I ping as "girly". Would that be a problem?

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I ping as "girly". Would that be a problem? Empty I ping as "girly". Would that be a problem?

Post by Jayce on Wed Jul 01, 2015 7:02 am

So I read the latest article by The Doctor about things men do that make them less attractive, I do wear perfume a lot but its all women's perfume. Right now I wear Taylor Swift's wonderstruck all the time. I absolutely love the smell of it. It smells sweet, fruity and floral with top notes of raspberry, dewberry, green tea, freesia and apple blossom. Middle notes are: vanilla, honeysuckle and hibiscus. The base consists of: amber, musk, sandalwood and peach. Apparently it's a very very girly perfume. I don't think I have the problem of smelling bad, but one or two people have told me I smell girly. To the women on this board, what would you think if a guy smelled very girly? Has it ever happened before?

Generally I do signal stereotypical feminine-ness a bit. I do my eyebrows, I'm clean shaven, I like clothes shopping, I wear purple, pink or bright colors sometimes, I like being careful with presentation with my cooking, I wear tight fitted clothes (not "girly" but apparently it pings as "gay" to some people), I wear makeup regularly. However I'm not passive, and I have got around to practicing some positive aspects of masculine traits like having leadership skills, being willing to initiate. I have no idea about this but what would be a general/popular view women might have if a guy was considered girly/does girly things?

Source for the perfume notes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnUDrp8IIJo

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Post by reboot on Wed Jul 01, 2015 11:04 am

Some women will not like a more feminine presenting man, others will be into it. So basically like anything else, you will appeal to some, but not all, women
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Post by Perlandra on Wed Jul 01, 2015 1:41 pm

I wouldn't necessarily think of the perfume as anything meaningful gender-wise. I'd be more likely to assume you just used your mom's/sister's/gf's shampoo/body wash, and were a bit oblivious to the smell. As far as the other femme aspects of your presentation, they probably will be an issue for some women but not others. You might come across as gay (and therefore they assume you're offlimits), or they might assume you're an outright cross-dresser at least in private, etc. Other women might be really into you. It really depends on how far you're going with the femme look/smell, and the individual lady's tastes.

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Post by The Wisp on Wed Jul 01, 2015 1:45 pm

I think it really depends on the kind of woman you're looking for. This way of presenting yourself will be polarizing, but that can be better than being broadly appealing if the people you're looking for like it.

You may find, though, that it alienates the kind of woman you're looking for. If that's the case, you may have to change or tone down the presentation, examine if you can find other kinds of women attractive who will dig your presentation, or accept that you will have a harder time finding somebody.
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Post by reboot on Wed Jul 01, 2015 1:55 pm

The Wisp wrote:I think it really depends on the kind of woman you're looking for. This way of presenting yourself will be polarizing, but that can be better than being broadly appealing if the people you're looking for like it.

You may find, though, that it alienates the kind of woman you're looking for. If that's the case, you may have to change or tone down the presentation, examine if you can find other kinds of women attractive who will dig your presentation, or accept that you will have a harder time finding somebody.

Or if you are into women who are gender bendy (common in both and artsy scenes) play that shit up
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Post by rj3 on Wed Jul 01, 2015 5:02 pm

If you're making an effort to draw the interest of the elusive "median woman," then your current gender presentation may not work in your favor. That being said, there's no evidence in what you wrote that you adopted your look/smell in order to land dates with women. You're being you.

In practice, you will weed out women who aren't right for you because they don't like the things you do to make yourself feel good. Your pool is limited to a subset of women, but so is everyone's to a degree. The most important thing to know is where to dive in - reboot is right about gender-bendy art types as a place to start. Stay away from football tailgates and support groups for the people with extreme chemical sensitivities and you'll do great!

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