The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by ReploidArmada on Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:16 am

Wow, I didn't think those parts were that bad D: I went ahead and took those parts clean out of the profile, but what should I put in their places?

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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Werel on Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:26 am

Talking about what you enjoy is usually a plus, since it gives people something to connect with. Are there any other interests, favorite topics, activities, etc. that you'd want to have a conversation with a stranger about?

Some more detail on the kind of people you're hoping to meet (not... in a racial sense, ideally, and maybe more specific than liking cats and cuddling) would help too. Someone who prefers small groups to big parties is a good start. The goal here is to give people an idea of if you'd be a good match for each other, so maybe incorporate: what kind of things would you want to do as dates? What kind of interaction styles appeal to you? It's okay if you don't know exactly (though maybe you should, since you say you spend a lot of time thinking about it Razz), but it's worth giving some thought and reflecting that thought in your profile.
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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by ReploidArmada on Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:40 am

I'm not honestly sure there are any other main topics or interests in my life Sad I feel like I brought this up either here or in therapy, probably both, but my life seems kinda... bland to me. There's so much stuff that I either can't do, won't do, or haven't done. I don't smoke, do drugs, drink, drive, go to clubs, go outdoors, etc, etc, etc...

As for the rest of that, I don't know much about those things, either. I don't know what kinds of dates I would prefer, since I haven't had any experience going on dates in the first place! Just about the only things I do know along those lines are that I don't want to go to a movie theater, and that I'm definitely looking for a longer-term relationship, not a ONS.

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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Enail on Tue Apr 18, 2017 11:21 am

Well, what would a life that you consider not-bland look like? Are there activities you might enjoy doing that you're not currently, or is your image of not-bland mostly a list of things you don't want to do?
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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by ReploidArmada on Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:36 pm

To be honest, I'm not sure. I feel like there are things I would like to do that I'm simply not able to do right now, but I don't know what they are as of yet. Meanwhile, like you said, my image of "not-bland" does mostly consist of things I don't want to do with myself.

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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Enail on Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:20 pm

That seems like something to put some thought into, both for your life in general and for how to bring some more interests and enthusiasm into your dating world. Things that you think "that would be fun to do with someone" or topics that you'd love talk about with people you find interesting. Or even, presumably you don't want to date someone bland, and while it's possible you might enjoy dating someone who did lots of things you don't want to do yourself, I'm guessing you'd probably like to date someone whose life included at least some kinds of things that you wouldn't see as so incompatible with what you'd like to do with yourself, so what does not-bland look like in a date?
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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by ReploidArmada on Thu Apr 20, 2017 1:29 am

Well, I thought a little bit about things I'd like to be doing with someone, presumably someone I was dating or interested in. I came up with the following: Hiking, dancing, cuddling, playing games, cooking, gardening, and playing with pets. Maybe that short list will be a good place to start?

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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Enail on Thu Apr 20, 2017 1:03 pm

Those sounds like great ideas, and many of them are things you could start putting into your life with or without a partner, as well as a few that might make good ideas for first dates that you could mention as a "contact me if you'd enjoy doing X."
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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by ReploidArmada on Sun Apr 23, 2017 11:14 pm

I revised my profile a bit, and added another picture. Would someone here mind taking another look at it? Thanks in advance! Smile

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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Werel on Mon Apr 24, 2017 12:57 pm

The revisions are good, especially mentions of activities that a potential date might want to do with you. And it always helps to have multiple photos, but you could get some better ones-- the new one looks sort of startled. Could you get any of you smiling, maybe in natural light? Have someone take a few photos of you at the next board game meetup?
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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by ReploidArmada on Wed Apr 26, 2017 3:01 am

I forgot to have some pictures taken of me while it was still light out, but I had a few taken. There's one I liked a lot, but I couldn't upload it to the OKCupid app because it was giving some sort of error message Sad

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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by bitboy1993 on Wed May 03, 2017 2:24 am

I've started up Tinder again and currently working on profile.
These are the pics I currently have any advice would be helpful.
I've not decided on a main profile pic





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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by bitboy1993 on Thu May 18, 2017 7:23 pm

Hi guys I've decided to give pof a go but I need some help working on my profile. If you get chance would you mind giving it a read.
(I'm still trying to think of a headline lol)
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=66605259

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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by WJMorris3 on Wed Jul 05, 2017 12:07 am

OK, so maybe it wasn't the wisest thing for me to do to quote a Coldplay song in an opening message. But gosh darn it, nothing else I've tried in five years plus has worked, so you never know.

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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Mara_ on Wed Jul 05, 2017 11:51 pm

bitboy1993 wrote:Hi guys I've decided to give pof a go but I need some help working on my profile. If you get chance would you mind giving it a read.
(I'm still trying to think of a headline lol)
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=66605259

I liked it! You seem busy, fun and not bitter, which are like my three favorite things and not that easy to find together.

It's not long enough to go into "just how much time does this dude think I have" yet not short enough to be half-assed. I think it does a good job of leaving you wanting to know more. I like it.

The group photo does nothing for it though. Maybe change it for one of you doing kung fu.
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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Yoshiland on Thu Jul 06, 2017 12:20 am

bitboy1993 wrote:I've started up Tinder again and currently working on profile.
These are the pics I currently have any advice would be helpful.
I've not decided on a main profile pic





You're a handsome fella. Pictures with animals are great, women love that. I would get ride of the last one with your in the black and green jacket, not your best angle.
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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by Mara_ on Thu Jul 06, 2017 12:24 am

True, there's a huge hotness level difference between dog+black shirt and dog + green shirt
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Re: The Same OLD Stories: Dating Profile/Message Advice

Post by AMischievousGrin on Thu Jul 20, 2017 1:52 am

I wanted to echo the last two posters.

You definitely made the right choice with the black shirt + dog photo for your main (as long as it's your dog).  Your smile in the third pic is warm and genuine (and you may want to show it off in more of your photos ; ) but personally I find the facial overlays distracting.

The green jacket may even make you look a little more sharply dressed, but the overall composition of the black shirt (lighting / angle etc) was just outright better.

I did notice your header reads, "Not flawless,But My Dog Thinks I'm Awesome"

If you can, I'd put a space after the comma and lose most of the caps: "Not flawless, but my dog thinks I'm Awesome!". Nit-picky, but I've read that people associate correct punctuation / grammar with intelligence, so...

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