[no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

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[no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

Post by Guest on Fri Jul 10, 2015 10:31 am

This feels very inappropriate. Making private feelings public, that is.

I've been having some pretty consistent levels of ugly-feels.

Admittedly, some of it has to do with my being here. I wish that wasn't the case.

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Re: [no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

Post by celette482 on Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:22 am

Do you have someone IRL to talk about ugly-feels with?

I'm not one to advocate physical expression of ugly-feels (particularly angry ugly-feels) but I've found that the oeuvre of one Kelly Clarkson sung in private, as cliched as it might seem, is an excellent way of allowing some physical release of said ugly-feels.
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Re: [no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

Post by Enail on Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:31 am

Sorry to hear you're having lots of ugly-feels (though I like the word "ugly-feels," it describes that kind of feeling very well). Hope things feel better soon!
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Re: [no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

Post by reboot on Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:53 am

Cosigned that you need to find a release for the ugly feels (great phrase by the way). I release them trough hitting a punching bag, writing or painting/drawing/clay.
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Re: [no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

Post by Guest on Sat Jul 11, 2015 4:45 am

celette482 wrote:Do you have someone IRL to talk about ugly-feels with?

Not really. I keep my shit to myself.

On making this thread, I felt like wanting to vomit some bitterness at you peeps. That's evaporated somewhat now.

A lot of my bad-feels are made up of shame-like emotions and low-burn resentment instead of a more malicious and gnarly rage, so it doesn't feel like physical attempts to vent myself would work well. I mean, the fact that I've never really been angry enough to post in the 'Rants' thread should tell you something..

Sleeping it off seems to numb it reasonably well until the next episode, so...

reboot wrote:I release them trough hitting....

Oh, you must have great upper body strength..

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Re: [no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

Post by reboot on Sat Jul 11, 2015 7:58 am

HermitTheToad wrote:

reboot wrote:I release them trough hitting....

Oh, you must have great upper body strength..

Make that "through" not "trough" but yeah, I do. I have punched my knuckles bloody on the speed bag before. Then I learned how to tape and that does not happen as often.
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Re: [no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

Post by Guest on Tue Jul 14, 2015 6:02 am

This is a reply to a series of messages I posted on a free online 'counseling' website way back in February. This is the website: https://www.eheadspace.org.au/whats-eheadspace/what-we-do/

Hi [Hermit],

Thanks for sharing this information about your life right now. Sometimes just talking or writing about yourself and how you’re feeling can be so helpful. When we do this, we often slow our thought processes down a little and become able to reflect a little more deeply about what is happening. You really demonstrated this by how you were reflecting within your writing on what is happening in your life.

This is an important psychological process as this ability to “watch” our thoughts and feelings can help us to develop ways to respond to the thoughts and feelings that is both objective and helpful to us.

Have you ever had an experience when an emotion or thought has just seemed to take over you? Sometimes it is a clear feeling (like sadness or excitement or fear), other times it could be a flat, ambivalent sort of feeling and other times it could be a thought or theme of thoughts. This experience of becoming overwhelmed by a thought or feeling can be painful and unhelpful and this is a common human experience.

Having the skill of being able to “watch” these thoughts and feelings, provides us with a way to intervene in the process of it becoming overwhelming, with the goal not to stop the thought or feeling, but to manage how our minds respond to it.

In this context, I wonder if you can take a step back in your mind, and think about the question that you asked: is your life headed in the ‘right direction’?

To answer that question, you could perhaps think about what is the ‘right direction’.

One way to do this, is to imagine that you are an old man sitting back and looking at what he has done in his life. What sort of things do you want to recall? Are you a man who worked hard in a job he wasn’t too passionate about, but was able to build a nice house, drive a nice car, provide a high standard of living for his family? Are you a man who had a lower paying job that he loved because he valued doing the work he enjoyed and having more quality time with his family and friends? Are you a man that travelled? That wrote? That gave to charity or helped people? That did research or stand-up comedy or made sculptures out of old tin cans… your imagination has no limits here!

Doing this exercise honestly may really help you to be clear about what is the ‘right direction’ without being crowded by the expectations of others and by society. Every single person has a unique path in life and no two paths are the same, nor is one path better or worse than another. It is only for you to decide the direction that you want to take and only for you to know if this direction is right for you J

Allowing yourself to make mistakes and learn from them as you figure out this path is a helpful way to travel too. Self-kindness is a wonderful tool to use in the process of living life. This kindness and forgiveness you can show to yourself grows into something that permeates into the lives of those around you, but yet it seems to be something that many of us have difficulty developing within our own thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.

This can be a really important step in the process of developing closer friendships with people in remembering that most certainly you do have great things to offer to others. You are not a carbon copy of the person next to you and the things that make you yourself are inherently rich, wonderful and unique to you. This is definitely something that you have to offer to others in a friendship. Trust that this is the truth and let the thoughts that say otherwise just come and then move out the way of the thought that is most helpful for you. Create the thought that is kind and helpful and make an active decision to remember it and believe it. (…as long the thought doesn’t entail putting on a cape and flying away like Superman Wink )

I hope that this helps [Hermit]. Please feel free to log into our webchat, give us a buzz or send us another email to let us know how you went with this exercise or if you want to bounce off any ideas, reflections or questions.

Warm regards,


Seems like your run-of-the-mill response...

Thoughts?

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Re: [no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

Post by Enail on Tue Jul 14, 2015 11:41 am

What kind of thoughts are you looking for? If you want to know if it's a good exercise or not, I'd say the best way to find out is to try it and see!
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Re: [no adv] Boring topic titles are boring.

Post by Guest on Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:36 am

I've been thinking too much and so have been feeling, for lack of a different word, 'depressed'.



Can't wait to be a lesser exaggerated version of IT guy, to somebody.

-_-

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