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LMGTFY: Random questions thread!

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Post by litterature Mon Feb 15, 2016 4:52 pm

eselle28 wrote:
litterature wrote:By the way, what do you think about publishing screenshots of IM convos where someone expresses bigoted opinions? Is it unethical, provided you remove all personal information? I recently ran into trouble for criticising an acquaintance who had randomly played the #notallcis card in an absurd context where gender wasn't part of the discussion at all.
In a large, anonymous internet setting, I think it's fine. Frankly, I think that unless people have some power to do that, it ends up being very hard for them to document abusive behavior to those who don't share their experiences.

If the situation is more along the lines of emailing a couple of friends, posting the messages on Facebook, or sharing them in a small internet community where the person will see their own words being posted and others might identify them by grammar and subject matter alone, then I think it should be considered to be the same as calling someone out by name. That doesn't mean it's never appropriate, because sometimes bad behavior needs to be disclosed so people can make decisions about how they maintain their relationships with the person in question, but I think the same ethical consideration apply and I'd say that kind of disclosure is probably best done without any attempt to anonymize.

Thanks for your answer! I posted them on my Twitter account, which I thought was a pretty anonymous place, but unfortunately they found my account, dug the 3-week-old tweet up and tried to start a frankly pointless flame war. Today they decided to bring it into real life in a pretty stupid way, but I'll post about it in the Rants thread.
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Post by Guest Sat Feb 27, 2016 1:18 pm

Pagliacci wrote:I've met a lot of people in my life who seem to see everything as one big joke, and react to everything with on snide, sarcastic remark after another after another after another.

There's something I've always wanted to ask those people: I've been in horrible pain my entire life. Is that a joke?
If your pain is a joke, then it's humour is lost on me. I suspect the same is true for a non-insignificant amount of people.

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Post by litterature Mon Mar 07, 2016 11:54 pm

Getting a day job presenting in a normative way
Unionising
Presenting however I want

Do you think this is a reasonable course to follow?
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Post by Werel Tue Mar 08, 2016 2:07 am

I think attaining some measure of job security before risking your job, even if that risk shouldn't exist and is shitty and regressive, is always pretty reasonable.
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Post by BasedBuzzed Tue Mar 08, 2016 8:04 am

If this is from the perspective of guilt, or someone giving you shit over, "making a bargain with an oppressive system", your survival will always come first. Whether one has the ability of being able to present however one wants from Day One often simply comes down to geographical area or luxury of education. Besides, getting a job, colleagues getting to know you and then presenting yourself as you want to when you have security might even change some perspectives that otherwise wouldn't have changed if they didn't know you (not to say "do it for great tolerance!", more as a pre-emptive defense against any git who accuses you of collaborating).

Ignore this post entirely if the question didn't come from that place.

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Post by litterature Fri Mar 11, 2016 10:00 pm

Thank you!! Both answers are helpful. The question did partly come from that place, yes!
Now on to job hunting :>
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Post by caliseivy Tue Jun 21, 2016 5:15 pm

Does anyone here have any experience cooking on a smooth surface ceramic oven top?
(Like this?)
Picture is kind of large, sorry:

I've used ours a few times, but at some point I'd like to be able to make pancakes, but the manual says not to use cast iron skillets and different articles I've read say not to use teflon or non-stick pans. I'm just trying to find a pan that won't break and won't damage the oven surface, and I won't have trouble with the food sticking to the pan if I don't use enough butter. Maybe someone here has ideas?
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Post by Werel Tue Jun 21, 2016 5:38 pm

Huh, I've had a few apartments with that kind of stove, and I've always just treated it like a regular electric range. Teflon pans and all, no problem; only thing I know for a fact to avoid is putting glass kettles directly on the ceramic plates. But I have no idea how those appliances fared in the long run, maybe I ruined up all my landlords' stoves. Uh-oh
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Post by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2016 11:28 am

In what social contexts is it acceptable to do the cheek kiss as a greeting gesture?

LMGTFY: Random questions thread! - Page 7 Giphy

Is this ever done between strangers/acquaintances? Is there a regional aspect to this where it's appropriate in some places, but not so much in others?

Thanks.

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Post by Enail Wed Jul 27, 2016 11:50 am

It's very regional; AFAIK it's basically not done at all in North America except in fairly specific circles like theatre, and I think probably a bit in general in Quebec, though I can't recall seeing any particular instance so maybe not. In France, I've gotten it from people I didn't know very well but had some level of connection to, like friends of friends. Seems to be done more freely between two women than between a woman and a man or two men, as tends to be true for a lot of platonic social touching.
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Post by Prajnaparamita Wed Jul 27, 2016 12:08 pm

HermitTheToad wrote:In what social contexts is it acceptable to do the cheek kiss as a greeting gesture?

Is this ever done between strangers/acquaintances? Is there a regional aspect to this where it's appropriate in some places, but not so much in others?

Thanks.

My grandparents are French, and so they greet me with the double cheek kiss, and very much appreciate it when I respond in return (which, you know, as an uptight American I really struggle to do, lol!) In the south of France where they live, when I was introduced to friends or neighbors of theirs, I was expected to do the cheek kiss on greeting, even though such people were total strangers to me. However in the states there's really no time that I've ever encountered it

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Post by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2016 2:17 pm

But what about what Chris Pine does at 2:38?  scratch


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Post by Enail Wed Jul 27, 2016 3:07 pm

My guess would be that film is another circle like theatre, where the norms are different from the population at large?
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Post by litterature Wed Jul 27, 2016 4:21 pm

HermitTheToad wrote:In what social contexts is it acceptable to do the cheek kiss as a greeting gesture?

LMGTFY: Random questions thread! - Page 7 Giphy

Is this ever done between strangers/acquaintances? Is there a regional aspect to this where it's appropriate in some places, but not so much in others?

Thanks.

It's very common in Europe in general, or at least France and anywhere south of France, but the number of kisses varies regionally, and yes, you do it ESPECIALLY when you are first introduced to someone. You don't do it with people you see on a daily basis - believe it or not, there's a slightly formal way of doing it (but not formal enough for business settings afaik, where handshakes are the standard regardless of gender) and you're not supposed to do it in an affectionate way unless you're actually affectionate towards that person, in which case by all means go for it (for example a good friend you see like every two weeks for drinks or something, and definitely go crazy if it's a good friend you haven't seen in a long time.)

FTR, you don't actually have to kiss if you're uneasy about it - you can press your cheek against the other person's cheek and do an air kiss (in fact that's what's happening in the gif you posted if you look closely). It comes across as a little cold, but it's OK, especially if you've got lipstick on. I don't really recommend handshaking if you're a woman, though, because it's rather standoffish (can be useful in certain situations but guys never get the memo anyway, so...)
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Post by reboot Wed Jul 27, 2016 6:05 pm

HermitTheToad wrote:In what social contexts is it acceptable to do the cheek kiss as a greeting gesture?

LMGTFY: Random questions thread! - Page 7 Giphy

Is this ever done between strangers/acquaintances? Is there a regional aspect to this where it's appropriate in some places, but not so much in others?

Thanks.

Here in Turkey you kiss each cheek once, right then left. You generally do it as greetings and goodbyes and even with coworkers you know for a while, but are not friends with. Both genders do it to both genders which surprised the shit out of me the first time I came here, being a Muslim country and all
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Post by Guest Sat Aug 27, 2016 10:50 am

It's not possible to change my username, right?

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Post by Enail Sat Aug 27, 2016 2:35 pm

Mods can change it. Just let us know what you'd like, and post in the intros thread to let people know about your new name.
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Post by Wondering Tue Aug 30, 2016 12:57 am

Question for those of you who are settled with job, housing, etc., where you are in charge of buying groceries for the household (even if that's just yourself). Do you do weekly grocery shopping, or do you buy daily/multiple times a week?

I do weekly shopping, as did my mom and my husband's mom. But talking to people my age and situation, my husband and I seem to be the exception rather than the rule in doing it. So I'm just curious what other people do.

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Post by eselle28 Tue Aug 30, 2016 1:35 am

Interesting question! I go to the grocery store three or four times a week and know half the people who work there by name. My mom and grandma went once a week like yours did, and my other grandma went more like once every few weeks. I'm not sure it's entirely attributable a generational difference, though.

I picked up the habit in New York, when I had a grocery store down the stairs and ten feet to the left of me. I've kept it up partly because I now have a grocery store that's right on my way home. The other reason I still bother is because meal planning and making a grocery list are both hard tasks for me to accomplish for some baffling reason, which I find pretty embarrassing. If I try, I'll usually end up ordering pizza or eating soup for a week while I procrastinate. If I tell myself I only need to pick up what I'm actually cooking tonight and that I can always go back the next day if I forget an ingredient, I'll actually do it.
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Post by waxingjaney Tue Aug 30, 2016 8:40 am

I drive past the grocery store every day, so I stop in whenever I need a few things. I did grow up with the big-trip style involving 2-3 full carts. IIRC you're doing the stay-at-home-mom thing, so the scheduled expedition makes more sense for your situation.
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Post by Enail Tue Aug 30, 2016 11:45 am

I'm not doing it now, but when I did, I usually did a once-a-week main shop, but like Eselle, I have a problem with meal planning (hate doing it - I don't know why, it's just one of those chores that takes more brainpower and feels like more work than it should be -, can't reliably predict how many spoons we'll have for cooking this week, my wife sometimes just randomly can't stand the thought of eating X a particular day or gets something she does want to eat into her head and wants to make something different), and I'm also prone to forgetting to get a major ingredient or two, so I'd usually land up stopping somewhere to pick up a few things every few days.

We have a grocery store right across the street, and I've been known to have to sheepishly go there as many as 3 times for one meal for forgot to get X/Y's gone bad already/this new recipe is turning out kind of underwhelming and would be better if we added some Z.

My mom does do more of a proper once a week shop, but she did still land up dropping by somewhere to pick up a few more things sometimes. And my parents aren't as close to millions of stores on the way as I am. I feel like there might be a generational component, but I agree with Eselle that there's probably a location factor as well.
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Post by Wondering Tue Aug 30, 2016 1:56 pm

I'm work-from-home, but yeah, in the house most of the time. But back when I was commuting to work and we didn't have a kid yet, my husband and I still did once a week shopping for the most part. It was our Friday night date. Wink

I'm also not good at meal planning. My husband and I were just talking about how both our moms, who were stay at home, would actually plan out their meals for the week. And then go shop for them. I don't do that. I may decide one meal I want to make that week, but in general, I just keep a well stocked pantry. I generally cook in the Italian or American or Tex Mex cuisine realms, occasionally with some SE Asian or British, so I keep a lot of tomato and pasta products in my pantry. (I seriously have 15 kinds of pasta.) And we have a huge freezer in the garage, so I buy lots of products when they're on sale and keep them until I want to use them.

I have no idea what I'll be in the mood for when I go grocery shopping. So I just buy a variety for the pantry so it's there depending on mood or timing or energy. And hope my produce doesn't go bad. That's the main problem I have: Produce, especially fresh herbs, going bad before I use it up. I'd love to have a store downstairs or across the street to go buy produce just when I need it! Or to have a replicator to give me just the amount of produce I need at a time. Smile

I keep an old fashioned paper list on the fridge door and we write on it when we use something up in the fridge or take something out of the pantry or freezer. That way, things stay stocked. I agree, it is a lot of brain work. Emotional labor!

So, yeah, locational and situational more than generational, it seems. But I do appear to be the only person at the store using a paper list while I shop! I still can't think of a more convenient way to do that. Grin

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Post by reboot Tue Aug 30, 2016 11:59 pm

I still do paper list when I remember to bring the list. I aim to shop once a week, but do not do much meal planning. I seem to subsist on rice and some sort of protein, often canned tuna. The main thing I have to shop for every week is fresh fruit, veggie and yogurt because I bring lunch/breakfast/sometimes dinner to work every day. Some weeks, though, I am out of the basic elements of food and do not have time to shop, which results in some odd meal choices
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Post by Wondering Thu Nov 17, 2016 1:53 pm

Hey, so I keep getting password reset notifications that someone's requested a reset to my password on Wordpress, the account we used to use to comment on the DNL blog. So I figured I'd just go delete the account since I don't use it anymore, but I can't figure out how to get there since DNL is all Disqus now and all the Wordpress login info I find is for blog owner accounts, not commentor accounts. I used to just access it via a link on the DNL blog.

Can anyone point me in the right direction?

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Post by Enail Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:08 pm

I don't think DNL did used to use Wordpress, it was Intense Debate.
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