How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by lonelyoffices on Mon Jul 27, 2015 1:32 pm

It seems like words often get in the way of communication.  This word may not be one of those most often guilty, but when it is poorly defined, it really mucks things up.  The range of different definitions might include event specific types of confidence, something more global, something necessarily based on past experience or something drawn from a more general feeling, and so on.  I think those differences and others can make discussion difficult, but those differences may reflect varying beliefs and may also inform them.  So maybe a discussion like this could reinforce functional ideas, and as well be a sort of back door into noticing some sticky, unhelpful beliefs.

So I'm not really looking for a consensus definition or in labeling some right and some wrong.  Maybe more an inquiry into how people perceive the idea of confidence, whether there is more agreement than I suspect, and if there are meaningful differences, how those impact people socially.  Also, I'd like to start with the assumption that many, though not all people across gender and orientation see confidence as attractive.

I'll offer my response later, assuming others respond.  Thanks.

lonelyoffices

Posts : 31
Reputation : 32
Join date : 2015-04-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by reboot on Mon Jul 27, 2015 1:43 pm

To me, confidence is the feeling of assurance that comes from appreciating your abilities, qualities, skills, etc.. In a social context it would mean appreciating and feeling sure of whatever it is that you think makes you worth knowing/getting to know.
reboot
reboot
Moderator of "Other Relationships" and "Gender, Identity and Society"

Posts : 2514
Reputation : 1005
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by jcorozza on Mon Jul 27, 2015 1:52 pm

This isn't quite what you asked - I agree with reboot, but want to add that for me, at leas, what separates confidence and arrogance is also being aware of your weaknesses as well, and being willing to ask for/accept help in those areas.
jcorozza
jcorozza

Posts : 460
Reputation : 191
Join date : 2015-03-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by reboot on Mon Jul 27, 2015 2:02 pm

jcorozza wrote:This isn't quite what you asked -  I agree with reboot, but want to add that for me, at leas, what separates confidence and arrogance is also being aware of your weaknesses as well, and being willing to ask for/accept help in those areas.  

Oh great point. Confidence means also seeing value in yourself despite your flaws and being OK with other people knowing them. Arrogance is believing yourself to be flawless (or at least pretending you believe that)
reboot
reboot
Moderator of "Other Relationships" and "Gender, Identity and Society"

Posts : 2514
Reputation : 1005
Join date : 2014-09-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by Caffeinated on Mon Jul 27, 2015 2:44 pm

For me, confidence in a social context feels (from the inside) like a determination to be myself, to be real and not hide.
Caffeinated
Caffeinated

Posts : 455
Reputation : 273
Join date : 2014-12-08

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by BasedBuzzed on Mon Jul 27, 2015 5:50 pm

Confidence is the feeling that you know your brain can reroute itself around setbacks by means of the very same cynical thinking that creates one's low self-esteem in the first place.

_________________
Pompeii, VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1904: "O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin."
BasedBuzzed
BasedBuzzed

Posts : 811
Reputation : 267
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by readertorider on Mon Jul 27, 2015 8:22 pm

To me it's knowing you have some things that you won't feel shame about and being willing to stand behind those aspects of yourself even if hell or high water might wash the rest away.
readertorider
readertorider

Posts : 155
Reputation : 58
Join date : 2014-10-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by kath on Mon Jul 27, 2015 8:27 pm

For me, confidence (particularly in social contexts) is pretty much being comfortable.

(IE, being relaxed, not being worried about how something will go in an unfocused way - excited / Big Thing Occurring nerves are fine)
kath
kath

Posts : 352
Reputation : 159
Join date : 2014-10-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by lonelyoffices on Tue Jul 28, 2015 12:40 am

jcorozza wrote:This isn't quite what you asked -  I agree with reboot, but want to add that for me, at leas, what separates confidence and arrogance is also being aware of your weaknesses as well, and being willing to ask for/accept help in those areas.  

reboot wrote:
jcorozza wrote:This isn't quite what you asked -  I agree with reboot, but want to add that for me, at leas, what separates confidence and arrogance is also being aware of your weaknesses as well, and being willing to ask for/accept help in those areas.  

Oh great point. Confidence means also seeing value in yourself despite your flaws and being OK with other people knowing them. Arrogance is believing yourself to be flawless (or at least pretending you believe that)

There is something freeing about your flaws, real or imagined, being known and accepted at least by yourself and ideally by those you care most about.

I think in that vein I see confidence as less about winning or succeeding and more about being okay regardless.

lonelyoffices

Posts : 31
Reputation : 32
Join date : 2015-04-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by Jayce on Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:39 am

I think when socialising, if you feel comfortable, not scared and if you are having a good time thats what I think is confidence in social contexts

Jayce

Posts : 211
Reputation : 66
Join date : 2014-10-03

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by Perlandra on Wed Jul 29, 2015 12:40 am

Well, I can't know for sure how confident someone else is, though I can gauge it for myself. The things I associate with confidence in a social context are being able to start conversations/hold up their end easily, body language/eye contact that are relaxed and interested, not needing a "babysitter" to introduce them to everyone/break the ice for them, etc.

Perlandra

Posts : 71
Reputation : 31
Join date : 2015-06-21

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by lonelyoffices on Thu Jul 30, 2015 1:05 pm

Collectively, these answers are refreshing. I think this community is atypical though, in a good way, but still atypical. I see many younger people or people, and some who aren't so young, who struggle with limited social lives viewing confidence as something more like boldness or brashness. Not necessarily arrogance, but a more showy, easily sensed kind of behavior.

What most people here seem to be describing is more a quiet confidence. That term "quiet confidence" is used to make a distinction with the "louder" kind of confidence I'm thinking of, and I think that distinction is thought necessary because many people so often define confidence as an active display.

I suspect this dovetails with reboot's thread about risk taking and confidence. I didn't comment, but I read that with interest, and I guess that's the quandary I see play out. As adolescents confidence really tends to be closely aligned with public risk taking. I know for me that definition took hold and it's never really let go of me. When I think of confidence, my first thought is that it's something one does, and not something one is. I have to go through "do" to get to "be". I think having to make that translation from do to be probably leaves me believing that the being kind of confidence has less value, or is less valued. Which, circuitously and ironically, leaves me feeling....less confident?

lonelyoffices

Posts : 31
Reputation : 32
Join date : 2015-04-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

How do you define "confidence" in a social context Empty Re: How do you define "confidence" in a social context

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum