Depression and dating

Page 9 of 9 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:33 pm

I did that a couple times. One of my matches had a Hyrulean crest tattoo, so I commented and complimented her on that, then asked if she had played Breath of the Wild. No response. The other time, the girl was wearing a cute bunny-girl outfit in her pictures, so I complimented her on that, then asked if she'd like to do something casual later this week. Again, no response. Or, I suppose there was a response of some kind: She unmatched me.

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 118
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Werel on Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:48 pm

Yeah, that's just the nature of Tinder; you can send the most charming message ever and still get no reply/unmatched, because at the end of the day it's just strangers deciding whether or not they feel like interacting with a random stranger. Persistence, practice, and patience are key in an activity where nothing comes of it 90% of the time. Good luck!
avatar
Werel
Moderator of "Meeting People and Dating Advice"

Posts : 1700
Reputation : 913
Join date : 2014-09-25

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:54 pm

I feel like if this streak of bad luck keeps up, I might have to step away from Tinder like I did a few other things. I just know that having a lot of failed connections is going to make me feel terrible Sad

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 118
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Sun May 07, 2017 7:27 pm

I still haven't had any luck on either OKCupid or Tinder lately. It seems like this whole online dating thing is just not for me, unfortunately... Which makes me feel absolutely terrible, because I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to do to meet people given my (somewhat) unique circumstances and problems Sad

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 118
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Mon May 22, 2017 11:12 am

Is anyone around? I need someone to talk to Sad

Yet *another* one of my friends is getting married. This time, the friend in question is a lady that I went to middle school with, so she's around my age as opposed to being a few years older than me. I was, and still am, very happy for her, but it hurts knowing another friend of mine is getting married before I've even had my very first date, you know? I told her as much when the announcement came out, but I haven't heard anything back from her. Maybe that was a mistake...

And, to top it all off, OKCupid and Tinder still aren't panning out at all. My feeble attempts at online dating aren't working, and I still don't have a clue what I'm supposed to do to meet new people IRL, especially since I can't afford a car right now. I'm beginning to think that I'm not meant to be in a relationship, and that I'll have to live the rest of my life alone...

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 118
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Enail on Mon May 22, 2017 12:57 pm

Sorry you've been getting the "everyone's getting married" feels, those kinds of things are tough. If a little cynicism helps any, statistics say some of the marriages won't work out, so it's not some kind of "last one in's a rotten egg" thing where no one is ever single again Wink  

In the future, I think it probably isn't a great idea to reply to peoples' marriage announcements with the fact that it makes you sad. Part of being a friend is cheering on their happiness, even though you're definitely not the only person to feel things other than happy about friends' good news (I had a big run of feeling like that about a variety of good news for a few years), that's something that's usually best shared with other people or at least left for a more personal, nuanced conversation later on if it seems like they'd be open to hearing it.

Are you still going to your boardgame meetup? If you have some time and energy, maybe it'd be worth adding in some other activities of that sort, both for more chances to meet people and less free time to dwell.
avatar
Enail
Admin

Posts : 3149
Reputation : 1470
Join date : 2014-09-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Mon May 22, 2017 4:24 pm

Yeah, things have been rough lately. I don't even get to see my therapist this week either, so I don't have many people to talk to about this.

I think I'm going to give my friend an apology sometime today. It was wrong of me to force my feel-bads into her happy times, and even though I know she gets this stuff herself (she's also depressed, so she's a fair bit more in tune with mental illness struggles) it wasn't okay for me to basically say "I'm happy for you, but..."

In other news, yeah, I'm still doing my board game nights. My work schedule has increased lately, though, so the only days I'm currently not doing anything on are the weekend. I've been trying to pay attention to local events going on around me on Saturday and Sunday, but so far not much has come up - at least, along the lines I'm looking for. I think I might have to go drastically outside the box, and that thought scares me Sad

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 118
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Tue Jun 06, 2017 1:51 am

So, things haven't really changed over the last couple weeks. I gave my friend an apology for forcing my issues into her engagement announcement, and she replied by saying that she hadn't even read my message to her until then because she was so swamped with other messages. So, I guess that's one of the best outcomes I could hope for.

Unfortunately, my attempts at OLD aren't going well at all. I had a couple conversations going for a while, but they stopped responding weeks ago. They stopped responding well before I got around to asking them out to meet up in person... *sigh* Sad

In other news, my therapist has me working on a couple fitness routines in addition to my self-care routines. He has me taking a brisk walk every day, which I'm perfectly fine with, but he also wants me doing 20 sit-ups a day, and that's been really difficult. I'm just so out of shape, I don't know if I can keep up with what my therapist is going to want me to do later on.

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 118
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Prajnaparamita on Wed Jun 07, 2017 5:52 pm

ReploidArmada wrote:
In other news, my therapist has me working on a couple fitness routines in addition to my self-care routines. He has me taking a brisk walk every day, which I'm perfectly fine with, but he also wants me doing 20 sit-ups a day, and that's been really difficult. I'm just so out of shape, I don't know if I can keep up with what my therapist is going to want me to do later on.

Reploid, yesterday I had something of a confrontation with my therapist, because I had felt previously like she wasn't really behind me in my goal of working to go to grad school. Her response to me was that her getting behind my goals was kind of irrelevant, she works for me and if I have a goal for myself or my future, whatever it is, her job is to help me achieve that and overcome the obstacles in my way. I want to stress that again--your therapist works for you, not the other way around. Your therapist is not your parent or your teacher or some kind of authority you have to unquestioningly obey. They work for you, to find a way forward in your life that personally fits. If something feels not right for you, like its too much or too little, you are not just allowed to, but expected to speak up and let them know that. Because its about finding what is effective for you, and that can't be done unless you're upfront about what does and doesn't work.

If you're afraid that what he's asking of you right now is too much, or that you can't handle what might be coming next, you need to speak up! Your body, your health and hell, even just the ability to feel like you're set up for success, not failure matter to your therapist. You're the one in control here.
avatar
Prajnaparamita

Posts : 375
Reputation : 209
Join date : 2015-02-05

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Wed Jun 07, 2017 6:39 pm

Thanks for stressing that, Prajna. I have an appointment with my therapist later today, so I'll bring up that I feel like he's pushing me too hard for my fitness and activity levels. I do need to get in shape, hopefully sooner rather than later, but right now I have enough to worry about without over-exerting myself.

ReploidArmada

Posts : 118
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Werel on Wed Jun 07, 2017 7:13 pm

Reploid, I second what Prajna's saying, but also want to say one thing re: being super out of shape and easing back into it.
fitness stuff if you want to read it:
IME, the key is to find something you actually like doing. Sounds totally obvious, but sit-ups aren't necessarily fun for most people--would you be less intimidated/annoyed by more walking, or dancing, or swimming, or something else? I'm in terrible shape (grad school = DESTROY YR BODY), but somewhat less terrible than a year ago, and that's cause I decided to start doing stuff that wasn't Fitness Gym Things, but pure physical fun (snorkeling, dancing, long walks, add weed as necessary if that's your bag). Make it pleasant, not miserable, and you actually might keep at it. Moving your body can be fun, I swear, as one couch potato to another. Smile
avatar
Werel
Moderator of "Meeting People and Dating Advice"

Posts : 1700
Reputation : 913
Join date : 2014-09-25

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Page 9 of 9 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum