Switching Therapists

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Switching Therapists

Post by The Wisp on Tue May 19, 2015 4:56 pm

So I saw my old therapist today as she has returned from maternity leave. The whole thing felt weird, and I realized I felt much more comfortable and open with the guy I was seeing on an interim basis (who I cannot see for more than 6 sessions a year, alas, because he works through the school). I don't think it was just awkwardness of coming back, I think I felt similarly before, I just had nothing to compare it to so I wrote it off as anxiety or whatever. I think part of it is that my old therapist is a woman, which makes it harder to be open, and probably just some intangibles about her personality, too.

So, anyway, I'm almost certain I don't want to go to therapy with her anymore (though I will sleep on that before I pull the trigger) but I'm feeling weird about it. I've switched therapists before, and I know it's not weird and I'm just one of many clients to them, but I still feel a weird loyalty to therapists and feel really weird switching to a new one. I find it to be a bit hard emotionally.

I'll probably send her an email in the next few days.

Anybody have any similar experiences? Can relate?
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Re: Switching Therapists

Post by caliseivy on Tue May 19, 2015 5:16 pm

I've had to switch therapists many times over the years, so I can relate to those odd feelings. It's not exactly like losing/giving up a friend, but because of the time you spend with them and all the sharing it's hard to see it as just a therapist and client relationship.
I've tried to remind myself that I don't need to feel bad about switching because it's for the best for both of us; best for me to find a better fit where I can get the most out of our sessions without having anxiety or discomfort, and best for the therapist because they could be using that block of time with a client who was a better fit and could benefit more from working with them than I am.
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Re: Switching Therapists

Post by Guest on Wed May 20, 2015 1:30 pm

Hell I've been using a school therapist, and she straight up told me I wasn't trying hard enough and that I was too lazy to ever improve. So I need a legit one and I have no idea where to look. Checked a couple local sites and every one of them seem like snake oil salesmen/women.

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Re: Switching Therapists

Post by nearly_takuan on Wed May 20, 2015 7:36 pm

It's outside the portion of my budget (both time and money) I'm willing to use on this to see more than one therapist per week, but I'm kind of wondering how else I would know if I should try other therapists. I've only had one visit so far and it was pretty much just going over my biography (which is also something I'm not looking forward to doing multiple times in the same week). Subsequent visits will likely be different, so if I was gonna try out three shrinks at once I'd probably have to schedule nine visits just to figure out which one to keep (if any).

Is it rude to ask for a "break" somewhat early on for the purpose of trying someone else and making comparisons? Is it less rude if that explanation is given, or more?
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Re: Switching Therapists

Post by Enail on Wed May 20, 2015 8:56 pm

Nearly Takuan: I have no idea if it's rude or if it's better with or without explanation, but you could also consider just scheduling your appointments every two or three weeks to start off with and rotating until you think you know which one you like best. From what I've heard, it's not uncommon for it to be pretty obvious that you prefer one over another, even from the first biographical appointment. Once you've got a comparison point, you might make a decision more quickly than you expect.


Glides: Jerkbrain check, please. Did she actually say you're too lazy to ever improve, or did she say that if you're not willing to work on X or something specific like that, you won't ever improve? If it's the former, definitely move on.  

It might help to go through a locator site like this government one instead of looking up individual therapists' sites. There are also organizations that may offer referrals or a directory like this one. You could also look into different types of therapy and see what you think might suit you best to guide your search.
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