Time for a big change

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Post by Gman on Sun Mar 15, 2015 8:29 pm

Today I just did something I never thought I will ever, EVER do.

I signed up for a pick-up website – for real money.

Now, I am well aware of everything that is BAD with the pickup community and everything that can be toxic and dangerous about this path. Both the doc's page and this forum made that very clear to me. However, what made me go for it anyway, was meeting my friend today.

My friend is 25 years old and he has zero experience when it comes to the ladies. He told me that he decided on his birthday that he has had enough of being alone and that he needs to make a change in his life and take control back on his life. I looked at him and I saw the determination all of sudden he has – a new spark that was ignited in him all of a sudden. Simply seeing him like this, my best friend, made me wonder what changed in him all of a sudden.

He told me about signing up to this website, then pulled out his laptop and showed me some of the content in it. At first I was HIGHLY skeptical. But as I took 20 minutes with the introductory video and some of the content – I realized that this website wasn't trying to sell "oil snake" – it didn't promise a "magic bullet" to get girls, it doesn't promise that it will be easy and that if you signed up to it – then prepare to put in the effort required for success. It shows some important concepts that the doc also talks about – nonverbal communication, having healthy mindsets and so on – but it doesn't talk about "alpha males", "bitches be crazy" or "nailing hoes left and right" or anything toxic of that sort. It talks about how to enjoy the pickup process, how to have fun in the process and how to create emotional connections between you and women who you are interested in.

Then I started to think with myself. It's been a year since my ex left me and I have barley hit on 4 girls in total and had one date. I felt dissatisfied with it. I started to feel that I deserve to have the life that I want and have the love life that I want and be happy with myself. I realized that so far, like the doc always says, that doing the same things over and over that don't get you anywhere means that the only common denominator left – is yourself. I decided that the time for a more radical change in my lifestyle and mindset is required. So I went for it.

Maybe it'll work – or maybe I'll discover/realize that it's just all bullshit and quit it soon. But I do know this – that I NEED change in my life. That it's time for me to take back responsibility and control over my own happiness. It's time for me to start looking for a job more seriously, it's time to think about moving out of my parents' home. It's time to start – slowly, maybe also painfully – build the life that I want, piece by piece, step by step.

It won't be easy. It won't be a stroll in the park. I'll probably feel scared a lot by trying to change like this. But I hope that, by also having a really good friend of mine to work with on this – I should be able to start something new and good and exciting. Or maybe it'll all crash and burn. But one thing is for sure – it's time to DO something about my love life and my life in general
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Post by Enail on Sun Mar 15, 2015 9:13 pm

Let us know how it goes, Gman! I'm sure we'll all be interested to hear your impressions!
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Post by BasedBuzzed on Mon Mar 16, 2015 6:31 am

Gman wrote:It talks about how to enjoy the pickup process, how to have fun in the process and how to create emotional connections between you and women who you are interested in.

This is how you know you've signed up to something that's almost guaranteed to be worth the cash. Flirty banter, thinking up fun openers, that mix of excitement and fear of the approach, seeing yourself as a process to work on....throwing that out with an overly goal-focused mindset is what nukes most PUA stuff I read about. Supplement it with Mark Manson if you haven't already(but ignore his view of how teasing banter is a sign of insecurity) and you're good to go.

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Post by gaboz on Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:21 am

Gman wrote:It won't be easy. It won't be a stroll in the park. I'll probably feel scared a lot by trying to change like this. But I hope that, by also having a really good friend of mine to work with on this – I should be able to start something new and good and exciting. Or maybe it'll all crash and burn. But one thing is for sure – it's time to DO something about my love life and my life in genera

Sounds like a great way top kickstart your love life.

just remember my sig.

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Post by Gman on Wed Mar 18, 2015 6:10 am

Well, maybe this is something that can payoff. Just made my first cold approach during daytime - got a number of this really cute girl. It was ironically enough, not that hard...
Although this is just a number and in reality I'm thinking she is going to flake on me - it's a huge improvment. My first number in almost a year since I broke with my ex.
I think I have found a new path that just might work well with my personality :-)
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Post by gaboz on Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:12 am

Gman wrote:Although this is just a number and in reality I'm thinking she is going to flake on me


who cares! you went for it and got results. try the number, you'll never know Smile

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Post by reboot on Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:08 am

Just remember to keep it outcome independent and disregard anything that sounds like it would make you feel like a jerk (e.g. insulting the women, giving the women number ratings) and you will be good to go. Nothing like enforced practice of social skills to get you to regain confidence.
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Post by Gman on Wed Mar 18, 2015 10:26 am

reboot wrote:Just remember to keep it outcome independent and disregard anything that sounds like it would make you feel like a jerk (e.g. insulting the women, giving the women number ratings) and you will be good to go. Nothing like enforced practice of social skills to get you to regain confidence.

Actually, this pickup method that I am learning - they say there that men who blame women for their own failure (i.e. insulting women) are just sad, insecure human beings who can't take a rejection. That's another reason why I am liking the advice they are giving so far. It feels like it's talking to you on the same level, not condescending or making you feel like they are suprerior or are somehow "better" than you.
Also another thing that makes it unique - the advice is supplemented with videos showing real life applications and approaches and they take these moments and explained to you what worked there, what didn't and why.

If I had to sum it up so far - it's all about mindsets and confidence. That's roughly about 70% of the challenge - the rest is actual techniques.
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Post by nearly_takuan on Wed Mar 18, 2015 12:15 pm

Gman wrote:Just made my first cold approach during daytime - got a number of this really cute girl. It was ironically enough, not that hard...

I hear it gets even easier.

Gman wrote:Actually, this pickup method that I am learning - they say there that men who blame women for their own failure (i.e. insulting women) are just sad, insecure human beings who can't take a rejection. That's another reason why I am liking the advice they are giving so far. It feels like it's talking to you on the same level, not condescending or making you feel like they are suprerior or are somehow "better" than you.

Right, they're trying to make you feel like you and they are on the same team, and you're both better than another group. Classic sales and marketing; bankers will do this, too.

Eh, you say potato, I say potato.
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