Expanding my social circle and meeting more women

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Expanding my social circle and meeting more women Empty Expanding my social circle and meeting more women

Post by CP96 on Sat May 16, 2015 10:03 am

So, due to my current circumstances I've recently realised that there are no women in my life - beyond family members - who I interact with in any way on even a semi-regular basis. Nor do I have any real avenues to meet women regularly outside of cashiers and shop assistants and the like. My workplace is 99.9% male and in any case dating within work is a massive no-no. My only social hobby (brazilian jiujitsu) is also overwhelmingly male. My other hobbies (predominantly reading and working out) are solitary pursuits. I've heard of meeting women at the gym before but A) I don't use a gym, I exercise outside and B) training time is training time. I'd be annoyed if someone interrupted my workout for a chat and I wouldn't do the same to someone else.

So I've been trying to think of other social activities I could try to get involved in to expand my overall social circle and meet more women. Not even just for the sake of dating specifically although that is definitely part of it; I don't think it's necessarily all that socially or psychologically healthy to never interact with one half of the human species. I asked this once on the old forum and got some good suggestions that ultimately didn't pan out.

Things I've thought about or had suggested to me:
Vounteering - I'm interested in giving this a try but there are some major practical issues. Namely, my work often involves traveling away at very little notice for unspecified amounts of time, or simply just working evenings or very early mornings at zero notice. Most of my local volunteering opportunites that interest me require a certain level of commitment that I simply can't offer.
Dancing, ballroom or otherwise - just doesn't interest me, sorry. I honestly wish that I was interested in dancing 'cause it seems like I'm missing out on a lot of fun but it just doesn't grab me at all.
Evening classes - see volunteering above re: inability to commit.
Book groups - what I've been able to find locally all seem to skew much, much older than me (I'm 28).

So I'm trying to think of some sort of casual social activity that's likely to include a decent proportion of women; something that doesn't really matter if I miss the odd session here and there, and that if I randomly disappear for a few months I can step back into the swing of things without too much hassle when I get back. There must be dozens of acitivities like this but I'm currently drawing a blank. I'm open to any and all suggestions. Thanks in advance.


Last edited by CP96 on Sat May 16, 2015 11:45 am; edited 1 time in total
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Expanding my social circle and meeting more women Empty Re: Expanding my social circle and meeting more women

Post by reboot on Sat May 16, 2015 10:48 am

You could also do running clubs which tend to be serious about the running but socialize before and after. If running is part of your training, of course. I used to do Hash House Harriers in every foreign posting because it was an instant social group. Some places skewed more male or more female, but it was never more than 2:3 either way.

Another option are MeetUps which require no commitment. People no show or show without notice all the time. Pick ones around activities that interest you and go when you can.

Drop in classes like cooking , photography, or painting are another option. Where I live you can just show or at most register 1 hr before.
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Post by jcorozza on Sat May 16, 2015 11:49 am

Seconding meetups. The meetup crowd in general seems to skew younger, and I know that in both places I've lived recently, there were a ton of book groups, and a ton of outdoorsy/exercise oriented groups.
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Post by CP96 on Sat May 16, 2015 12:01 pm

reboot wrote:You could also do running clubs which tend to be serious about the running but socialize before and after. If running is part of your training, of course. I used to do Hash House Harriers in every foreign posting because it was an instant social group. Some places skewed more male or more female, but it was never more than 2:3 either way.

Another option are MeetUps which require no commitment. People no show or show without notice all the time. Pick ones around activities that interest you and go when you can.

Drop in classes like cooking , photography, or painting are another option. Where I live you can just show or at most register 1 hr before.

I've just googled Hash House Harriers and that looks really interesting. I don't usually enjoy running much but that's largely because A) I find solo running boring as hell and B) I work with a load of ultra-fit, highly competitive self-described alpha-males who have to turn everything into a competition. Thanks for that suggestion, I'll definitely look into what's available in my area.
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Post by Archetype694 on Sat May 16, 2015 7:25 pm

I would also vouch for meetups.

There should be a few groups that strike your interest and meet your criteria. Personally I wound up joining an improv group from meetup which could be considered odd since I'm very shy when it comes to meeting new people. However I have found and it's been a boon in allowing me to work on my conversation skills and forcing myself out of my comfort zone.

YMMV but for the group I am in is roughly split between men and women. It's fun in that I get to interact with a wide variety of people in sometimes zany situations. We often go out after class or do group events together. Last week after class a small group of us went out for drinks, the group was myself and one other guy and five other women from class. Normally this would be a problem for me as my shyness kicks into overdrive when I am in a group of people I don't know well or happen to be in the company of someone I find attractive, however in this case that did not happen. I am happy to say a good time was had by all, I was able to make the group laugh a few times, and even received a compliment at the end of the night. Smile

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Expanding my social circle and meeting more women Empty Re: Expanding my social circle and meeting more women

Post by reboot on Sat May 16, 2015 7:28 pm

CP96 wrote:
reboot wrote:You could also do running clubs which tend to be serious about the running but socialize before and after. If running is part of your training, of course. I used to do Hash House Harriers in every foreign posting because it was an instant social group. Some places skewed more male or more female, but it was never more than 2:3 either way.

Another option are MeetUps which require no commitment. People no show or show without notice all the time. Pick ones around activities that interest you and go when you can.

Drop in classes like cooking , photography, or painting are another option. Where I live you can just show or at most register 1 hr before.

I've just googled Hash House Harriers and that looks really interesting. I don't usually enjoy running much but that's largely because A) I find solo running boring as hell and B) I work with a load of ultra-fit, highly competitive self-described alpha-males who have to turn everything into a competition. Thanks for that suggestion, I'll definitely look into what's available in my area.

There may be other less serious running or fitness groups like Hash. I occasionally join a cross country running game of "tag". It is pretty fun and a crazy good workout. Another friend does actual hound and hares where one team chases the other.
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Post by thatdarncass on Sun May 17, 2015 1:33 pm

I (fourth?) meetups.
http://www.meetup.com/

I've been to a number of them, ranging from happy hours or game nights with my friend or ones to make couple friends with my husband. There are many people that go solo to the meetup groups as well (I just prefer to bring a friend to a new social situation). I've met a lot of fun, interesting people, had awesome conversations, and made new friends through the groups. The best thing about them is that basically everyone is in the same boat-- complete strangers looking to meet new people. It takes a lot of the pressure off the social situation and gives you an instant conversation starter ("Is this your first meetup group? What other groups/events have you gone to?").
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Expanding my social circle and meeting more women Empty Re: Expanding my social circle and meeting more women

Post by jcorozza on Sun May 17, 2015 7:03 pm

thatdarncass wrote:I (fourth?) meetups.  
http://www.meetup.com/

I've been to a number of them, ranging from happy hours or game nights with my friend or ones to make couple friends with my husband.  There are many people that go solo to the meetup groups as well (I just prefer to bring a friend to a new social situation).  I've met a lot of fun, interesting people, had awesome conversations, and made new friends through the groups.  The best thing about them is that basically everyone is in the same boat-- complete strangers looking to meet new people.  It takes a lot of the pressure off the social situation and gives you an instant conversation starter ("Is this your first meetup group?  What other groups/events have you gone to?").  

This is a good idea if possible. If not, it's good to pick something with an activity built in (board games, hiking, volleyball) rather than ones where the meetup is just hanging out at a bar. I know for me it's harder to focus on being anxious when I'm concentrating on learning board game rules or keeping my eye on the ball.
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