Depression and dating

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Re: Depression and dating

Post by Hielario on Fri Jan 04, 2019 11:09 pm

OK, there's something that I'm not getting. How are you putting pressure on people?
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Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Sat Jan 05, 2019 12:15 am

Well, what's happening is that I'm putting a lot of my hopes and desires to be with someone into nearly every interaction I have with ladies, especially those I'm dating. That, in turn, raises the expectations I have for any given date to work out, and it puts a lot of pressure on the ladies I do end up dating. I wouldn't be surprised if those ladies sensed that and cut off ties with me after the first date simply because I was hoping for or expecting too much out of them.

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Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Tue Jan 08, 2019 2:52 am

I met with my therapist earlier today. I told him about my "doomsday clock" fear, the one where if I don't find a lover now then I never will. From what I can tell, he didn't really agree with my analysis of the situation, instead going into a long discussion about how what I'm doing / not doing (like not taking proper care of myself, not keeping my living space clean, etc.) was going to make me more undesirable than any perceived time pressure my mind is placing on myself. I tried to convince him that my mental state was also important, but he wasn't having any of it, even accusing me of putting up a facade for my dates and other social activities. I was able to speak my mind a little bit at the end of our session, though, and when I told him I needed him to have my back, he told me that he already did.

Still, I'm not sure what to do with him. I can try to trust that he's leading me down the right path, but I can't help but feel like he's ignoring the mental side of my mental illness...

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Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:21 pm

Sorry about posting three times in a row - I know some forums get upset about that - but I had a date last night! I feel like it actually went really well Grin

I met a woman named Katie on OKC, and after we shared likes she actually sent me the first message. We chatted for a while, and agreed on a large number of things, before I asked her out. She agreed wholeheartedly! I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to sing some karaoke. I told her I was up for that, and last night, we met up. She even got me a little flower as a date gift Smile

I had a lot of fun singing karaoke! It was my first time doing so, and I picked a few songs to sing. I sung Elton John - Crocodile Rock, and Chicago - You're the Inspiration. However, I also picked Earth, Wind, and Fire - September, and soon after I did so the host asked me and Katie if we were doing a duet! We happened to pick the same song to sing! Grin We both had a lot of fun singing our duet together. Another highlight from the night was that she said that "it felt right" when I held her hand for the first time.

We left the bar around 1am, and took a rideshare over to a 24 hour cafe and had some food. She put some Daft Punk on the jukebox - we're both very big fans of them - and we sung along to a few songs while we ate. After we were done, I asked her for a kiss, and she agreed - but I was going for a normal kiss, and she wanted to give a tongue kiss! We had a little laugh about that, and I wished her good night.

This was, probably, the first time I've been on a date and not just hoped it would work out well, but I think actually did. We're both into each other, we had a lot of fun, and we have a plan for future dates. I'm hopeful that this blossoms into something beautiful Smile

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Re: Depression and dating

Post by Datelessman on Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:54 pm

ReploidArmada wrote:Sorry about posting three times in a row - I know some forums get upset about that - but I had a date last night! I feel like it actually went really well Grin

I met a woman named Katie on OKC, and after we shared likes she actually sent me the first message. We chatted for a while, and agreed on a large number of things, before I asked her out. She agreed wholeheartedly! I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to sing some karaoke. I told her I was up for that, and last night, we met up. She even got me a little flower as a date gift Smile

I had a lot of fun singing karaoke! It was my first time doing so, and I picked a few songs to sing. I sung Elton John - Crocodile Rock, and Chicago - You're the Inspiration. However, I also picked Earth, Wind, and Fire - September, and soon after I did so the host asked me and Katie if we were doing a duet! We happened to pick the same song to sing! Grin We both had a lot of fun singing our duet together. Another highlight from the night was that she said that "it felt right" when I held her hand for the first time.

We left the bar around 1am, and took a rideshare over to a 24 hour cafe and had some food. She put some Daft Punk on the jukebox - we're both very big fans of them - and we sung along to a few songs while we ate. After we were done, I asked her for a kiss, and she agreed - but I was going for a normal kiss, and she wanted to give a tongue kiss! We had a little laugh about that, and I wished her good night.

This was, probably, the first time I've been on a date and not just hoped it would work out well, but I think actually did. We're both into each other, we had a lot of fun, and we have a plan for future dates. I'm hopeful that this blossoms into something beautiful Smile

That sounds wonderful! After all you've gone through, you're entitled to some happiness. I'm glad it went well for you and hope you and Katie have some fun adventures together! cheers
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Re: Depression and dating

Post by nearly_takuan on Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:41 pm

Yay! Glad you had a good night! I hope there are more to follow!
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Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:02 pm

I hope so too! We're currently planning on going out for dinner next Thursday night, the 17th. I also brought up doing a little "movie night" to watch some things we haven't seen in a while, and she said she was very interested in doing that. I'll probably invite her over to my place around date #4 or 5 to do that.

I don't want to rush into inviting her over to my place because she's demisexual, so she's not going to be sexually attracted to me until if/when we form a strong emotional connection. I'm fine with that, personally! I'd rather give myself to someone who's going to be my first girlfriend, anyway, and I've already told her about my lack of romantic/sexual experience. I think I brought it up as "I'm looking for my first girlfriend" and "I just haven't been able to have that experience" when we were talking about relationships and sex, respectively. She was more than okay with it! Smile

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Re: Depression and dating

Post by ReploidArmada on Sun Jan 20, 2019 2:59 am

I'm so happy right now!

We had our second date on Thursday night. Katie and I went out to dinner at my favorite local Italian restaurant. The dinner was rather tame, but after we finished our dinner, things got interesting. We had talked about French kissing each other, and I called it our "lessons" in French kissing because I wasn't used to giving them. After we got outside, she said "Are you ready for your first lesson?" and we French kissed. It was... amazing! We kissed a couple times more before we got into an Uber and went over to a nearby bar for more karaoke. Unfortunately, they weren't going to run it for another hour after we got there.

We gave each other another kiss and got into another Uber to go to a place in downtown called Star Karaoke. It was an interesting experience. It was Japanese-style karaoke, with rooms instead of an open stage, except most of the songs were Korean. There were a bunch of English songs available, though, so we sung those. I remember she sung Crazy In Love by Beyonce, Don't Stop Me Now by Queen, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga, and September by Earth, Wind, and Fire again. I was singing along to September with her, and when we finished, she nearly lunged over to me and French kissed me. Hard. I loved it so much, and she did too. We shared one more French kiss and parted ways for the night. When she got home, the first thing she told me was "Well, I'm super 'excited'. Good job." We spent the next hour and a half sexting back and forth~

Cut forward to today. She added me on Facebook, and I agreed to it as well. I noticed she added a "complicated relationship" status on her page, and sure enough, she asked "So when are we gonna be 'facebook official', eh?"

I responded "Honestly... Do you want to do that now? Because... I love you. I want to be with you."

Katie and I are now a couple! Grin Run in circles flail Grin

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Re: Depression and dating

Post by Datelessman on Sun Jan 20, 2019 5:26 am

That's terrific! I am so happy for you! It sounds like things are going very well between you and Katie, and I hope the two of you enjoy each other's time together!

It always does my heart proud to read about someone in our little community making it. Try not to overthink it, just enjoy it. Continue being your best self, learn, have fun, and make her as happy, if not happier, as she's made you. Thumbs-up
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Re: Depression and dating

Post by Werel on Sun Jan 20, 2019 1:55 pm

That's fantastic, Reploid! Super glad for you, and wishing y'all a lot of fun and happiness! Smile
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Re: Depression and dating

Post by Enail on Sun Jan 20, 2019 2:11 pm

Hey, that's awesome! Have fun with it!
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Re: Depression and dating

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