Furred friends versus humans, first encounters!

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Furred friends versus humans, first encounters! Empty Furred friends versus humans, first encounters!

Post by InkAndComb on Wed Jan 07, 2015 1:53 am

So I've noticed in the comment section at DNL that many people have pets, and I have a question for all of you (especially shy pet owners):

My cats are very lovely and personality-laden creatures, but are finicky with new people.  However, everyone I know seems to think they are the cat whisperer and insists that "Cats LOVE them", so I "shouldn't worry".

How do I explain to my guests that it isn't 'personal' if my cats are shy, and that the best way to get my kitties to like you is to 1. Have treats (which I will provide!) 2. be patient; one comes from an abusive household and LOVES people, but just wants some quiet time with them first! The other is old and cranky; he will probably never love you (but he will deign to sit with you now and then if you're quiet).

Not to be the crazy cat lady or anything, but I just want people to understand that some cats really are shy and some really don't like everyone, without taking it as a slight to their animal-friendly nature! Sad  How do?


Last edited by InkAndComb on Wed Jan 07, 2015 1:55 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Title could be misconstrued)
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Post by celette482 on Wed Jan 07, 2015 9:54 am

I never understood this either, from the "Cats LOVE me" pov, because cats DO love me. Because I ignore cats until the point at which cats deign to visit me and then we are friends. And this has been true of all cats I've ever met. I think people who say cats love me and then corner cats are lying liars who have deluded themselves. /rant

My own kitties (see one in my icon) are skittish around people because they were strays. I haven't had that problem though, but maybe you should describe it as a "your cat is weird" thing. "Oh, Tomcat Hiddleston is weird and will only come if you ignore him"
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Post by reboot on Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:58 am

I just tell people my cat is kind of an asshole* and if they approach her she will bite and scratch. If they choose to try and make the first move, I kind of feel like it is on them

*A loveable asshole, but still an asshole
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Post by Caffeinated on Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:15 pm

celette482 wrote:I never understood this either, from the "Cats LOVE me" pov, because cats DO love me. Because I ignore cats until the point at which cats deign to visit me and then we are friends.

I think the ignoring them until they deign to visit is WHY cats love you.
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Post by Guest on Wed Jan 07, 2015 1:19 pm

I'm not a big cat person (thanks Internet for over saturating my eyes with cats) so I don't bother kitties and they don't bother me.

I am however, a dog person. I have three puppies that I love very much, but I especially love my golden retriever, he may be derpy as hell but I love him to death. There ain't a whole lot of bad in him, if anything he's terrified of car traffic and doesn't cause much trouble so we kinda let him roam around.

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Post by reboot on Wed Jan 07, 2015 1:35 pm

Funny thing is I run into people getting all over my dog even after I warn them that she is a bit shy and needs time to warm up to people, so please do not touch her until she comes to you. I get the "dogs love me!" and then they bug her and she barks/growls and then runs to hide behind me. They do not even get it when I tell them she is a shelter dog, was likely abused and is skittish.
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Post by Guest on Wed Jan 07, 2015 5:00 pm

My golden actually adores people. We've gone to the dog park many times and he spends more time chilling with other owners than other dogs. He always wants to be the center of attention too, so he'll cut into other people and their dogs, or us when we're tryna pet the other two little dogs we have. Still pretty funny pooch. :3

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Post by eselle28 on Wed Jan 07, 2015 5:37 pm

My cat is very much the same. She's very loving with people she knows, but it can take her a long time to decide to classify someone as a person she knows. I've had boyfriends and platonic friends who frequently slept at my place who have never even seen her.

I'm not concerned about people considering me a crazy cat lady, so I just explain that - like a lot of my human friends - she's an introvert who only gets to know people at her own pace. It probably helps that she reacts to people she doesn't want to socialize with by avoiding them, so there's not much temptation. I do have one friend who will try to track her down and will pull up the bed covers to see if she's under them. I maybe could have had a talk with her, but I was already inclined to invite her over less, so I just did that.
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Post by Guest on Wed Jan 07, 2015 7:09 pm

It's not exactly furred, but my maroon-bellied conure is very dodgy with new people.

He isn't particularly big, but he can give you one hell of a painful bite when he gets riled up. I just tell people to keep their distance. Because 'being good with birds!' isn't exactly a thing many people say, it usually works. Plus, it's easy to tell when he's in a grumpy mood.

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Post by azazel on Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:19 pm

reboot wrote:Funny thing is I run into people getting all over my dog even after I warn them that she is a bit shy and needs time to warm up to people, so please do not touch her until she comes to you. I get the "dogs love me!" and then they bug her and she barks/growls and then runs to hide behind me. They do not even get it when I tell them she is a shelter dog, was likely abused and is skittish.

Whhhhyyyy do people do this?

I'm addicted to dogs, and like to pet them on public transportation, but I always make sure to ask the owners first, exactly because they know their dog and I don't.

Reminds me of the time when someone asked if he could pick up my sister's rabbit I was babysitting. I told him no, she didn't like to be picked up.
When my back was turned he did it anyway, and had the gall to actually say "See? I can pick her up", just before she awkwardly tried to escape his arms and almost fell headfirst on a wooden floor. I somehow managed to catch her and let her make a controlled jump from less high. Still mad.

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Post by Werel on Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:51 pm

azazel wrote:
Reminds me of the time when someone asked if he could pick up my sister's rabbit I was babysitting. I told him no, she didn't like to be picked up.
When my back was turned he did it anyway, and had the gall to actually say "See? I can pick her up", just before she awkwardly tried to escape his arms and almost fell headfirst on a wooden floor. I somehow managed to catch her and let her make a controlled jump from less high. Still mad.

Reminds me of my old boss at the pet shop. Sometimes when somebody would pick up an animal, either without asking or after being told not to, he'd use the entirety of his 5'5" bulk to (try to) pick up the offender. "You like that? You like being picked up without permission? Get the fuck out of my store." rofl
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Post by InkAndComb on Thu Jan 29, 2015 12:05 pm

Thanks for all the responses! I'm so glad I'm not alone with this; I have a friend coming over soon who has shown cat-whisperer warning signs so I'll try to apply a lot of what you all have suggested.

On another note, I can't stop thinking of someone trying to get picked up now thanks to Werel xD I would love to try this myself if I had the arm strength!
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