Dating problems

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Dating problems - Page 3 Empty Re: Dating problems

Post by reboot on Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:05 am

Um, Dannyboy, you are writing off amusement park girl because she has not replied to your text in less than 24 hours? You do know that not everyone is all over their phone all the time? Sometimes people are even too busy to check their phone (shocking, I know). So maybe yes, maybe no.

On the second one, how much distance is between you? If it is more than 1 hour, this is likely not a gentle let down. Not many folks are keen on 2 hr+ round trips.

Sorry you are having a rough patch, but I think first dates not going anywhere is a feature, not a bug, in online dating. You are definitely doing quite well on getting dates, so keep doing what you are doing and be patient.
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Dating problems - Page 3 Empty Re: Dating problems

Post by jcorozza on Wed Sep 30, 2015 8:44 am

Okay Dannyboy, I've said this before, but you have some serious Jerkbrain stuff going on. You get very emotionally invested in these women very quickly. While that's not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself, it does mean that when things don't go perfectly, or eventually, don't go at all, you r Jerkbrain is in full force. It's also possible that because you invest so heavily, these women might be picking up on it, and feeling pressured.

What really worries me is that you think that having a girlfriend will make you feel normal. For one, you're putting a band-aid on an ulcer. And all of the things that you set as goals are things that often take time. I made my current group of friends through meetup, but it took a year, and even then, I was very lucky to find a group I clicked with. Writing a novel takes more than a summer, unless you are a lazy writer. Or Jack Kerouac, and really, I can't call that a novel, rather than "some thoughts I had and was too lazy to organize". Novels can take years. Mine has. I'm still not halfway done. And relationships take time, too. There's a lot of misses before you get a hit. It's like a game of battleship where you only have a few ships, but the board is enormous. Some people are really lucky and get a hit on the first try, but that is really, really, really unusual. Most people have to search for awhile, and go some some bad dates, some mediocre dates, and some good dates that still don't anywhere. Don't get me wrong, it can be really soul-crushing at times. For me, having worked to make friends really helps to cushion those blows. So does having a therapist to talk to. Or internet venting spots.
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