The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Page 18 of 35 Previous  1 ... 10 ... 17, 18, 19 ... 26 ... 35  Next

Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by jcorozza on Sun Jun 07, 2015 6:38 am

What are the things that you're passionate about? Why did you choose to study political science? Any particular type of humor?
jcorozza
jcorozza

Posts : 460
Reputation : 191
Join date : 2015-03-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Dannyboy on Wed Jun 10, 2015 3:52 am

Well, I finally bit the bullet and made a profile: https://www.okcupid.com/profile/King_of_suburbia

I want to pu my best foot forward, so feel free to harsh in your criticisms of my profile.


Last edited by Dannyboy on Wed Jun 10, 2015 4:43 am; edited 1 time in total

Dannyboy

Posts : 124
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2015-06-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by BasedBuzzed on Wed Jun 10, 2015 4:23 am

Link needs to be more specific.

_________________
Pompeii, VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1904: "O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin."
BasedBuzzed
BasedBuzzed

Posts : 811
Reputation : 267
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Dannyboy on Wed Jun 10, 2015 4:43 am

BasedBuzzed wrote:Link needs to be more specific.

Sorry about that, should be fixed now.

Dannyboy

Posts : 124
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2015-06-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by jcorozza on Wed Jun 10, 2015 6:36 am

A few thoughts:

You can cut the entire first paragraph (other than the first sentence). It's all info that comes up elsewhere/doesn't need to be there. There are a couple of minor typos, so do a run through to clear those out. (And yay, Blankets! One of my favorite! Also, did you know that they turned Fun Home into a Broadway musical? So bizarre).

You need a few more pictures, preferably ones with you smiling or doing something interesting, like one of your hobbies. The ones you have right now aren't bad, per se, but they're all pretty serious, and some variety would be ideal.

That line about the dick pics cracked me up. I'm just picturing you holding up a score card each time you get one.
jcorozza
jcorozza

Posts : 460
Reputation : 191
Join date : 2015-03-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Dannyboy on Wed Jun 10, 2015 7:16 am

jcorozza wrote:A few thoughts:

You can cut the entire first paragraph (other than the first sentence).  It's all info that comes up elsewhere/doesn't need to be there.  There are a couple of minor typos, so do a run through to clear those out.  (And yay, Blankets!  One of my favorite!  Also, did you know that they turned Fun Home into a Broadway musical?  So bizarre).  

You need a few more pictures, preferably ones with you smiling or doing something interesting, like one of your hobbies. The ones you have right now aren't bad, per se, but they're all pretty serious, and some variety would be ideal.  

That line about the dick pics cracked me up.  I'm just picturing you holding up a score card each time you get one.  

Gotcha, I just delete the excess you mentioned that up. I'm a bit afraid to put up smiling picture because, well, I have a sociopath smile, its hard to find good smiling pics of me.

Actually I just heard about the Fun Home musical today, myself. I don't know, if it comes to my city I'll probably have to watch it, but I have no idea how they're going to translate a rather sober investigation of a closeted gay man's relationship to his daughter into a musical. Thanks for complimenting the joke, took my hours to figure out.

Dannyboy

Posts : 124
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2015-06-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Caffeinated on Wed Jun 10, 2015 12:50 pm

Dannyboy wrote:Well, I finally bit the bullet and made a profile: https://www.okcupid.com/profile/King_of_suburbia

I want to pu my best foot forward, so feel free to harsh in your criticisms of my profile.

It's a great profile. You're funny, readable, and engaging. Reading it gives a good sense of who you are and who you're looking for, and makes it seem like it would be fun to meet you. I agree with jcorozza that you could use a little more variety in your photos. The ones you have now all read as a combination of senior class portrait and book jacket author photo. The good thing about that is that it lets people know what you look like, but it is a little static. My advice for at least one additional photo would be an outdoor action shot in the mountains hiking.
Caffeinated
Caffeinated

Posts : 455
Reputation : 273
Join date : 2014-12-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Dannyboy on Wed Jun 10, 2015 9:32 pm

So I was talking with this girl on Ok Cupid for a while and then she said this:

So this app is absolute poop on my phone so if you'd want you can text me [number]

Does it sound to you guys like I'm starting to bore her, am I not being...flirty enough? I don't know, i'm so inexperienced with this.


Last edited by Dannyboy on Wed Jun 10, 2015 11:32 pm; edited 1 time in total

Dannyboy

Posts : 124
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2015-06-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by nearly_takuan on Wed Jun 10, 2015 10:29 pm

It sounds to me like her carrier is more efficient at delivering SMS than data. It also sounds to me like she wants you to send her a text. I could speculate further on what else that means, but I doubt it's important here.

My experience has been that when you're boring "her", "she" just blocks you and stops responding.
nearly_takuan
nearly_takuan

Posts : 1069
Reputation : 456
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by readertorider on Wed Jun 10, 2015 11:31 pm

It also might be a good idea to not post people's numbers on anonymous forums? Wink

But yes, if someone gives you a method of contacting them it probably means they want to be contacted...
readertorider
readertorider

Posts : 155
Reputation : 58
Join date : 2014-10-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Wondering on Wed Jun 10, 2015 11:39 pm

Edit: readertorider beat me to it, and it's edited now, so never mind! Smile

Wondering

Posts : 1117
Reputation : 436
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Caffeinated on Wed Jun 10, 2015 11:51 pm

Dannyboy wrote:So I was talking with this girl on Ok Cupid for a while and then she said this:

So this app is absolute poop on my phone so if you'd want you can text me [number]

Does it sound to you guys like I'm starting to bore her, am I not being...flirty enough? I don't know, i'm so inexperienced with this.

Bore her? Nope. Sounds like she's moving closer to you, not farther away. Good sign.
Caffeinated
Caffeinated

Posts : 455
Reputation : 273
Join date : 2014-12-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by jcorozza on Thu Jun 11, 2015 12:20 am

Yeah, she wouldn't give her number if she was boring you on a dating site - it's not like IRL where that might help to get you to leave her alone. That means she wants to progress towards talking more/maybe meeting in person.
jcorozza
jcorozza

Posts : 460
Reputation : 191
Join date : 2015-03-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Dannyboy on Thu Jun 11, 2015 12:43 am

Thanks for the help guys! Yeah, I deleted her phone number, don't know what I was thinking there.

Well, I posted my account on reddit and they seem to have found the "dick pic" joke to be off putting and they suggested that I shouldn't list games in my interests. Do you guys agree, should I delete those parts?

I also put some less professional, more recent pictures on, I hope this is what you guys meant by more candid.

Dannyboy

Posts : 124
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2015-06-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by jcorozza on Thu Jun 11, 2015 12:53 am

I'm not sure reddit is the best place to be getting feedback for this kind of thing...why do they think you shouldn't list games?

I like the dick pic joke, partly because it's funny, but also because it shows that you're aware that guys actually do that shit, and that it is something to be made fun of (and to me that would signal that you're less likely to send one yourself).
jcorozza
jcorozza

Posts : 460
Reputation : 191
Join date : 2015-03-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by BobTheNinja on Thu Jun 11, 2015 12:55 am

Dannyboy wrote:Thanks for the help guys! Yeah, I deleted her phone number, don't know what I was thinking there.

Well, I posted my account on reddit and they seem to have found the "dick pic" joke to be off putting and they suggested that I shouldn't list games in my interests. Do you guys agree, should I delete those parts?

I also put some less professional, more recent pictures on, I hope this is what you guys meant by more candid.
I'm gonna go with no on the "delete games" suggestion. If that's something you genuinely like to do, why take it off? Some ladies may not be into it, but I bet that plenty of others will.
BobTheNinja
BobTheNinja

Posts : 46
Reputation : 6
Join date : 2015-03-31

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by reboot on Thu Jun 11, 2015 9:09 am

I think it depends if you would like to catch the eye of a woman who games/gaming friendly or not. If you do not list gaming as an interest you might end up meeting people who think gaming is stupid/for kids/a waste of time. It really depends on who you want to meet.
reboot
reboot
Moderator of "Other Relationships" and "Gender, Identity and Society"

Posts : 2514
Reputation : 1005
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Dannyboy on Thu Jun 11, 2015 6:56 pm

Okay, I've been messaging other girls because I'm too nervous to text that one girl right now. I was wondering if I'm approaching messaging the right way, here's an example:

Gutentag! I just finished reading your profile and decided you seems like a pretty cool person to message, I don't often meet people willing to call themselves feminists (though we have a club in the Springs now). I also read that your planning to major in History? What kind of history do you like? I just graduated with a history degree myself, with a focus on modern European history, and I'm planning on going from my Masters in Library Science soon.

Anyway, hope to talk soon!

Dannyboy

Posts : 124
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2015-06-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by jcorozza on Thu Jun 11, 2015 8:37 pm

I think you can skip the first sentence - she knows you read her profile and are messaging her! But otherwise it seems fine.
jcorozza
jcorozza

Posts : 460
Reputation : 191
Join date : 2015-03-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Dannyboy on Sat Jun 20, 2015 6:28 pm

Okay, so this girl "likes" me on OKC and I message her and she messages me back and we seem to be having a nice conversation about our mutual interests, but she hasn't replied to my most recent one. At first I thought she was just too busy, because she wasn't on for a couple days after the most recent one, but I now I see on her profile that she was on today and didn't message me ba....

Alright, I know I'm overreacting to this, that I really shouldn't care this much to begin with about a random girl that I've never met. I just, felt so good that I got a girl to in some way express interest in me, I thought that I was actually improving things. It just, feels like I've taken several steps backwards.

Dannyboy

Posts : 124
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2015-06-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by jcorozza on Sat Jun 20, 2015 8:47 pm

This happens to me all the time. Just keep messaging other women. Sometimes people sign on and don't reply to everything. Sometimes they found someone they like better. But don't waste time over-thinking it. You most likely didn't do anything wrong.
jcorozza
jcorozza

Posts : 460
Reputation : 191
Join date : 2015-03-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Archetype694 on Sun Jun 28, 2015 1:45 am

Would you guys mind offering some critique of my profile?

I had recently reactivated my account to test the local dating waters. So far my success has been nil. After about sending roughly twenty five messages in the past two weeks I have only had three replies.

I was thinking perhaps having another view of my profile might highlight where it might be turning people away.

I realize the weight is a large issue (pun intended), and it's understandable that this would preclude me from a large portion of the dating pool but what confuses me is that it's almost night and day in how people (positively) react to me in person verses how little attention I have been able to garner via my profile.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/J-Speakeasy

_________________
Taijiquan Panda
Archetype694
Archetype694

Posts : 60
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2014-10-06

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by jcorozza on Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:27 am

Generally, it could use some more specifics - you like learning new things - what kind of things? You like board games- give some examples! What makes "good company"? Also...this is just one that drives me nuts: "wherefore" means "why".
jcorozza
jcorozza

Posts : 460
Reputation : 191
Join date : 2015-03-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by The Wisp on Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:33 am

I think the written part of your profile is good (though I only did a quick scan through it).

Your pictures are an issue. Having your first two pictures be obvious selfies in the mirror where they can even see the phone comes off as lazy, frankly. Nothing wrong with one or two selfies, but make sure they can't see the phone and that they aren't "mirror selfies". Preferably, it would be not be at all obvious they are selfies at first glance. So I would get rid of those two pictures and replace them.

I would say the best picture is the fourth one where you're looking into the camera. If you had to pick one picture to be your thumbnail, that would be the one you should pick. The next best is the one with the dog. It's candid and cute. Then, the Tai Chi photo is the next best. It's not ideal because you're off to the side and if I didn't know what you looked like from you other pictures I wouldn't know who you were. That said, it's still good in that it shows you out doing something you enjoy. The rifle range photo is fine, though boring. It also has a problem because I had to investigate for a few seconds to realize where you were and what you were doing. I had to notice and read the sign behind you.

I'm less sure about this advice, but personally I'd just get rid of the one with you and the three women. I'm not your target audience, granted, but as a guy, seeing a woman with pictures of her with reasonably attractive men makes me uncomfortable, especially if she's touching him. I would imagine many women feel the same way when looking at that picture. Maybe something to consider.
The Wisp
The Wisp

Posts : 896
Reputation : 198
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Archetype694 on Sun Jun 28, 2015 2:40 am

The Wisp wrote:
Your pictures are an issue. Having your first two pictures be obvious selfies in the mirror where they can even see the phone comes off as lazy, frankly. Nothing wrong with one or two selfies, but make sure they can't see the phone and that they aren't "mirror selfies". Preferably, it would be not be at all obvious they are selfies at first glance. So I would get rid of those two pictures and replace them.

Thanks for the input.

I dislike the pictures I have up and do plan to switch them out. For most of my life I've always hated having my picture taken and would avoid situations where that might happen (this has changed over the past year). As I go out I've been trying to make a point to get more pictures taken, it's just often I forget or hate bothering others to do so.

As you can see I am clueless in the art of the selfie, I only did those as I felt it would be unfair to not have a better representation of what I look like until I had a chance to get something a bit more authentic up.

_________________
Taijiquan Panda
Archetype694
Archetype694

Posts : 60
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2014-10-06

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice - Page 18 Empty Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 18 of 35 Previous  1 ... 10 ... 17, 18, 19 ... 26 ... 35  Next

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum