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Return of the Rants

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Post by Enail Mon Oct 10, 2016 12:54 pm

Sorry that you're so unhappy and things haven't gotten better. I hope next year will be a better one.
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Post by Wondering Tue Oct 11, 2016 3:52 pm

Every day since Trump's hot mic video was released, I have seen multiple posts in my Facebook feed that condemn it, post links to articles condemning it, or share stories and opinions of disapproval and disgust.

But you know what I don't see? Any of those posts coming from men. Every single one of them has been a woman Facebook friend of mine. And you know what? I notice. I see. I pay attention to the fact that none of my men Facebook friends have said anything. Haven't even shared an article or post condemning it.

When people say "men do this" and "it's just locker room talk" and you don't object? Your silence is assent. Your lack of speech makes you complicit. If you are not speaking out because you think it doesn't affect you or it's too political or you don't want to offend anyone? Fuck that. Stop making half the population responsible for denouncing the harm caused them by the horrible things your half does.

I am angry. And I am this close to posting this on my Facebook feed and getting in fights with people.

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Post by WJMorris3 Tue Oct 11, 2016 6:03 pm

Wondering wrote:Every day since Trump's hot mic video was released, I have seen multiple posts in my Facebook feed that condemn it, post links to articles condemning it, or share stories and opinions of disapproval and disgust.

But you know what I don't see? Any of those posts coming from men. Every single one of them has been a woman Facebook friend of mine. And you know what? I notice. I see. I pay attention to the fact that none of my men Facebook friends have said anything. Haven't even shared an article or post condemning it.

When people say "men do this" and "it's just locker room talk" and you don't object? Your silence is assent. Your lack of speech makes you complicit. If you are not speaking out because you think it doesn't affect you or it's too political or you don't want to offend anyone? Fuck that. Stop making half the population responsible for denouncing the harm caused them by the horrible things your half does.

I am angry. And I am this close to posting this on my Facebook feed and getting in fights with people.
I have found that when I do object to male behavior, I usually get shouted down - by men and women alike. It's gotten to the point where I'm honestly afraid to post stuff about it because it seems to get me villified in my circle of friends.

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Post by Wondering Tue Oct 11, 2016 6:28 pm

That largely depends on how you're doing it. Are you #notallmen-ing? Not cool. Are you saying men are horrible pustules on the face of the earth? Not cool.

Are you saying, "What Trump said is not okay." or "No, this is not acceptable locker room talk." or simply linking to an article criticizing what he said? That's different.

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Post by WJMorris3 Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:11 pm

This one got me in trouble with women on my Facebook, because it didn't only criticize men.

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Post by jcorozza Thu Oct 13, 2016 1:21 pm

Wondering, I'm with you on a lot of this. I do have some male friends who have posted about this (quite a few, especially my more politically oriented ones. Even one who has basically never posted about politics came out and posted something.) But I absolutely notice the ones who don't. Or who make comments on something about gender (like some manosphere nonsense about false rape accusations). I notice the women who don't, either. And I make a point to avoid those people, or to not tell them anything personal, because they are not safe. They are the Billy Bushes.
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Post by eselle28 Thu Oct 13, 2016 4:39 pm

Oh, lovely, now we get to hear a man accused of sexual assault claim that he couldn't possibly have done such a thing because his victim wasn't attractive enough. I think most of the discussion is going to end up being, "Lol, what? She's a pretty blonde who looks a lot like other women he's been interested in," but I think that's going to miss the fact that women who aren't gorgeous are assaulted too. Hell, some abusers intentionally select those women as victims. Physics knows the guy who molested me as a kid had access to lots of victims, and it strikes me as less than coincidental that the other ones I know of were also weird, awkward girls who were having a hard time with puberty.
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Post by eselle28 Thu Oct 13, 2016 7:16 pm

Oh, and a non-Trump rant. This link to a WebMD keeps following me around the internet in ad spaces (probably my fault for clicking on it). It's entitled "How to Tell if You Have Schizophrenia." That sort of seems like something that people shouldn't be encouraged to self-diagnose, especially given that spending twenty minutes on WebMD could convince even the healthiest person they had three different terminal diseases.
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Post by Werel Thu Oct 13, 2016 7:54 pm

Eeeesh, eselle, that's pushing the unethical self-diagnosis industry into pretty bad territory. Shocked

Related banner ad rant: goddamnit, I'm finally 100% sure that Google is accessing my text messages for ad tailoring.  Received a text asking if I wanted a "book or a ball or a top" as a formulaic joke about Christmas gifts, and immediately thereafter got a banner ad for a top. You know, like a toy spinning top, a thing I have never searched or shopped for in my life.

Good job, semantic web, understanding the context to differentiate between a toy top and a blouse, except get the fuck out of my text messages. Disapproving
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Post by Wondering Fri Oct 14, 2016 12:25 am

My OB's office forbade me from going to WebMD when I was pregnant. (They told me I could only go to Baby Center, and that I could only look at officially published articles there, not user-added content.)

jcorozza, I've been giving the women who don't post a pass. Mostly because I think so many women are fatigued of stories about sexual assault and having to express outrage (or be reminded of their own assault). So, if they don't post about this particular one, I don't hold it against them.

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Post by reboot Fri Oct 14, 2016 8:49 am

eselle28 wrote:Oh, lovely, now we get to hear a man accused of sexual assault claim that he couldn't possibly have done such a thing because his victim wasn't attractive enough. I think most of the discussion is going to end up being, "Lol, what? She's a pretty blonde who looks a lot like other women he's been interested in," but I think that's going to miss the fact that women who aren't gorgeous are assaulted too. Hell, some abusers intentionally select those women as victims. Physics knows the guy who molested me as a kid had access to lots of victims, and it strikes me as less than coincidental that the other ones I know of were also weird, awkward girls who were having a hard time with puberty.

And the "false claims" counterattack train is right on time Angry

Werel, the search thing is spooky. I have my browser on my phone, the browser on my tablet, and my phone OS set in 3 different languages and write in English. It is interesting because I can see which system targeted me for which ads. Their targeting is way less effective and Google appears to be convinced I am someone who needs a Muslim or Ukrainian bride, 2 searches I have never done and 2 topics I have never received or sent a message about. My Muslim friends who marry do not call anyone a "Muslim bride".

I guess privacy is the price for seemingly free products :/

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Post by Werel Sat Oct 15, 2016 6:41 pm

Me pretty much every day right now, just replace heroin withdrawal with dissertation:



"Does it feel good being off drugs a late-stage PhD student?"
"No. I'm going fucking crazy, Shoshanna."
"Well it feels really good to me and all the people who love you, and you probably just destroyed your pleasure centers but they're totally gonna grow back!"

Sometimes there's just nothing for it except dancing real hard until you stop thinking.
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Post by Robjection Mon Oct 31, 2016 5:53 pm

So I was supposed to be beta testing this game for someone last week. I was waiting for them to email me the game to test and didn't get anything, even in my spam folder.

Cut to yesterday when I get a message that basically amounts to "I'd like feedback within 48 hours." So I have to say "Dude, I don't have the game." One brief exchange later today, I have a download link for the game.

Only now, I download the game and it refuses to install.

I mean, I was already having it rough today after virtually all of my fingernails broke at work (which, given how I'm feeling about my fingers, I really could've done without), but this is just the brown definitely-not-chocolate icing on the stale-as-fuck cake.

Spoiler:

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Post by Wondering Mon Oct 31, 2016 7:53 pm

Taking my toddler in tomorrow to have her tested for diabetes. Prayers if you're the praying type and thoughts either way would be appreciated.

I hope it's negative. I know how to do this and do it well, but I do not want it for her.

And it's my fucking genes that did it if she is.

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Post by Robjection Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:01 pm

Return of the Rants - Page 18 20090916_fingers_crossed_2743

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Post by Hirundo Bos Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:07 pm

Wondering: Crossing fingers, hoping for good results.

Me: Got a romantic rejection from someone I had a nice chat over coffee with.

My confidence was a little shaken already, because a twitter fight I had tonight. (Other person asked why I was bothering him with my wearisome idiocy.) So rejection gets to me more than it normally would.

And my head gets into this loop where I want to respond like a good person to the rejection, but overthinking how to do that is guaranteed to make it weird.
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Post by Enail Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:14 pm

Fingers crossed, Wondering! And sorry about the rejection, Hirundo.
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Post by reboot Tue Nov 01, 2016 9:57 pm

Fingers, tails and toes crossed!
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Post by Wondering Wed Nov 02, 2016 2:20 am

So I'm in the hospital with my two-year-old. Today diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Which she will have for the rest of her life.

Can I rage quit the world now?

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Post by Werel Wed Nov 02, 2016 2:39 am

Shit. I'm so sorry, Wondering. Sending wishes for patience and fortitude to you and the kiddo.
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Post by reboot Wed Nov 02, 2016 8:29 am

Oh shit. So sorry, wondering. Hugs to you and her, if wanted
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Post by Enail Wed Nov 02, 2016 12:27 pm

I'm so sorry, Wondering. At least she's very lucky to have you to guide her through it, for what that's worth :/
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Post by ElizaJane Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:46 pm

*hugs*, Wondering. I just went through that with my 8-year-old a few months ago, and know how world-altering it can be. Good luck to both her and you -- the transition is rough. Sad

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Post by sky Sat Nov 05, 2016 1:38 am

Told a lead I needed him to not crush my fingers while dancing. >> Was treated to a mansplanation of why he naturally has a strong grip and additionally how it's actually a good thing and therefore I shouldn't mind.
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Post by BasedBuzzed Sat Nov 05, 2016 11:34 am

Leading is extremely about a one-size-fits-all approach to followers and not learning how to balance guidance with smoothness with different partners.

Today had a twofer bonus of "durr all criticism is PC culture" together with "doy freedom of speech only applies to gubbermint". This shit is too cyclical.

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