Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboundstudent on Thu Mar 05, 2015 1:46 pm

I have always, always, always wanted to own a home. I know housing is expensive, and over the long course of my life I'll probably lose money by buying and renting is so much better.... but I am sick to death of renting. I want to be able to decorate, to paint and remodel. I want to be able to have a yard, and two dogs. Trying to find places to rent that allow even just one dog is nuts, and a yard? Forget it! I've put off looking at houses because I didn't have enough for a down payment (aiming for $10,000 though my parents insist I should have 20%) for years. However, two of my friends recent bought homes, and told me I could get a lot of assistance as a first-time buyer. So I've seriously started to consider that ya know, maybe it's just time to do it. I'm pretty firmly established in my city, my credit score is probably as good as it's gonna be for a few years (between good and excellent), I'm turning 30 this year, and marriage isn't in the cards for several more years. So, heck, why not now?

I've used a couple of online calculators and it looks like I am just on the cusp where buying would be slightly better financially than renting, and where I could just afford it. I'm meeting with a financial adviser next week, but wondered for those of you who have bought a house-should you only do so when buying is absolutely a better financial deal than renting? Only do it when you could make half of your income and still afford it?

I know house buying is also a huge undertaking. Does anybody have any advice or pieces of wisdom to pass on? Any good ideas about where to start?
avatar
reboundstudent

Posts : 460
Reputation : 261
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboot on Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:02 pm

Talk to your bank and see what mortgage you can pre-qualify for. It gives you an idea of what you are getting into and (realistically) how much you can spend. Definitely read over every damned word of the loan documentation and ask every question. Some loan officers can get dismissive/condescending but that is usually because you are asking about things (like balloon payments) that they do not really want to tell you. They get a bonus usually for every mortgage, so they are looking out for their interests, not yours.

If you have not already done it, research home prices in the areas you want to live. If something is significantly lower that is a bad sign. If it is higher, you know your bargaining space. Have a very clear list of "must have" and "like to have". Also, give a long, hard thought to how much " fix up" you are up for. DO NOT GET SEDUCED BY DIY UNLESS YOU HAVE TIME, MONEY AND ENJOY THAT TYPE OF WORK.

Have your bank recommend the home inspector. Do not go with the one recommended by the realtors. If you get push back, insist even harder. There is a lot of collusion out there.

Realators will expect you to drop everything on their/the seller's schedule. Do not let them push you around. The make $$ off the deal, so ask them to come to you or meet your schedule. If they are unwilling, tell them to forget about the sale.
avatar
reboot
Moderator of "Other Relationships" and "Gender, Identity and Society"

Posts : 2514
Reputation : 1005
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Caffeinated on Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:19 pm

Oooh! So exciting! Everything reboot said is excellent advice.

I would add not to feel like you are wasting your realtor's time, or feel pressured to pick something sooner rather than later if it's not exactly the right thing, or feel pressured to pick anything at all if nothing is absolutely right. I'm not saying the realtor will try to pressure you (although if they do, I'd consider going with someone else, because that's not cool), but that you might feel the same kind of internalized social pressure I felt, particularly as a woman feeling like I had to be sure never to waste anyone's time. Don't let anyone tell you that you're being too picky!
avatar
Caffeinated

Posts : 455
Reputation : 272
Join date : 2014-12-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboot on Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:23 pm

^Cosigning what Caffeinated said.

You are signing onto a 30 year commitment. You get to be as picky as you want and take as long to decide as you need
avatar
reboot
Moderator of "Other Relationships" and "Gender, Identity and Society"

Posts : 2514
Reputation : 1005
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboundstudent on Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:35 pm

reboot wrote:^Cosigning what Caffeinated said.

You are signing onto a 30 year commitment. You get to be as picky as you want and take as long to decide as you need

Thank you guys, I know exactly what sort of internalized pressure you're referring to. My friends who recently bought have passed along their Realtor, mortgage broker and inspection guy with very high recommendations. And yet I feel nervous just sending a message to the mortgage guy cause omg I don't wanna waste his time... which is extra ridiculous cause I think I've done my homework.

My second problem may be absolutely falling in love with a house. I mean, it's in the price range I set for myself and unless the utility/inspection is worst case scenario I think I could afford it, but it's probably not a good idea to choose a house with love instead of practicality. Grin

(Look at it though, is it not so freaking adorable?! Lovestruck http://www.results.net/homes-for-sale/MN/Saint_Paul/55106/1220_Reaney_Avenue/198_633108/ )


Last edited by reboot on Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:37 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : fixed link)
avatar
reboundstudent

Posts : 460
Reputation : 261
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboot on Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:40 pm

I would totally live there!!! Except I hate yard work, so I would need to invest in yard faeries  Smile

One piece of advice is if you go to a mortgage broker also get an assessment from your bank and compare terms. It is good to see the different options
avatar
reboot
Moderator of "Other Relationships" and "Gender, Identity and Society"

Posts : 2514
Reputation : 1005
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Caffeinated on Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:44 pm

reboundstudent wrote:
reboot wrote:^Cosigning what Caffeinated said.

You are signing onto a 30 year commitment. You get to be as picky as you want and take as long to decide as you need

Thank you guys, I know exactly what sort of internalized pressure you're referring to. My friends who recently bought have passed along their Realtor, mortgage broker and inspection guy with very high recommendations. And yet I feel nervous just sending a message to the mortgage guy cause omg I don't wanna waste his time... which is extra ridiculous cause I think I've done my homework.

My second problem may be absolutely falling in love with a house. I mean, it's in the price range I set for myself and unless the utility/inspection is worst case scenario I think I could afford it, but it's probably not a good idea to choose a house with love instead of practicality. Grin

(Look at it though, is it not so freaking adorable?! Lovestruck http://www.results.net/homes-for-sale/MN/Saint_Paul/55106/1220_Reaney_Avenue/198_633108/ )

OMG that house is completely adorable! (Of course, you never know how a house will actually feel until you're there in person. I saw a few houses where they must have had the world's best photographer to make them look so much better than they were in person, and also some with totally crap photos that were great in person.)

Also, I literally think it's not possible to waste a mortgage guy's time if a person is even a little bit considering getting into the real estate market. I mean, that's the kind of job where such a huge portion is trying to drum up business and find leads, that a possible buyer actually contacting them is something they love.
avatar
Caffeinated

Posts : 455
Reputation : 272
Join date : 2014-12-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by kleenestar on Thu Mar 05, 2015 3:32 pm

That house is SUPER cute!

My advice about home-buying is as follows:
1) It doesn't matter if your monthly payment is slightly more or less than renting, as long as you can afford it. Think about whether you prefer to do the extra work associated with a house in exchange for more control, or not. The money is not a huge difference in the long run.
2) That said, the place that buying will hit you financially is in fees. It's fine if you're going to buy and stay for a while, but I would not advise you buy unless you are planning to stay 3-5 years.
3) Consider your safety net in a worst-case scenario. If you lost your job, how long could you pay the mortgage while you job-hunted? Do you have family who could help see you didn't lose the house? Can the house accommodate roommates? Could you rent it and move in with friends? You really, really want to have a worst-case scenario plan.
4) Make sure they check external structures, like that garage, for termites. (We almost bought a house with a termite problem this way.)
5) Look at the way the light falls in the house. Try to visit a couple of times at different times of day. Lots of things about a house can be changed, but location and sightlines are not among those things. We prioritized location (along with a great kitchen) and have been incredibly happy with our wonderful house.
avatar
kleenestar

Posts : 289
Reputation : 204
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Guest on Thu Mar 05, 2015 3:51 pm

reboundstudent wrote:
(Look at it though, is it not so freaking adorable?! Lovestruck http://www.results.net/homes-for-sale/MN/Saint_Paul/55106/1220_Reaney_Avenue/198_633108/ )



Dat house doe and dat price tag. :0 I live in San Diego and my current house is slightly bigger, we have a garage, and my parents payed approximately twice as much as what you're looking at. So, I think you found something pretty awesome, maybe in my later years I'll move out to Minneapolis. Razz

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboundstudent on Thu Mar 05, 2015 4:15 pm

The Mikey wrote:
reboundstudent wrote:
(Look at it though, is it not so freaking adorable?! Lovestruck http://www.results.net/homes-for-sale/MN/Saint_Paul/55106/1220_Reaney_Avenue/198_633108/ )

Dat house doe and dat price tag. :0 I live in San Diego and my current house is slightly bigger, we have a garage, and my parents payed approximately twice as much as what you're looking at. So, I think you found something pretty awesome, maybe in my later years I'll move out to Minneapolis. Razz

Ha, well, everything is relative. The average income for the city is about $64,000. I think part of the price is because it's an older house, and it's in a not totally desirable school district (ranked in the bottom 30% of the state.) To put it in perspective, hop/skip about 10 miles southwest, and you won't find a single house under $299,000.

Minneapolis is kind of a weird city. We have lots of Fortune 500 companies here, but there isn't enough well-paying jobs that the city itself feels well-off. So neighborhoods/suburbs are either pretty wealthy or pretty poor; the cost of living seems to be much higher than the national average. And then there's the fact that Minneapolis and St. Paul are closely tied together, and what's considered "the Cities" sometimes spreads far out into the suburbs. (For example, Minneapolis is 400,000 people, and St. Paul is 294,000. But their down towns are maybe 20 minutes apart. So when you talk about the city, what number do you reference, 400,000 or 694,000?)

Still, I've never lived as an adult in another US city so I can't say. And my only other reference is very small town Wisconsin, where the same price will get a huge, very new house. Example: http://www.results.net/homes-for-sale/WI/Eau_Claire/54701/1720_Skeels_Ave/198_654569/
(Split level, though. I am excited for split level to go out of style...)
avatar
reboundstudent

Posts : 460
Reputation : 261
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Wondering on Thu Mar 05, 2015 5:43 pm

My husband and I are actually in a pending sale right now so home buying is very much what I've been doing with my time the past few weeks.

I agree with kleenestar that you need to be aware of the fees. The fees will get you if you're not prepared. So when you look at your savings and how much of a down payment you can make, be aware that you'll have more you need to pay out of pocket than just the down payment.

30 year fixed mortgage all the way. Do not do an ARM.

Honestly, I'd interview realtors before you pick one. I got a couple recs and called them, and one guy was just all about the mansplaining to me about stuff that I did not care about. I did not go with him.

That house is super duper cute. Nothing wrong with falling in love with one. That's actually what happened with us. Smile For your particular situation, since I just went through it, I'd recommend seeing that house first before any others. That way, if there's something wrong with it, you can cross it off. But if you see others first, this one may be in your mind and you'll be making comparisons even though you haven't seen it yet.

Do some looking of your own like you have. For Sale By Owner houses don't show up on the MLS listings, so your realtor might not find or suggest them.

Super good luck! House shopping is an exciting thing to do. Grin

_________________
-Nevertheless, she persisted

Wondering

Posts : 1113
Reputation : 434
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by eselle28 on Thu Mar 05, 2015 6:39 pm

- I echo the recommendation to be aware of fees.

- Don't worry for even a little bit about wasting anyone's time. These people are doing their jobs, and your situation is not an unusual one at all. Most people I know thought about buying a house for awhile before they actually bought one. I'd add that my understanding is that the housing market in your area is a bit soft right now (notice that, according to Zillow, that adorable house has been on the market since last summer and appears to have been taken off it for a bit of a makeover this winter) which generally means that even "thinking about it" potential buyers are welcomed and that they have the luxury of spending some time doing that thinking.

- Owning a home, particularly a freestanding one, requires more work. It's rewarding work for many people, but it's work. Expect to spend a few extra hours a week on maintenance even if your house doesn't have any major issues and everything is going well. Some things like lawn care can be done on a schedule, but there will also be snow and tree branches that get blown down and random things around the house breaking that will need to be taken care of when you might have other things on your plate.

- Be realistic about updates, particularly the timeline for having the money and the energy to do them. This is again going off my second-hand knowledge of the market, but my understanding is that a lot of the nice, structurally-sound, single-family homes in a first-time buyer's budget are going to have a something. It looks like that house has had recent updates and that its something is the school district. If you end up looking at another place where the something is that it's livable but dated, ask yourself if you'll still be happy there if it takes six years before you get around to renovating the kitchen rather than two. I have a gripey email from my sister in my inbox right now about an entirely coincidentally similar kitchen. She would have bought the house even if she could see into the future, but it is an area where people tend to be overly optimistic.

- Wondering's advice about the dream house sounds wise. This is fairly obvious, but taking someone who's skeptical by nature and who doesn't have any stake in your buying the house along can be a helpful balance.

- Oh, and best of luck! This is exciting!
avatar
eselle28
General Oversight Moderator

Posts : 1992
Reputation : 999
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Autumnflame on Thu Mar 05, 2015 10:49 pm

Nothing helpful here (though my thoughts have been turning toward buying, too, though in my case I'd look for a condo or something - I can't abide yardwork), but oooo that house is /pretty/. 3br/2ba for that price?! Wooow. Grin
avatar
Autumnflame

Posts : 181
Reputation : 55
Join date : 2014-10-03

View user profile http://priscillakim.carbonmade.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Guest on Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:56 am

I actually just signed the P&S agreement for my second home-buying adventure yesterday, so I am right in the middle of this adventure.

A few pieces of advice:

1. The realtor you get makes a huge difference. Don't just take the first one you find on yelp. If you find one who is upfront about how she makes her commission, tries to keep you grounded and points out flaws you don't notice, and is knowledgeable about your area and the neighborhoods you're looking at, you've got a treasure.

2. Visit open houses. Even before you get a realtor. Take some Saturdays and just tromp around. Even if they're houses you don't like, you'll get a sense of what's out there.

3. When you're buying a house, always remember that choosing the house you buy is the first step towards selling your house. Even if you LOVE a feature, if it will make it harder to sell, you want to try to pay less for it, not more.

4. Expect to pay around 2-5% of the house value in closing costs, plus another few thousand in moving expenses/important minor repairs. If you wind up paying less than that, you're fine, but that's a minimum you should have available. (I'm going to need to pay around $17K total on those. :-/ ) You'll have to pay for an inspection and appraisal yourself, and even if the deal falls apart, those are costs you don't recoup.

5. Don't put too much store in the pictures you see on MLS. Some of them are really good, and make a crappy house look nice. Some are really mediocre. See as many houses as you can, even if the look of them on realtor.com isn't very nice. They might surprise you, and if there are bad photos, you may get a good deal because other people reject the place.

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by eselle28 on Fri Mar 06, 2015 3:35 pm

ElizaJane wrote:
2. Visit open houses.  Even before you get a realtor.  Take some Saturdays and just tromp around.  Even if they're houses you don't like, you'll get a sense of what's out there.

Oh, yes, this is such a good suggestion and I didn't even think about it because no one does open houses where I live now. But open houses are a great way to get a sense of the market. I also find them kind of fun, and from knowing some of the things you like RBS, I think you might find them fun as well.

Confession of bad past behavior: When I lived in New York, I dated a guy who liked going to open houses. Like, we'd occasionally go to two of them and then have dinner and that was our Saturday date. He already owned an apartment and I was only 26 and was a couple years away from being seriously interested in buying, but it's actually really interesting to look at a living space and try to imagine yourself in it.

ElizaJane wrote:
5. Don't put too much store in the pictures you see on MLS.  Some of them are really good, and make a crappy house look nice.  Some are really mediocre.  See as many houses as you can, even if the look of them on realtor.com isn't very nice.  They might surprise you, and if there are bad photos, you may get a good deal because other people reject the place.

Yup. Sometimes houses have had a lot of staging to make their pictures appealing. Like, I can see that the linked house has had quite a lot of it. I also suspect it's a pretty nice house that the buyers are playing up more because of the neighborhood than because they're trying to distract from a roof or a foundation that will need work ASAP, but I can see where the changes were made because I was advised to do a couple of those things when I sold my condo. Sometimes you need to look past the prettying up, and sometimes there are pretty awesome houses that haven't been staged and aren't photogenic.
avatar
eselle28
General Oversight Moderator

Posts : 1992
Reputation : 999
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboundstudent on Mon Mar 23, 2015 1:59 pm

Haven't met with the mortgage broker yet, but really sitting down to crunch the numbers, it looks like a house is just not feasible, when taking into account insurance and property taxes. I'm feeling really bummed out about it, because it isn't likely that my income will be changing any time soon, and none of the bills I have are likely to change for at least another decade. Seriously, how the fuck do people afford this stuff? I keep hearing that other folks who make less than me afford houses and new cars and kids. How do they do it?? I can't even afford to rent a place that allows for two dogs while driving a 15 year old car (that I'm paying a monthly car payment on)...
avatar
reboundstudent

Posts : 460
Reputation : 261
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboot on Mon Mar 23, 2015 2:34 pm

reboundstudent wrote:Haven't met with the mortgage broker yet, but really sitting down to crunch the numbers, it looks like a house is just not feasible, when taking into account insurance and property taxes. I'm feeling really bummed out about it, because it isn't likely that my income will be changing any time soon, and none of the bills I have are likely to change for at least another decade. Seriously, how the fuck do people afford this stuff? I keep hearing that other folks who make less than me afford houses and new cars and kids. How do they do it?? I can't even afford to rent a place that allows for two dogs while driving a 15 year old car (that I'm paying a monthly car payment on)...

Often it is with help from family, getting unwise mortgages with zero down, leasing cars, a piling on more debt etc.. Plenty of people can have everything they want if they are willing to go deeply into debt. It is a gamble that sometimes does not pay off. Other people have family that helps them.
avatar
reboot
Moderator of "Other Relationships" and "Gender, Identity and Society"

Posts : 2514
Reputation : 1005
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by eselle28 on Mon Mar 23, 2015 3:07 pm

reboundstudent wrote:Haven't met with the mortgage broker yet, but really sitting down to crunch the numbers, it looks like a house is just not feasible, when taking into account insurance and property taxes. I'm feeling really bummed out about it, because it isn't likely that my income will be changing any time soon, and none of the bills I have are likely to change for at least another decade. Seriously, how the fuck do people afford this stuff? I keep hearing that other folks who make less than me afford houses and new cars and kids. How do they do it?? I can't even afford to rent a place that allows for two dogs while driving a 15 year old car (that I'm paying a monthly car payment on)...

I agree with reboot that many people who buy either do so unwisely or with some additional help from family that isn't mentioned. Among people who buy houses rather than condos, I've known a lot of people who rented out an extra bedroom for the first couple years of ownership. That comes with extra hassle, but the room rental often paid for the non-mortgage housing expenses. You may still want to meet with the mortgage broker and financial adviser to see if they have suggestions on a plan for buying in the future.
avatar
eselle28
General Oversight Moderator

Posts : 1992
Reputation : 999
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboundstudent on Mon Mar 23, 2015 3:38 pm

eselle28 wrote:
reboundstudent wrote:Haven't met with the mortgage broker yet, but really sitting down to crunch the numbers, it looks like a house is just not feasible, when taking into account insurance and property taxes. I'm feeling really bummed out about it, because it isn't likely that my income will be changing any time soon, and none of the bills I have are likely to change for at least another decade. Seriously, how the fuck do people afford this stuff? I keep hearing that other folks who make less than me afford houses and new cars and kids. How do they do it?? I can't even afford to rent a place that allows for two dogs while driving a 15 year old car (that I'm paying a monthly car payment on)...

I agree with reboot that many people who buy either do so unwisely or with some additional help from family that isn't mentioned. Among people who buy houses rather than condos, I've known a lot of people who rented out an extra bedroom for the first couple years of ownership. That comes with extra hassle, but the room rental often paid for the non-mortgage housing expenses. You may still want to meet with the mortgage broker and financial adviser to see if they have suggestions on a plan for buying in the future.

Yeah I figure I'll meet with the broker just to see what kind of down payment assistance I can get. I've been low-balling my odds (figuring that I should work with "worst case scenario" numbers) but if he could offer me something surprising or extra nice I could still maybe, potentially make it work.

I did meet with a financial adviser at my bank and it.... didn't go well. She was being very pushy about taking out an "emergency" line of credit, for "just in case", wanting me to get the application started as soon as possible. When I pointed out that a new line of credit would hurt my score just as I'm thinking of buying a house, she tried to sweep it aside with an explanation that better to take the credit hit now? Either way, it made me very uncomfortable, and I finally faked an important phone call to excuse myself. I fear that any mortgage broker or financial adviser is going to give me the same run around.

Obviously it's always a good idea to give into a financial situation with as much knowledge as possible. What do you guys do when confronted with pushiness and being perhaps not fully informed about stuff?
avatar
reboundstudent

Posts : 460
Reputation : 261
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Wondering on Mon Mar 23, 2015 4:11 pm

I say bluntly that I'm not acting on anything now and need to think about it and let them know. Then I leave. And do or don't call back based on what I think after mulling it over after doing a little more of my/our own research.

_________________
-Nevertheless, she persisted

Wondering

Posts : 1113
Reputation : 434
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Caffeinated on Mon Mar 23, 2015 5:16 pm

reboundstudent wrote:Obviously it's always a good idea to give into a financial situation with as much knowledge as possible. What do you guys do when confronted with pushiness and being perhaps not fully informed about stuff?  

I tend to get very non-committal and use lots of hedge words/noises ("hmmm" "ah" "really") as I back out of the situation, and then I avoid that person for the rest of time. Actually, this is my strategy with almost anyone who gets pushy with my or crosses my boundaries. Raised with the Minnesota Nice thing, I have trouble being blunt when dealing with the hard sell, but I'm very good at stubbornly not agreeing to anything concrete and at never letting the pushy person anywhere near my boundaries again. This may not actually be a particularly good strategy, but that's what I've got.
avatar
Caffeinated

Posts : 455
Reputation : 272
Join date : 2014-12-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboundstudent on Mon Mar 23, 2015 6:04 pm

Caffeinated wrote:

I tend to get very non-committal and use lots of hedge words/noises ("hmmm" "ah" "really") as I back out of the situation, and then I avoid that person for the rest of time. Actually, this is my strategy with almost anyone who gets pushy with my or crosses my boundaries. Raised with the Minnesota Nice thing, I have trouble being blunt when dealing with the hard sell, but I'm very good at stubbornly not agreeing to anything concrete and at never letting the pushy person anywhere near my boundaries again. This may not actually be a particularly good strategy, but that's what I've got.



(Hello fellow Minnesotian! Do you suffer from long good-byes as well?)

avatar
reboundstudent

Posts : 460
Reputation : 261
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Caffeinated on Mon Mar 23, 2015 6:16 pm

reboundstudent wrote:
Caffeinated wrote:

I tend to get very non-committal and use lots of hedge words/noises ("hmmm" "ah" "really") as I back out of the situation, and then I avoid that person for the rest of time. Actually, this is my strategy with almost anyone who gets pushy with my or crosses my boundaries. Raised with the Minnesota Nice thing, I have trouble being blunt when dealing with the hard sell, but I'm very good at stubbornly not agreeing to anything concrete and at never letting the pushy person anywhere near my boundaries again. This may not actually be a particularly good strategy, but that's what I've got.



(Hello fellow Minnesotian! Do you suffer from long good-byes as well?)


It's been over two decades since I last lived in Minnesota, but the long good-byes remain. It's why sometimes if I'm just too tired, I tend to sneak out the back without saying anything to anyone, because a long good-bye is just too much. Did you ever read the (funny but surprisingly accurate) book "How to Talk Minnesotan"?
avatar
Caffeinated

Posts : 455
Reputation : 272
Join date : 2014-12-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by reboundstudent on Mon Mar 23, 2015 6:28 pm

Caffeinated wrote:
It's been over two decades since I last lived in Minnesota, but the long good-byes remain. It's why sometimes if I'm just too tired, I tend to sneak out the back without saying anything to anyone, because a long good-bye is just too much. Did you ever read the (funny but surprisingly accurate) book "How to Talk Minnesotan"?

Right?!

I have not read that book, but I did look up a few Wiki entries on it, and my first thought is ".... that isn't normal outside of MN?"

Things I thought were totally normal and not region-specific:
  • Saying "nice to meet you" as a way to politely end the conversion/walk away

  • Saying "Do you wanna come with"

  • Saying "Whaca doing" instead of "What are you doing"


Are those things.... not usual?
avatar
reboundstudent

Posts : 460
Reputation : 261
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Soooo.... Thinking of Buying a New House. Advice?

Post by Caffeinated on Mon Mar 23, 2015 6:36 pm

reboundstudent wrote:
Caffeinated wrote:
It's been over two decades since I last lived in Minnesota, but the long good-byes remain. It's why sometimes if I'm just too tired, I tend to sneak out the back without saying anything to anyone, because a long good-bye is just too much. Did you ever read the (funny but surprisingly accurate) book "How to Talk Minnesotan"?

Right?!

I have not read that book, but I did look up a few Wiki entries on it, and my first thought is ".... that isn't normal outside of MN?"

Things I thought were totally normal and not region-specific:

  • Saying "nice to meet you" as a way to politely end the conversion/walk away


  • Saying "Do you wanna come with"


  • Saying "Whaca doing" instead of "What are you doing"


Are those things.... not usual?

It's a handy book for explaining Minnesotans to outsiders and vice versa. Seems there's all kinds of things outsiders don't say or do that I grew up with as normal. Like salads that contain mayonnaise or Cool Whip or marshmallows. Seems like outside Minnesota, salad has to have leaves in it and if it has marshmallows it's counted as a dessert. *shrug*
avatar
Caffeinated

Posts : 455
Reputation : 272
Join date : 2014-12-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum