Porn Parody Thread(probably NSFW)

[BasedBuzzed]

So I recently started screwing around with Quest, a CYOA program, and mostly churned out some low-effort kink crap, and they want more. Since I can't for the life of me do this without a ton of le irony, I'm going to skew as many staple tropes as possible while still delivering, and there's probably no better crowd to skew obscure porn clichés than the crowd over here, feel free to toss up suggestions of what you'd like to see skewed in a game for once, or offer general mockery of chestnuts. It's vaguely mindcontrol/humanoid monster variety(yes, I know, I have pleb tastes), for what it's worth.

Brainstorm ideas so far:
-A scene in which the solution to winning the heart of a creature with ridiculous mammaries is finding a cure for its chronic backpain.
-A mandatory trip to the magical equivalent of an STI clinic halfway through the story.
-An old demon(gender doesn't matter) who has made so many notches in the bedposts that the bed collapses halfway through the act.
-A sexbot that spews out garbled cliché porn dialogue, f. ex. [I'LL INSERT MY FILTHY ROD A INTO YOUR GAPING SLOT B], [I AM SO LUBRICATED RIGHT NOW]
-A cupid that is a parody of OKC questions(Do you think people with lower IQs should be chemically castrated by people in jackboots? Do you think catgirls have an obligation to shave their legs?)
-An Avatar-esque denizen that is campaigning against the term "blue balls".
-An encounter in which high heels are worn into the bed and ruin the sheets.

[azazel]

- An epic boss fight where you have to fight the reincarnation of king Leonidas with your cock, because it's the only weapon you have right on hand?

- A witch stole your dick, you have to get it back through an epic quest, at the end of which you have to choose which dick belonged to you, and when you choose one that's too big, you get a "you chose... poorly" bad ending?

- You're an amazonian warrior battling the hordes of Aaargh, with your famous head-crushed-between-thighs-no-jutsu?

-You're a athlete looking to bulk up and therefore want to find as many men to have sex with as possible to get enough protein to bulk up?

[nearly_takuan]

-A cupid that is a parody of OKC questions(Do you think people with lower IQs should be chemically castrated by people in jackboots? Do you think catgirls have an obligation to shave their legs?)

If you turn a left-handed condom inside-out, where does it fit?

[Hirundo Bos]

- An epic boss fight where you have to fight the reincarnation of king Leonidas with your cock, because it's the only weapon you have right on hand?

Oh! Oh oh. That brings to mind the penis god Priapus, who have been known to use said body part as a club. Would he be a suitable character in a game?

[Conreezy]

-A cupid that is a parody of OKC questions(Do you think people with lower IQs should be chemically castrated by people in jackboots? Do you think catgirls have an obligation to shave their legs?)

If you turn a left-handed condom inside-out, where does it fit?

To build on this:

A male character has to choose to wear a ribbed condom for her pleasure or turn it inside-out for his own.

[nonA]

And of course there are the classic porn plots.

Having to find your wallet in a post-orgy disaster zone, because the pizza delivery person is (gay/ace/broke/whatever) and really just wants the money, thanks.

[The Wisp]

-A cupid that is a parody of OKC questions(Do you think people with lower IQs should be chemically castrated by people in jackboots? Do you think catgirls have an obligation to shave their legs?)

If you turn a left-handed condom inside-out, where does it fit?

Obviously it becomes a right-handed female condom.

[BobTheNinja]

You've GOT to have a scene with the skeletal remains of guys who have been sexed to death by an insatiable monster girl.