Ethics of approaching women

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Post by BasedBuzzed on Fri Apr 03, 2015 12:59 pm

eselle28 wrote:
BasedBuzzed wrote:Mean Internet People can find this site(or at least DNL Prime) at anytime, screencap everything and do a pile-on on the more volatile targets. The chance is slim, but it helps to mentally strategize what you're going to do if such a thing happens.

As a mod, I would ban that person. As for forum members, I strongly suggest that anyone who sees something like that going on should press the Report button. There are a lot of more fractious places on the internet that tolerate a bit of trolling, but I think we'd shut it down pretty quickly here.

Perhaps it's worthy to spin this part off to a separate thread, but I imagined the pile-on would happen on Prime, or on social media, not on this forum itself, unless part of a larger forum invasion.

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Post by reboot on Fri Apr 03, 2015 1:09 pm

Enail wrote:I actually have thought that a good rule of thumb for approaching in a way that keeps in mind that women are people would be "would you try and chat with a guy in this situation?"  (plus relevant safety concerns). If used honestly, this would allow for differences in personality and local social norms, and adjust to context.

That is a really good rule of thumb for people who are uncertain about when to approach. I would add an addendum, "Would you say ____________" to a man in this situation. If you would not comment on a man's appearance in a situation, do not comment on a woman's, if you would not ask a man for a recommendation, do not ask a woman, etc.. This only applies to your FIRST statement, after that you just go with the conversational flow and build the flirt.

Also, this only applies to people who are uncertain about nonverbal cues and/or reading other's humor/interests without knowing them well. Obviously if you are good with flirty banter and have been successful, ignore the above rules.
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Post by Guest on Fri Apr 03, 2015 2:46 pm

readertorider wrote:I've definitely seen men talking to/meeting other men in public (in the US), but then it's usually at leisure type activities--sports stadiums, bars, networking events (or if there's a cool car/bike/gun/bow/gadget in evidence)--where a common interest can be almost assumed. In Whisp's locker room and jury duty examples too there's a basis for connection.


-ahem- Just to be clear, those were my examples, bud. Razz

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Post by readertorider on Fri Apr 03, 2015 3:32 pm

The Mikey wrote:
readertorider wrote:I've definitely seen men talking to/meeting other men in public (in the US), but then it's usually at leisure type activities--sports stadiums, bars, networking events (or if there's a cool car/bike/gun/bow/gadget in evidence)--where a common interest can be almost assumed. In Whisp's locker room and jury duty examples too there's a basis for connection.

-ahem- Just to be clear, those were my examples, bud. Razz
Oh, really sorry about that. Editing now. Headsmack
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