What to do about hair

View previous topic View next topic Go down

What to do about hair

Post by Prajnaparamita on Mon Mar 16, 2015 11:15 am

Conversation with boyfriend from a couple weeks ago:

[Leaving his bedroom to head to common area for a cup to tea]

Me: "Wait, does my hair look like I've just had sex?!"

Him: "Yes... I mean, no. Your hair always looks like you're just had sex."

...Which is probably a hint that I need to get my hair cut, like now. My hair is notoriously variable from day to day--depending on humidity, atmospheric pressure, the phase of the moon, and when I last stared into the golden eyes of a lynx, my hair can either fall into perfect ringlets and waves without any effort, or be a frizzy, wild mess. Winter is particularly unkind, especially this one, and I feel like it hasn't looked good now for months. In regards to products I don't use much--I've found that it reacts very poorly to most everything I try to put it, but I use Garnier Fructis dry hair shampoo and conditioner, and enough argan oil to swim in (which reduces the flyaways some but holy frick is that stuff expensive!)  

I've been wondering if any of you guys have some ideas about how to cut/style it so it might look better--I know some might like the messy bedhead look, but it just isn't my style--I'd prefer something neater and more feminine. Also, much as I would love to, adding bangs is just physically impossible for me; I have a very high forehead + severe cowlick, so any attempt at bangs will end up with short little hairs that poke out the side of my head like whiskers. It's... Not pleasant.

1. Here's my hair being frizzy/wild, though trust me, it can double that in volume if it wants to!



2. Here is it being a little better behaved




3. Here's more of that frizzy bedhead thing



4. And just in case you were curious, this is what it looks like when allowed to grow out--or as I like to say, my hippie Jesus stoner look. I usually try to make sure it doesn't get to that. (Also those glasses that I never actually wear.)


_________________
Foster! It saves lives! And kittens! People will just give you kittens! For free!
avatar
Prajnaparamita

Posts : 402
Reputation : 232
Join date : 2015-02-05

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What to do about hair

Post by Autumnflame on Mon Mar 16, 2015 12:28 pm

Wow, you've got a great complexion! And bone structure! Envious of that jawline. Grin

As far as hair goes, while I don't have particularly curly hair (my hair, left untouched, is super-wiry and tends to straight, though it waves a little bit), the bits that have been bleached way too many times sometimes get super-brittle, frizzy and spiral into ringlets in complete defiance of the way the rest of the hair lies, including the other bits that are frizzing and spiraling. I've found using a tiny dab of cholesterol conditioner on towel-dried post-shower hair helps to lock in the moisture and gives it some softness and malleability. You can find cholesterol at most beauty stores or hair products aisle.

Oh, I don't know if you rub your dry with a towel or just squeeze it with the towel and finger-comb it, but I'd recommend doing the latter if you don't already - sometimes letting it dry without combing it straight first means that it ends up drying in the shape of the shower-tangles and going every which way. Avoid blow-drying if possible. That's based on my own (bleached) hair, though, I understand naturally curly hair can have very different requirements.
avatar
Autumnflame

Posts : 181
Reputation : 55
Join date : 2014-10-03

View user profile http://priscillakim.carbonmade.com

Back to top Go down

Re: What to do about hair

Post by Prajnaparamita on Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:25 pm

Autumnflame wrote:Wow, you've got a great complexion!

Accutane + the pill Laughing

Honestly as recently as just 6 months ago I had really bad acne all over my face--thank gods none of it scarred!

Autumnflame wrote:
I've found using a tiny dab of cholesterol conditioner on towel-dried post-shower hair helps to lock in the moisture and gives it some softness and malleability. You can find cholesterol at most beauty stores or hair products aisle.  

I've never heard of the stuff, but I'll check it out, thanks!

Autumnflame wrote:
Oh, I don't know if you rub your dry with a towel or just squeeze it with the towel and finger-comb it, but I'd recommend doing the latter if you don't already - sometimes letting it dry without combing it straight first means that it ends up drying in the shape of the shower-tangles and going every which way. Avoid blow-drying if possible. That's based on my own (bleached) hair, though, I understand naturally curly hair can have very different requirements.

So actually I don't dry it at all--I've discovered I don't like towels and prefer to stand around drip-drying my entire body after a shower. (It's not as crazy as it sounds--I shower right before bed, and the water evaporating off my skin lowers my internal body temperature, which helps with getting to sleep.) So after the hair is no longer dripping wet I'll scrunch some argan oil into my hair... Which come to think of it, could be part of the problem if that's causing it to dry into a wild shape. Thanks for pointing that out, that's an immediate thing I can try to change! I also never dry it--goodness knows it has enough ways to spaz out on me as is!

_________________
Foster! It saves lives! And kittens! People will just give you kittens! For free!
avatar
Prajnaparamita

Posts : 402
Reputation : 232
Join date : 2015-02-05

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What to do about hair

Post by Enail on Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:48 pm

I've got very similar hair to you. And, while there are some big differences in our hair goals (I actively don't want something too feminine), it sounds like we're both trying for something a little neater and more intentional. So I will be listening with interest to your responses too!

I haven't totally mastered it yet by a long shot, so take this for what it's worth, but here are a few things that have had good results for me lately (a good part of the credit goes to advice from the old forum. Thanks, y'all! Also, confession: I still haven't picked a hairstyle and gotten a proper haircut Uh-oh Combination of indecisiveness and logistical difficulties has made me keep putting it off. I am properly ashamed. ):

-Lately I've gone with encouraging curl rather than trying to push it towards the straighter side of wavy, and while that's sort of inherently wilder, it seems easier to get something smooth, intentional and & non-frizzy that way.

-curl creme (?I think that's what it's called. I'll check next time I'm near it)

-I've found that shine serum (I think I use Garnier Fructis. Again, a forum suggestion!) works a little better than argan oil for me.

-I've switched from shampoo/conditioner to baking soda/vinegar. This was a huge improvement for me and has made it somewhat more consistent day-to-day!

-actual honest-to-goodness curlers like in an old-timey movie (not the kind with heat)! This is a giant pain b/c they take forever to put up and dry, so I don't do it very often, but when I do, it makes my hair a million percent sleeker (I didn't even know this was a benefit of curlers) and allows me to choose the level of curly-to-wavy I want. This is the closest thing to a magic fix I've found, other than taking forever.
avatar
Enail
Admin

Posts : 3312
Reputation : 1603
Join date : 2014-09-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What to do about hair

Post by Prajnaparamita on Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:12 pm

Enail wrote:I've got very similar hair to you. And, while there are some big differences in our hair goals (I actively don't want something too feminine), it sounds like we're both trying for something a little neater and more intentional.

Neater and more intentional sounds pretty damn accurate! I can dye it pink and put all the bows and ribbons in it once I can just get it to stay in a consistent shape... innocent

Enail wrote:
-Lately I've gone with encouraging curl rather than trying to push it towards the straighter side of wavy, and while that's sort of inherently wilder, it seems easier to get something smooth, intentional and & non-frizzy that way.

Me too! There were many sad, self-conscious years in high school spent trying to straighten it out before I eventually realized that was never gonna happen.

Enail wrote:
-curl creme (?I think that's what it's called. I'll check next time I'm near it)

-I've found that shine serum (I think I use Garnier Fructis. Again, a forum suggestion!) works a little better than argan oil for me.

Oh, if you could get me the names of those and how you apply them it would be much appreciated, thank you!

Enail wrote:
-I've switched from shampoo/conditioner to baking soda/vinegar. This was a huge improvement for me and has made it somewhat more consistent day-to-day!

Aaaaahhhh... What? Shocked That sounds kinda... Nasty. Do it work? My hair soaks up conditioner, I don't know what I'd do without it...

Enail wrote:
-actual honest-to-goodness curlers like in an old-timey movie (not the kind with heat)! This is a giant pain b/c they take forever to put up and dry, so I don't do it very often, but when I do, it makes my hair a million percent sleeker (I didn't even know this was a benefit of curlers) and allows me to choose the level of curly-to-wavy I want. This is the closest thing to a magic fix I've found, other than taking forever.

Oooh, I just got some too! I've been trying to figure out which curler size is optimal for what I want, (I think the second smallest ones give nice curls--the smallest ones made me look like Shirley Temple, and the bigger ones didn't seem to do anything at all) but they're wicked uncomfortable to sleep in so I often haven't bothered. Do you have any recommended brands/styles for those? I bought some really cheap foam + shitty plastic snap ones, and while given their infrequent use I dunno if I'll want to invest in something better, but if it might make using them a lot more pleasant, potentially.

_________________
Foster! It saves lives! And kittens! People will just give you kittens! For free!
avatar
Prajnaparamita

Posts : 402
Reputation : 232
Join date : 2015-02-05

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What to do about hair

Post by reboot on Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:29 pm

I have similar hair but it is so long that it is weighted to manageability. However, my aunts, cousins, mom, etc always used these: http://www.ehow.com/how_4488294_curl-hair-using-cloth-twists.html

Now this was mostly because we were poor, but they do work beautifully and are easy to sleep on
avatar
reboot
Moderator of "Other Relationships" and "Gender, Identity and Society"

Posts : 2514
Reputation : 1005
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What to do about hair

Post by Enail on Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:06 pm

Prajnaparamita wrote:

Enail wrote:
-curl creme (?I think that's what it's called. I'll check next time I'm near it)

-I've found that shine serum (I think I use Garnier Fructis. Again, a forum suggestion!) works a little better than argan oil for me.

Oh, if you could get me the names of those and how you apply them it would be much appreciated, thank you!

Okay, it's Garnier Fructis Anti-frizz Shine Serum. I think they've changed the product name a bit since I bought it (it was an old product of my wife's that she didn't like and was hanging around the house for years), but I'm pretty sure it's still called a serum and comes in a pump bottle.

And Mark Anthony Strictly Curls Curl Defining Lotion.  I've never tried another one, so I have no idea if it's a good one or if there are better.

I wash, hand dry with an old t-shirt just to not-dripping, then comb my fingers through a little, then put a small amount of the curl lotion and run it through with my fingers, then the same with the shine.


Enail wrote:
-I've switched from shampoo/conditioner to baking soda/vinegar. This was a huge improvement for me and has made it somewhat more consistent day-to-day!

Aaaaahhhh... What?  Shocked That sounds kinda... Nasty. Do it work? My hair soaks up conditioner, I don't know what I'd do without it...

I started b/c my wife, who has hair much like mine but very long, was avoiding some chemicals that are in most shampoos (there's some surprisingly nasty stuff in there!) and tried it and loved it and became a scary proselytizing convert. She took a little while for it to start doing good things for her hair, but I liked it first time I tried it, and I've recommended it to a few other people who've all liked it first time.

The baking soda cleans it (it's a pretty classic cleaning product), and then for some reason the vinegar conditions. You can find all sorts of rabidly enthusiastic websites explaining why, but I don't really care why, so I can't tell you Razz I used to be a major conditioner user, and I was really picky about which conditioners, too, but I find the baking soda/vinegar thing leaves it just as or more conditioned-feeling. I feel like I totally wasted my money all those years of buying fancy conditioner now!

If you're feeling daring and want to give it a try, I do 2 tablespoons baking soda dissolved in 2 cups water, pour it over the hair and massage your scalp a bit. Rinse really well. Then 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar (you can use white if you don't have) in 2 cups water, pour it over and let it sit a bit. Then rinse sparingly with cold water. It will smell like vinegar for a little while while wet, but it evaporates by the time it's dry.


Enail wrote:
-actual honest-to-goodness curlers like in an old-timey movie (not the kind with heat)! This is a giant pain b/c they take forever to put up and dry, so I don't do it very often, but when I do, it makes my hair a million percent sleeker (I didn't even know this was a benefit of curlers) and allows me to choose the level of curly-to-wavy I want. This is the closest thing to a magic fix I've found, other than taking forever.

Oooh, I just got some too! I've been trying to figure out which curler size is optimal for what I want, (I think the second smallest ones give nice curls--the smallest ones made me look like Shirley Temple, and the bigger ones didn't seem to do anything at all) but they're wicked uncomfortable to sleep in so I often haven't bothered. Do you have any recommended brands/styles for those? I bought some really cheap foam + shitty plastic snap ones, and while given their infrequent use I dunno if I'll want to invest in something better, but if it might make using them a lot more pleasant, potentially.

I'd try reboot's suggestion, as I don't like the ones I've got much (velcro curlers. Kind of scary if you mess up!). I might do the same. Thanks, reboot!
avatar
Enail
Admin

Posts : 3312
Reputation : 1603
Join date : 2014-09-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What to do about hair

Post by thatdarncass on Sun May 17, 2015 1:09 pm

I have naturally curly hair too, and have spent years figuring it out. Thankfully there are a lot more resources out there now, as well as products! To cut down on the frizz/dryness, you should read up and switch to the "curly girl method":
http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/no-poo/the-curly-girl-method-for-coily-hair/

Cutting out any products (especially shampoos) with sulfates, etc. has really made a difference to my hair. Those things strip the natural moisture, which curly hair especially needs. That site has a ton of information on curly hair, including some info on the science behind it and why you need to use products without all the junk in them. I personally use products from the Deva Curl line (can be found in places like Ulta or Sephora), but there's a bunch of other products listed on that website that fit into the 'curly girl' parameters for all price ranges. You just have to try a few and see what works for you.

The other thing I would suggest is getting it cut at a salon that specializes in curly hair. They should be cutting it dry. There are salons certified in the Deva Curl technique popping up all over the place, and some that are not affiliated but follow the same methods.
http://www.devacurl.com/salon-stylist-search.html
avatar
thatdarncass

Posts : 4
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2015-05-16

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What to do about hair

Post by thatdarncass on Sun May 17, 2015 1:14 pm

One more thing:
If you are not wanting to emphasize your natural curls, and instead want it 'straighter', you can go to a salon and get a keratin treatment done. Google search it. It doesn't permanently damage your hair, and lasts 4-6 months. The downside is it's expensive, and it doesn't embrace your natural beautiful curls!
avatar
thatdarncass

Posts : 4
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2015-05-16

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What to do about hair

Post by Prajnaparamita on Sun May 17, 2015 1:32 pm

Thanks for the suggestions--I've actually come into my own care routine now, which really seems to be working. I shampoo and condition my hair as normal, but while it's drip-drying, I part my hair and then dab the part line with a little bit of coconut oil. I find just using a little bit there makes my part stay in place and weighs down the top of my head, so I don't have flyaways yet doesn't leave it greasy. That plus the humidity coming back into the air and my hair is behaving itself again! Smile

Cass, thanks for giving me the pointer to Devacurl salons. I've been salon-hopping for a while, and I love what the last woman I saw did with my color, but my god she had no idea how to treat curly hair! She went after me immediately with a full blast of the blowdryer and it looked awful! Most places have the common sense to offer to only defuse dry just a little, and then listen when I decline, so holy heck... I live in something of a rural area, so the only affiliated salon is a fair bit away, but I'll try to see if I can get there sometime.

_________________
Foster! It saves lives! And kittens! People will just give you kittens! For free!
avatar
Prajnaparamita

Posts : 402
Reputation : 232
Join date : 2015-02-05

View user profile

Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum