you tried dandruff shampoo?

[UristMcBunny]

Shampoo causing dandruff... were you ONLY using shampoo then, or did you also condition? Because shampoo can dry out the scalp, which is part of the reason for using conditioner - to re-moisturise everything.

Glad to hear conditioner is working for you!

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