Surviving V-Day

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Post by reboot on Thu Feb 12, 2015 1:42 am

Because I have been so swamped with work (and never celebrated it when in a relationship), I totally missed that Valentine's was this week. I know this is a hard time for many and many folks have developed good ways of coping with the sads at this time.

I cannot give good advice because the holiday never effects me. I do know it is a good time for volunteering because there are many one off events you can join.
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Post by eselle28 on Thu Feb 12, 2015 1:46 am

I may not be spending the day alone this year (depending on the whims of my incredibly flaky ex-boyfriend), but I've spent more without a partner than with one. I know a lot of people make plans to spend the day with friends, but that hasn't always been an option for me, either. My favorite solution is new media - especially a new book or starting to binge watch a new TV series (new video games don't work as well for me, since I'm often frustrated rather than elated when learning how to play a game). I end up so wrapped up in discovery that I don't spend much time thinking about my relationship status.
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Post by The Wisp on Thu Feb 12, 2015 1:47 am

Oddly I'm really not that bummed out about it this year, though maybe I'll feel differently the day of. To be honest, the past few years New Year's Eve has been more of a downer for me than Valentine's Day.

I felt much more depressed on the day in high school, where I couldn't avoid girls with flowers/chocolates/teddy bears and couples holding hands and making out in the hallways. But, I'm in college now (where students have dorms/apartments to be all affectionate in, and PDAs are rarer plus easier to avoid), and besides it's on a Saturday this year, so I can probably easily avoid it.

I would say, though, that the one thing I do to help cope is to avoid shopping in person in the days leading up to and on the day itself. If you must shop, be in and out as fast as possible. Otherwise, I try to make it as ordinary of a day as possible, that way can mostly let myself forget that it is even Valentine's Day.
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Post by BasedBuzzed on Thu Feb 12, 2015 9:04 am

Browse /a/ for the threads about celebrating V-day with your waifu/husbando if you have a moment to spare: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1m3sIuK3us&layer_token=e73857b0e0561f17&src_vid=H1m3sIuK3us&feature=iv&annotation_id=annotation_568187

Not for the "hahaha, pathetic weebs" sentiment, but because they're full of sardonic self-deprecation and shittalking that puts the whole holiday into perspective in a way that can be more effective for some than well-meant reassurances. Als, your unrequited crush will most likely be far less intimidating and unreachable than murderous highschoolers and slick assassins.

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Post by Caffeinated on Thu Feb 12, 2015 12:45 pm

Story time from way back when I was a freshman in high school. I didn't have a boyfriend and was worried about coming to school and feeling bad around all the couples, so I decided to celebrate in my own way. I wore my cutest dress (I still remember that dress, it was mid-calf length, had pale green and cream stripes, little cap sleeves, lace at the hem and neckline, and the neckline was a bit lower than I would normally wear so I felt very daring), bought a bag of candy and a package of red foil heart-shaped stickers, and all day at school that day I gave everyone I knew a big smile, wished them a happy valentines day, and offered them candy and a sticker. It was fun. That's the kind of goofy kid I was.
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Post by StrangePanda on Thu Feb 12, 2015 1:17 pm

Well, I'm close to my mid-term exams so I will be studying this Saturday. I'm celebrating my love of Sciences ! Razz
I know a lot of single people who will drink with their friends and / or go clubbing or at a bar. Actually, almost all of my friends are single so it's easier for me to avoid feeling depressed because hey, everybody's in the same boat! I think in my twenties I feel less pressure for spending Valentine's Day with a boyfriend than, say, in high school when it was new to everybody and people bragged about the "fantastic and romantic evening my boyfriend / girlfriend did for me!".

it's a good day to celebrate your love for yourself because you are the only one person who will be in your life for all your time being. If I have time this weekend I will do something nice for myself because I struggle with self-love and it's something I should work on.

Anyway, I wish you, dear nerdloungers,  to not be sad  and to do at least one nice thing for yourself this Saturday (if you're single or even if you don't) *hugs*

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Post by Guest on Thu Feb 12, 2015 1:23 pm

Caffeinated wrote:Story time from way back when I was a freshman in high school. I didn't have a boyfriend and was worried about coming to school and feeling bad around all the couples, so I decided to celebrate in my own way. I wore my cutest dress (I still remember that dress, it was mid-calf length, had pale green and cream stripes, little cap sleeves, lace at the hem and neckline, and the neckline was a bit lower than I would normally wear so I felt very daring), bought a bag of candy and a package of red foil heart-shaped stickers, and all day at school that day I gave everyone I knew a big smile, wished them a happy valentines day, and offered them candy and a sticker. It was fun. That's the kind of goofy kid I was.

Awww, Caff! That's so cute! It legit warms my heart. :3

Valentine's for me has usually been just another day. Last year I was pretty sour about it but that's because I had gotten a rejection a few days before it. So, naturally I was sad, angry and hurt. Being unsuccessful a few days before Valentine's isn't very helpful. Razz

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Post by Enail on Thu Feb 12, 2015 1:23 pm

Caffeinated, I like that!  I'm of the opinion that the only kind of Valentine's day celebrating worth doing is the grade school-style, 'eat lots of cheap, crappy candy and give everyone in your class a cheesy card' kind.
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Post by caliseivy on Thu Feb 12, 2015 2:19 pm

Enail wrote:Caffeinated, I like that!  I'm of the opinion that the only kind of Valentine's day celebrating worth doing is the grade school-style, 'eat lots of cheap, crappy candy and give everyone in your class a cheesy card' kind.

I wasn't in grade school when this was being done, but if I'm not able to go out with my sisters then I will definitely be crushing chocolate and wiping out video game armies.
StrangePanda's recommendation of self-love is definitely worth trying out too Smile
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Post by Prajnaparamita on Thu Feb 12, 2015 3:51 pm

Yeah, I guess what I'd suggest is to not see it as "either I'm in a super lovey-dovey relationship and have an amazingly romantic date or its totally horrible." I'm in a somewhat new relationship, six months now, and we're still really passionate, and I can pretty much guarantee we're not going to doing anything Valentine's Day, let alone see each other. He works nearly full time, (as well as in school full time) and the restaurant is one of those nicer places that gets packed on weekends and designated romantic holidays like this one, so he's most likely going to be working overtime there. I could maybe see him in the morning, but I think he'd honestly prefer the chance to sleep in and maybe catch up on homework.

Besides, the two of us are about the least romantically inclined people on the face of the earth, so I suspect the purchase of flowers on either of our parts would result in Side-eye and "Severed plant genitalia? Are you trying to tell me something?"

It'll be just another Saturday for me I suspect, spent eating, sleeping, reading comic books and hearing from my forum buddies Grin

So yeah, I know its branded as couples' day, and you're supposed to spend it with your special someone celebrating how wonderful your relationship is and all that tosh, but wonderful relationships don't come from designated must spend money days, and as far as I can tell what you do or don't do has absolutely no bearing on who you are or how great your life or relationship is.

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Post by Gman on Thu Feb 12, 2015 5:07 pm

Well, to me this time, unlike the other V-days of past (the times when I didn't really care about this day) it's kind of a mixed bag. On one hand I am remembering my ex a lot and getting a bit sad about it - but on the other hand I realize that I'm doing pretty good all in all. 
Probably going to dance tommorrow night (even though a lot of the regulars won't be there due to a small weekend festival going on that I am not attending). So I'll probably be around other single people like me anyway, so it's actually a great way to remind myself that there are plenty of people like me that are going to be there and that it's not that bad anyway. If there is one thing that can heal almost any pain that I have, it's dancing :-)

Besides - come 3rd of March, I am going to dance my ass off in a Bachata Dance Festival in Milano! So excited for this it isn't even funny. So I'm not too worried about V-Day this year:-)
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Post by InkAndComb on Thu Feb 12, 2015 5:20 pm

I have a lovely group of friends I've become closer with that dub themselves the Fangirls, and on Vday at the Fangirl Fortress I will be surprising peoples with fandom-related cards.

On another note, I think this will be the first valentine's day without me being anxious/sad before it happens. Even when I had a partner, usually this was the holiday that had a lot of fights and crushed hopes of a datenight. This year? not so much :3 I can finally put my Bridget Jones dvd extended and uncut addition back into the box for a year.

....On second thought, I'm bringing them to the party with some box wine. Gotta keep it classy!
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Post by Prajnaparamita on Thu Feb 12, 2015 6:17 pm

Oooh, oooh I have a story! I didn't used to tell stories like this here, because I didn't want to exactly broadcast what fairly well-known small all-female liberal arts college I attended, but now that I'm no longer there and am likely never returning I don't exactly care because its not like you're going to be (likely) able to track me down from a student roster from years ago.

Plus just under two thousands women living together in close conditions under high stress and good percentage not getting laid makes for some hilarious stories, once you leave and realize how absurd that whole world was.

Anyway, on Valentine's Day some of the houses would hold "Porn and Chicken" parties, where they'd play gay porn on the tv in the common area and have buffalo wings and dip for all those lonelyhearts.

One year my Japanese study buddies and I were discussing plans for Valentine's day, and tittering about the concept of Porn and Chicken night when one of the girls in our group sighed and said "Yeah, I've gone to Porn and Chicken night a couple of years now. The first 30 minutes are fun, but after an hour and you're one of the only ones still there, it just gets sad... Plus you feel totally gross after all those wings."

So we decided that we would find a more wholesome way to spend Valentine's Day, and settled on "Tofu and Miyazaki" night. First we all went out to an Asian noodle bowl place (the tofu was in reference to most of us being vegetarian, and everyone else giving it a try) then went to the local Cineplex and saw the latest Studio Ghibli movie to come stateside (I forget the name, but it was the one based off "The Borrowers") and had a wonderful time.

All of which is to say, if fancy dinner date night isn't your thing, or isn't in the cards at the moment, it's an excellent time to find a way to get together with friends and do something you'll really enjoy!
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Post by TheRoux on Thu Feb 12, 2015 7:50 pm

My february 14 will be spent home alone, trying to recover from this stupid flu I caught 3 weeks ago that my doc says I just gotta wait it out, eating cereals and watching Doctor Who.

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Post by Guest on Thu Feb 12, 2015 9:33 pm

Well, I have work. And it's the one year anniversary of when I got my current job. And Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate and Majora's Mask 3D come out then.

So, I'm set. V-Day never really bothered me at all, but it's not a huge thing in Australia in the first place. I remember last year my Dad and I went to the pub when they were having their Valentines Day dinner specials for couples and we kept the bar staff sane. Razz

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Post by Herr R on Thu Feb 12, 2015 10:30 pm

I'm grateful that I'll be working that day. And like Pranja's boyfriend, it's in a busy restaurant, so I'll be too busy cursing under my breath at the servers for throwing their shit everywhere, the kitchen staff for thinking I'm their kitchen serf who should be expected to drop everything at their beck and call and my bosses for scheduling me to work the evening shift, only to come back at 7 am the next day. Definitely grateful that I'll be too busy and away from the couples everywhere.

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Post by gaboz on Fri Feb 13, 2015 12:34 pm

I got Majora's mask so i'm good

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Post by Jayce on Sat Feb 14, 2015 3:22 am

Well I cried today, but not because it I'm sad its Valentines Day. I was on Facebook and I saw some of my friends posting statuses lamenting Valentines day and I was like to myself, hey why don't I feel really super bummed out about this? I know I did last year. Then I came to the conclusion that it's because I'm used to screwing up and failing and this was just another one of those times I haven't succeeded. I remembered all those times that people bullied me as a kid for being a bit overweight, or told me how lame and nerdy I was, or my parents telling me I was useless to this world and to go kill myself and told me that the kitchen knife was right there, or people ignoring me, and not having any other people to support my emotional wellbeing, not even friends. Those memories brought tears to my eyes, I struggled so hard and failed so many times to try to succeed academically, getting people at school and my family to stop picking on me, making friends or even talk to people. But I realized I'm really glad I've been able to make it past this far despite not being very good at anything, and still haven't given up yet.

I liked telling myself that I've made it this far and I can still keep going and make things better for myself, and where I am right now isn't a big deal.

Also, what really felt super good was that over the past months I've made serious attempts to get further in dating, while I didn't succeed, I did a lot of what I could do, and I don't mind being single as long as I keep trying, I'd rather be patient and keep looking for someone who feels mutually compatible with me than to date someone just because I don't want to be alone on Valentines Day.

Today felt pretty great!

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Post by nearly_takuan on Sat Feb 14, 2015 10:56 pm

Sure, let's all go to a restaurant tonight with our least favorite ancestor. That sounds like fun.

Never mind what I said earlier about being glad this was happening on a weekend.
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Post by The Wisp on Sat Feb 14, 2015 11:10 pm

Ouch, Nearly, I hope you can cope with that alright Sad
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