Mixed messages and trying to move on [adv]

Go down

Mixed messages and trying to move on [adv] Empty Mixed messages and trying to move on [adv]

Post by Sweaterweather on Thu Apr 09, 2015 2:31 am

A few months ago, a guy from overseas contacted me on OKC.  I wasn't expecting anything because of the distance, but we had excellent chemistry (better than much of what I have locally) and continued to talk and Skype on occasion.  He was pretty outgoing, straightforward in his interest, and very communicative--no questioning or uncertainty on my part.  We had a lapse in contact, but reconnected afterwards--still flirtatious, but less so than initially.  Since then, he's shyer than before (which doesn't bother me), but this is also paired with less communication and more ambiguity, which has worried me (as my jerk brain is more than happy to fill the vacuum).  

I recently sent him a message asking for a Skype chat to figure things out--he responded quickly and suggested a day to talk. It didn't occur and I got an apology with a plausible excuse the following day (but it's not the first time such a thing happened).  We have texted once since--he wasn't curt or dismissive in his replies and asked me questions, but no discussion to reschedule our talk.  For now, I'm holding out for him to initiate something, as I've initated contact the past few times and I don't know where the line crossing into clueless or crazy territory is.  

My gut is telling me two contradictory things: "he's just not that into me" so I should move on AND that I shouldn't bail over what is probably just a misunderstanding because we're both not using our words---it's keeping me from acting in either direction.  Suggestions?

Sweaterweather

Posts : 2
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2015-04-05

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Mixed messages and trying to move on [adv] Empty Re: Mixed messages and trying to move on [adv]

Post by reboot on Thu Apr 09, 2015 7:57 am

I think you made the right move to leave it up to him to reschedule. To me, the not bringing up a new time for a Skype chat could be a soft no, unless he mentioned being crazy busy or something. And even then it could be a soft no. Think of the Skype chat as a date. If a person canceled an inperson date and did not reschedule, you would not continue to ask for a reschedule. You would leave it up to the person who canceled.

So I would move on and meet other people. If he gets in touch at a later date and you are still interested, super. If not, it was fun while it lasted.
reboot
reboot
Moderator of "Other Relationships" and "Gender, Identity and Society"

Posts : 2514
Reputation : 1005
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Mixed messages and trying to move on [adv] Empty Re: Mixed messages and trying to move on [adv]

Post by Sweaterweather on Thu Apr 09, 2015 11:39 pm

Thank you! The Skype chat/date equivalency was exactly the reminder I needed to get off my fence of wishful thinking so I can start to move on.

Sweaterweather

Posts : 2
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2015-04-05

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Mixed messages and trying to move on [adv] Empty Re: Mixed messages and trying to move on [adv]

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum