Dealing With Body Changes

[Lemminkainen]

To my confusion, my body seems to have decided, at the age of 23, that puberty isn't quite over for me. Over the past year or so, I've gained about 15-20 pounds (~7 kilos), my chest and shoulders seem to have expanded quite a bit, and both my upper body and my legs have become significantly more muscular. (For context-- I was previously just really thin-- I was 6'1 and weight about 145 pounds). I've been exercising more than I have in the past, but I wasn't trying to put on weight or expand my muscle mass. This process still seems to be ongoing.

Now, I don't think that this is a change that will hurt me all that much-- it's made me more conventionally attractive, my partner seems to love it, and all of my clothes still fit, albeit more tightly than they once did. But even though I know these things, and I know that this is a relatively small change in the grand scheme of things, I still feel strange in this body. It doesn't feel like it's mine. My feelings also have gotten tangled up in identity issues. I'm used to seeing myself as both a skinny bookish scholar-type and as a very not-conventionally-masculine-looking bisexual androgynous pretty boy. Most of my signature outfits are designed around one or both of these two archetypes, and I felt very comfortable with both of them-- they also fit my personality well. I worry that my changing body will make it harder for me to fulfill either of them.

So, I was wondering-- have any of you dealt with major body-changes that felt threatening on an identity level? How did you resolve the issues that came with them? What do you think that I should do about this? Thank you all!

[reboot]

Oh boy, I know what you mean. I am inching towards menopause and my body is turning into a babcia

I have always been stocky and strong, but had a distinctly feminine figure that is rapidly thickening in the waist. It clashes with my self-image because it makes me look old (to me that is). I might be able to control it a bit through eating less and exercising more, but there is only so much you can do to fight hormonal change.

I joke about giving up, getting my kerchief, support hose, and embracing my babciahood, but I do not really want that to be my identity. Yet fighting it is ultimately futile.

[Guest]

Before puberty I was so small and short I was taken to a paediatrician by my parents to check if there wasn't something wrong with me. Apparently I was that small.

During the last few years of high school going into University, my height shot up a bit levelling out at 5'8" (I think, haven't measured myself for years). However, my weight hasn't at all, and as of two weeks ago I'm a paltry 51kgs (112lbs). When I was a kid I was always the tiny kid that was treated like a baby, but now I'm the skinny guy that looks sickly all the time. I kinda am, what with iron deficient anaemia and all that, but my weight isn't helping. Neither is a pale complexion.

Anyway, it's been weird getting used to being 'tall' (comparatively speaking) but unhealthily thin. I won't lie, I haven't really worked it out yet. People pick up on my weight and general bony physique constantly so it's hard to just let it go. I ended up changing a lot of my wardrobe to match (and in some cases, hide) my physique, however. I looked at how important my general ensemble was to my identity for a long time before coming to that decision and found that I needed the change.

I suppose that's coming from a different angle; you seem to have decided your outfits and general look that you made for yourself suit you best and want to retain them. But, maybe looking into some new things that are similar may be worthwhile.

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