Depression and dating

Page 12 of 12 Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 10, 11, 12

Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:03 am

I'm back from my first date with Sarah. It went... okay, I guess. I had a decent time at least, but she said she (also) didn't feel a romantic spark, and didn't want to continue seeing me. I know I shouldn't feel too bad about this, but I can't help it. For the longest time, I was rendered unable to date for completely BS reasons, and now that I am able to date, life seems content to make sure I don't find anyone worthy of a relationship. Either people don't really want to date me, like Kaylie, or they do want to date me - but then don't want to follow through, like Sarah or Jen (the latter being a special case, for reasons detailed previously).

I feel like I'm back to square one again...

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 152
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Datelessman on Mon Apr 23, 2018 2:24 pm

I have to say I am pleased my Mel Brooks reference was appreciated before.

ReploidArmada wrote:I'm back from my first date with Sarah. It went... okay, I guess. I had a decent time at least, but she said she (also) didn't feel a romantic spark, and didn't want to continue seeing me. I know I shouldn't feel too bad about this, but I can't help it. For the longest time, I was rendered unable to date for completely BS reasons, and now that I am able to date, life seems content to make sure I don't find anyone worthy of a relationship. Either people don't really want to date me, like Kaylie, or they do want to date me - but then don't want to follow through, like Sarah or Jen (the latter being a special case, for reasons detailed previously).

I feel like I'm back to square one again...

Dating even under the best of circumstances for heavily experienced people will involve a lot of false positives, dates that never happen, ghosting, first dates where there is no connection for one or both parties, or even finding toxic people (as Jen was). It is, unfortunately, the name of the game. Doctor Nerdlove answered a letter today and I think some of his advice applies to your situation, so I am going to paste some of it here for you:
And yeah: you’re going to get hurt. The world’s full of sharp corners and steep drops, sometimes you’re going to run into them. Dating is no exception to this. Assholes are gonna ass, you can’t avoid that. But while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. And part of how you avoid suffering, especially as you avoid people who would just use you like your ex did, is that you learn to maintain and enforce your boundaries. You have to stand up for yourself, instead of just accepting anything that comes your way in the name of having a relationship. You have to be willing to say “this isn’t acceptable, and I won’t be treated like this” to bad behavior, even if it means losing the relationship. You have to be your own first, best line of defense.

But more than anything else: you have to let go of the identity that you’ve adopted. You have to let go of the fear that’s holding you back. You have to be willing to put yourself out there, even though you’re afraid, because you can’t date without making yourself vulnerable. You can protect yourself, sure; you don’t invest emotionally in someone immediately. You give it time to get to know them and see if they can show they’re worth investing in, just as you’re showing them that you are worth investing in.

At the end of the day though, there is no reward without risk and dating is about taking risks. You minimize the risks as best you can. You prepare for the worst, even as you expect the best. But you have to decide that the risks are worth the potential rewards.

And trust me: when you find someone who’s right for you, who you just click with? Who makes you feel like you’re coming home, even though you’ve only just gotten to know one another?

Then you’ll find it really is worth it.

Good luck.

From his article here: http://www.doctornerdlove.com/ask-dr-nerdlove-learn-to-trust-again/

Now I know this is not easy, especially coming from a position of relative dating inexperience. I acknowledge that the fact that your first lover with which you got to "fool around with" turned out to be a toxic and manipulative person doesn't make recovering and maintaining positive dating motivation any easier. Having been friends with many women, however, I will say that you are not alone in the realm of your first lover/relationship being toxic; I honestly can't count how many women I have known personally whose first romantic and/or sexual experiences were either toxic or even abusive. This is true for men as well. I say this not to try to make you feel bad or guilty, simply to remind you that as painful as it can feel, you are not alone and if anything it could be an area where you could sympathize with other people, or potentially someone may sympathize with you. While it is never good to dump your baggage on people, one of the factors which allows us to connect to people is understanding.

The best you can do, as maudlin as it sounds, is focus on the positive. The positive is that you have recovered quickly (or at least quicker than some) from your experience with Jen to date again. And you ARE getting attention and some first dates. First dates are all about confirming things in profiles and seeing if online chemistry or interest translates to in-person chemistry and interest mutually. Most of the time it will not for one or either party, and there is no way to avoid that unfortunately. I wish it were different; if it were I would date more myself, honestly. Ultimately while you shouldn't make dating an obsession and have other interests and hobbies in your life, there is no reward without risk and there will be more rejections and/or dates that don't "pan out" than there will be successes, whether someone is a virgin or if someone has had hundreds of lovers. You can look back at dates, maybe try to see if something worked or didn't work and adjust your approach, but your ability to land first dates (as well as interest) for them suggests that you definitely have a lot going right for you, and it is a matter of having the endurance to go through the slog to find someone with which there is a mutual connection. Give yourself credit for rebounding from your experiences with Jen, and give yourself credit for landing first dates, and try to keep the faith.
avatar
Datelessman

Posts : 90
Reputation : 48
Join date : 2017-06-29

View user profile https://datelessman.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by K-J on Sat May 12, 2018 8:24 am

Reploid, I don’t think you’re back at square one. You’re making bold attempts to find somebody. Sitting around idling, trying to amass the willpower or bravery to step outside, now THAT’s step one.

I feel like, when we try and it fails, we’re actually very warranted to feel raw for a while (but don’t get stuck in that ofc), whereas having done nothing while complaining would be learned helplessness and more unwarranted, but that’s not the spot you are in, right?

I think maybe now, your challenge is to 1. Start to fixate less on the hopeful outcome when on a date, and focus more on how good a connection you can strike between the two of you. When you can’t seem to find much of any, I hope it occurs to you like ”Hmm, maybe we don’t really match”, rather than, ”I’m failing!”

2. You might need a little fine tuning. When people say they don’t really feel it between you, it can either be because you’re too different (nothing wrong with that), but it can also happen when we hold ourself back a bit, don’t dare to try and ignite that spark, hit a warm emotional chord in our date, make them feel something. So idk, maybe it’s things like that you somewhat miss now and would benefit from learning.
It can be something as simple as looking him/her in the eyes, smile warmly and say ”I’m having a real good time now”. Part of attraction is something you must generate.

K-J

Posts : 23
Reputation : 22
Join date : 2016-10-10

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Sat May 26, 2018 6:27 pm

Since last I posted, I've been on two other first dates. Unfortunately for me, they didn't work out the way I had hoped.

First of those two was at Melting Pot with a woman named Ami. I had a wonderful time there, discovering that restaurant and her. But, it turns out she was looking for someone to help her foster kids in about a year, not someone who was trying to find their first girlfriend like I am. So, I wished her well and parted ways with her. That was about 3 weeks ago.

The other date was last Friday, at my favorite Italian restaurant with a woman named Amberlina. I thought that one went well too, although I was considerably nervous during said date, and not very forward with my advances. I thought she was interested in a second date too, but I got a text just now saying that she didn't think we clicked well enough for that.

I think I've been on four, maybe five, first dates so far and none of them have led to anything. They have all said that they didn't feel a connection or spark between us. I worry that the anti-failure part of my brain is going to kick in soon, and outright stop me from dating at all in order to insulate me from the failures I've been having. How do you guys cope with that? How do you guys deal with the idea that 99% of dates are failures from a romantic/sexual standpoint? I probably wouldn't care so much if enough people were interested in me that I could have more dates, but I can't. I don't have a lot of people who are interested in me.

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 152
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Datelessman on Mon May 28, 2018 2:34 pm

ReploidArmada wrote:Since last I posted, I've been on two other first dates. Unfortunately for me, they didn't work out the way I had hoped.

First of those two was at Melting Pot with a woman named Ami. I had a wonderful time there, discovering that restaurant and her. But, it turns out she was looking for someone to help her foster kids in about a year, not someone who was trying to find their first girlfriend like I am. So, I wished her well and parted ways with her. That was about 3 weeks ago.

The other date was last Friday, at my favorite Italian restaurant with a woman named Amberlina. I thought that one went well too, although I was considerably nervous during said date, and not very forward with my advances. I thought she was interested in a second date too, but I got a text just now saying that she didn't think we clicked well enough for that.

I think I've been on four, maybe five, first dates so far and none of them have led to anything. They have all said that they didn't feel a connection or spark between us. I worry that the anti-failure part of my brain is going to kick in soon, and outright stop me from dating at all in order to insulate me from the failures I've been having. How do you guys cope with that? How do you guys deal with the idea that 99% of dates are failures from a romantic/sexual standpoint? I probably wouldn't care so much if enough people were interested in me that I could have more dates, but I can't. I don't have a lot of people who are interested in me.

I can only tell you what others have told me, which is to focus on the fact that you have gotten first dates, and therefore you are appealing. Remember, contrary to what most MRA or PUA say, women don't go on a first date if they have ZERO interest in a man or feel there is ZERO potential. You clearly have something appealing enough to get first dates. And also that many times whether or not two people click may not always be deeply personal. Ami, for example, had a very specific sort of man she was looking for - a dude who was eager or willing to help raise a child in the near future. That wasn't you, but this also wasn't personal. "Whether or not someone wants children in the near future" is a fairly common deal breaker for many people, regardless of gender or orientation (especially for people dating in the late 20's and up, but it can be common at any age).

Perhaps it may help if you look at it from another perspective. If a woman just wasn't "feeling" you, just didn't like you enough to want to date you seriously, would you prefer the alternative to not taking you up on Date #2? Would you rather she go thru the motions of a second date, third date, even more, even though she really didn't care for you yet proceeded due to other reasons? Because someone who did do these things could be seen as manipulative at worst or less than honest at best, and in the long run it may not be something you'd like -- especially coming after a relationship where a woman was deliberately dishonest and manipulative.

Can you learn from them? Sure. On your second example you acknowledged you were nervous and not very forward. That is something to consider for another date - making it clear you're interested without going too far. It's a delicate balance. Or you could chalk it up to bad luck.

This bit stuck out to me:
I probably wouldn't care so much if enough people were interested in me that I could have more dates, but I can't. I don't have a lot of people who are interested in me.

According to your account, you've been on 3-5 dates since April. On the low end you're averaging 1-2 dates a month, and at times up to 3. Again, women had to be interested enough in you for you even to get a first date. Remember, for every dude who a woman decides to date for the first time, there likely were many more she went "nope" on who didn't even get that far -- same as for when you search for potentials. Unless you literally just IM or try to ask out every woman within your online or physical vicinity, akin to Boomhauer from "KING OF THE HILL"; I don't know your technique. So, is getting a date once every 10-30 days a ratio in which you can personally consider yourself being a person who women are "interested" in? This is a personal question, but it may be worth asking yourself, or reminding yourself of.

I mean it's a matter of subjective perspective. From my perspective, someone who's had 3-5 dates since April (or March) despite self proclaimed romantic inexperience is doing just fine. But my perspective is coming from a dude whose last date took place before the election of Barack Obama. It may not match yours. But it may be worth exploring just exactly how you feel about that, especially from a detached perspective.

The numbers game is a grind, and it's not wrong to feel frustrated on occasion. If you even need to take a break for your sanity, that is also legitimate. Even "studs" go through cold spells. Ultimately, the most important person who has to judge or acknowledge your progress is you. Are there any friends you could ask? Sometimes we can be our own harshest judges.
avatar
Datelessman

Posts : 90
Reputation : 48
Join date : 2017-06-29

View user profile https://datelessman.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by K-J on Fri Jun 01, 2018 7:38 am

ReploidArmada wrote:I worry that the anti-failure part of my brain is going to kick in soon, and outright stop me from dating at all in order to insulate me from the failures I've been having. How do you guys cope with that? How do you guys deal with the idea that 99% of dates are failures from a romantic/sexual standpoint?

It can be a risk yes, but there are things you can do so it doesn't have to be that way. The best would be to finally get rid of the entire narrative that you need that relationship, someone elses validation or any particular kind of life in order to already feel complete.
You can feel complete by yourself, and then there will be nothing you acutely lack. Your attempts will come from hope and inspiration rather than fear and desperation.
Eventually you will get into relationship just doing what you're doing now, but I think this is something which is much better to resolve before it starts. I know for a fact it's doable because I personally went through that, managed to adopt a better way of thinking before actually getting anywhere on the dating front.

It's not an easy thing to do, but if you do, it will get better. Since you've already started to make serious attempts, stepped out of your comfort zone several times, gone on dates and whatnot, I think it's a little easier. It's still a big, difficult step, changing that base narrative.

Other than that, I agree with Datelessman, the way you view time here is a bit skewed. You're finding date opportunities on a monthly basis but when one door shuts, it sounds like you think next shot may be years later or never?
It doesn't line up with reality, but at the same time, it can happen, maybe a few months here and there when no dating opportunities really exist for you.

What I recommend then is, find other things to do which doesn't really concern dating but in similar way forces you out of your comfort zone and is a step away from all familiar routines. If you never played sports, try something out. Go to bars and spontanously talk to people. Say yes to tag along to after parties.
Make friends that aren't typical for you because it challenges your thinking, will make you interesting and make for some good stories. You could spend time with kids or elderly people. I got friends over 70 and it seems to impress people when I talk about them, like I'm considered original and interesting. It wasn't part of any plan on my part, I just try to keep myself open so that life doesn't get predictable and boring.

K-J

Posts : 23
Reputation : 22
Join date : 2016-10-10

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Fri Jun 15, 2018 12:47 am

I haven't been on for a little while. I haven't been on any dates since my last one with Amberlina - there is a woman I'm interested in named Emily, but she's thankfully not the same Emily from before. Unfortunately, her and I haven't set up a date yet, and I don't really have the money right now to do anything major even if we did. Even more unfortunately, though, something else has popped up.

My dad's been dating a new GF lately, and at the time of me writing this, she's currently over at the house.

I feel bad about that for a couple reasons. First, although I don't mind him dating again, I don't like being embarrassed by the two of them. More importantly, though, it reminds me of my own failings trying to find a decent woman. I just want to find someone special... Someone to spend my time with...

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 152
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Datelessman on Fri Jun 15, 2018 2:53 pm

ReploidArmada wrote:I haven't been on for a little while. I haven't been on any dates since my last one with Amberlina - there is a woman I'm interested in named Emily, but she's thankfully not the same Emily from before. Unfortunately, her and I haven't set up a date yet, and I don't really have the money right now to do anything major even if we did. Even more unfortunately, though, something else has popped up.

My dad's been dating a new GF lately, and at the time of me writing this, she's currently over at the house.

I feel bad about that for a couple reasons. First, although I don't mind him dating again, I don't like being embarrassed by the two of them. More importantly, though, it reminds me of my own failings trying to find a decent woman. I just want to find someone special... Someone to spend my time with...

I've received advice that states that not all dates require a lot of money. A pre-date coffee date, for instance, can and should not cost more than a cup of something. And while a cup of a "Vente Latte Frappe El Dorado Shake" at a Starbucks or another place may not be McDonalds cheap, it shouldn't be too bad. But think of other options as well that match what you or Emily are into. Museums, any parks, any free or nearly free activities in your area? With the right person, even sitting on the stoop shooting the breeze can be great. If anything, it can showcase how creative you are and how interested you are versus a dude trying to bowl her over with dough, which many woman have seen more than once and can tell straight away. And some may like that, but then they're not for you. A lot of times when women describe an amazing guy, it isn't stuff like, "Omigod, we spent $200 on dinner and $100 at the club and $400 on drinks there and he has the nicest car" (again, there are people into that and they may not be your type), it's stuff like, "He remembered my favorite color and he gets me" or stuff like that. I mean, there's a reason that "semi-homeless artist/musician" is cliche boyfriend material in both art and real life, and it isn't because all of them are handsome studs.

As the son of a mother who was an ex-hippie and has had an active dating life until very recently, I feel your pain about your dad's new GF. Seeing your parent(s) date can be awkward for anyone. Try not to let it trigger you and remember you're not your father. I suppose you could turn it around and use it as evidence that dating isn't limited by age for those who are willing.
avatar
Datelessman

Posts : 90
Reputation : 48
Join date : 2017-06-29

View user profile https://datelessman.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Hielario on Sat Jun 23, 2018 10:09 am

Um, how much money do you usually spend. in a date, ReploidArmada?
avatar
Hielario

Posts : 50
Reputation : 12
Join date : 2018-03-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Sun Jun 24, 2018 3:11 am

The most I've spent on a date was about or a little higher than $80, I think? I've had a date or two run higher than that but we split the bill those times.

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 152
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Hielario on Tue Jun 26, 2018 10:48 am

Do you have dinner dates or something like that?

I'm not very experienced, but my few dates have never costed that much. And I always insist on paying if I've chosen the place.
avatar
Hielario

Posts : 50
Reputation : 12
Join date : 2018-03-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Datelessman on Tue Jun 26, 2018 11:34 am

It can depend on the area. For example in NYC, even a movie date (which is standard and boring) can cost almost $40 (or more) for two tickets if they're 3D/IMAX or so on. A dinner for two at a diner in NYC could easily reach $65-$85 without even ordering the most expensive stuff; a fancier restaurant they usually charge you an entire paycheck for a square inch of food on a square plate with half a pound of parsley on it.

I understand money is a concern for most people but obsessing too much on the costs of dates isn't always a good look. It is always best to budget. While "going Dutch" as it were is more common in our gig economy, it isn't unreasonable for the person who asks for the first date to pay, so budget accordingly. And again, people can be flexible. Many woman actually become insulted when a man insists on paying for everything.

Again, if money was everything, than "couch surfing musician/starving artist" wouldn't be boyfriend cliches.
avatar
Datelessman

Posts : 90
Reputation : 48
Join date : 2017-06-29

View user profile https://datelessman.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:59 pm

Again, I'm back after not having been on a single date since the last one I told you guys about, with Amberlina. This is why I feel like the worst is always going to happen to me. It's because it is currently happening to me. I've sent out a shotgun blast's worth of messages and likes on OKCupid, and not a single one of those people has replied back to me. At this point, I'm convinced that I am doomed to never have sex with anyone.

However, that's not the worst of it. I've been spending a lot of time on reddit, specifically the subreddit DirtyPenPals, in an attempt to at least roleplay a successful first date and subsequent loss of my virginity. That hasn't happened, either. About four, maybe five, different scenes have fallen through the cracks halfway through. With the last scene I tried to set up, it ended really early on because the woman said I creeped her out with something I said.

And you guys wonder why I'm so down and depressed about my (lack of a) social life all the time...

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 152
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Datelessman on Sun Jul 15, 2018 3:14 am

ReploidArmada wrote:Again, I'm back after not having been on a single date since the last one I told you guys about, with Amberlina. This is why I feel like the worst is always going to happen to me. It's because it is currently happening to me. I've sent out a shotgun blast's worth of messages and likes on OKCupid, and not a single one of those people has replied back to me. At this point, I'm convinced that I am doomed to never have sex with anyone.

However, that's not the worst of it. I've been spending a lot of time on reddit, specifically the subreddit DirtyPenPals, in an attempt to at least roleplay a successful first date and subsequent loss of my virginity. That hasn't happened, either. About four, maybe five, different scenes have fallen through the cracks halfway through. With the last scene I tried to set up, it ended really early on because the woman said I creeped her out with something I said.

And you guys wonder why I'm so down and depressed about my (lack of a) social life all the time...

It does sound like you've hit a wall for the moment in terms of dating. And you certainly have faced your share of bad luck.

The Reddit part sort of interests me, although I can't think of too many people who spent a lot of time on Reddit and turned out better for the experience. I usually considering their reputation to be a smidge above 4chan. I suppose roleplaying out romantic scenes could be interesting, although it looks like it didn't help. A part of me wonders if the time was right for it; you were going through some bad luck in dating IRL and then decided to try out doing it in "fantasy." If the RP's had gone well, a part of me wonders if it would have helped you, or felt like a tease. I've actually done some message board RPing for years, only more along the lines of fantasy/superhero games than anything erotic. There is a danger of living vicariously through it, which isn't good.

It sounds like it may be time to take a break if it is making you depressed and focus on other things, for the short term. Just to recharge your batteries and to try to get yourself out of a negative self loop. I've been depressed over being lonely too in my life, it's rarely healthy to wallow in it or pick at it for long.

Just what did you say that creeped that woman out?
avatar
Datelessman

Posts : 90
Reputation : 48
Join date : 2017-06-29

View user profile https://datelessman.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Hielario on Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:30 am

Yeah, I'm not surprised. There's something about the internet that makes a lot of people lazy and rude. In the moment they lose interest or get distracted, it's like you've never existed.
avatar
Hielario

Posts : 50
Reputation : 12
Join date : 2018-03-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Werel on Sun Jul 15, 2018 6:14 pm

Sorry you're feeling like you're back in a slump, Reploid. I do want to echo the perpetual refrain of "but you've come a long, long way in the last couple years!" The plateau you're at now isn't the same place you were in before you started treating your depression, going on dates, working, doing regular hobby activities, and having experiences with women.

I am curious about one thing:
With the last scene I tried to set up, it ended really early on because the woman said I creeped her out with something I said.
That might be some of the most helpful feedback you ever get from an online encounter, and there could be some really useful info for you there. It's really important to get data on what's not working in your approach. Did you get any specifics on what it was that bothered her?
avatar
Werel
Moderator of "Meeting People and Dating Advice"

Posts : 1916
Reputation : 1120
Join date : 2014-09-25

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:10 pm

I already deleted the conversation from Discord and half-way blocked it from my memory, but it was something like "I like the feel of your hand, though. It's so soft and warm... Mmm~"

She said it was something someone might write for a serial killer. >_>

_________________
If love truly is a game, mine was shipped without instructions

ReploidArmada

Posts : 152
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2015-01-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Werel on Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:16 pm

Huh, maybe that's not actually that helpful, cause I'm struggling to see the creepiness in it (as opposed to just, like... it is actually nice that hands are warm?). Maybe somebody else can help you find 'n fix the creep factor there, or maybe it's a lesson in "YMMV, some people will be bothered by stuff that doesn't bother other people." Laughing
avatar
Werel
Moderator of "Meeting People and Dating Advice"

Posts : 1916
Reputation : 1120
Join date : 2014-09-25

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Datelessman on Mon Jul 16, 2018 12:25 pm

ReploidArmada wrote:I already deleted the conversation from Discord and half-way blocked it from my memory, but it was something like "I like the feel of your hand, though. It's so soft and warm... Mmm~"

She said it was something someone might write for a serial killer. >_>

A shame you deleted it. While I am sure your best recollection of it is pretty accurate, we all have a negative bias. For example, in high school I wrote a love letter (literally) to a crush but never delivered it. My best recollection was that it was desperate and apologetic. But I am sure if I somehow saw it now (I threw it out over a decade ago), it probably wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

It could be subjective taste. The only thing I could suggest it maybe skim some romance novel segments to see how they describe things. Heck, I've had some women recommend men read a few of those in general, for some idea of what some women like, since romance novels are one of the few mediums which are mostly written by women for women.
avatar
Datelessman

Posts : 90
Reputation : 48
Join date : 2017-06-29

View user profile https://datelessman.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Hielario on Mon Jul 16, 2018 1:27 pm

Some people are creeped out by the most random things, I met one who said a picture of me was creepy becuse I was masked in it.
avatar
Hielario

Posts : 50
Reputation : 12
Join date : 2018-03-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Datelessman on Mon Jul 16, 2018 2:31 pm

Hielario wrote:Some people are creeped out by the most random things, I met one who said a picture of me was creepy becuse I was masked in it.

Well, for some people a mask is creepy. But of course it depends on context and location.

Mask at a con or Halloween event? Fine.

Mask at a Walgreens or IRS office? Not so fine.

Mask for a DMV photo? Hilarious.
avatar
Datelessman

Posts : 90
Reputation : 48
Join date : 2017-06-29

View user profile https://datelessman.wordpress.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Hielario on Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:46 am

It was a selfie in my carnival costume at night in some street. It was basically a white domino mask, a huge hat and my black trench.
avatar
Hielario

Posts : 50
Reputation : 12
Join date : 2018-03-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by The Mikey on Sun Jul 29, 2018 8:48 pm

Werel wrote:Huh, maybe that's not actually that helpful, cause I'm struggling to see the creepiness in it (as opposed to just, like... it is actually nice that hands are warm?). Maybe somebody else can help you find 'n fix the creep factor there, or maybe it's a lesson in "YMMV, some people will be bothered by stuff that doesn't bother other people." Laughing

I dunno, I understand how it could come off as creepy. Not saying it was since we know Reploid and we know that’s not his intention. I understand he was trying to flirt, but I also understand how that kind of message could come off via text.

Personally, I’d reserve that kinda comment for irl. Be easier to convey tone that way. :/ But hey! You’re doing way better than me, man. Smile
avatar
The Mikey

Posts : 7
Reputation : 3
Join date : 2018-07-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Depression and dating

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 12 of 12 Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 10, 11, 12

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum