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Post by Datelessman on Mon Jul 16, 2018 6:58 pm

So my slumlord, who has racked up 71-99 violations is evicting my mother and I because they want our rent stabilized apartment. Housing court is a joke, and no lawyer seems to care about mold or lack of plumbing. Their eviction filing is full of mistakes (at best) or lies (at worst) and even my union lawyer is basically insisting we cater to their whims.

Once again, something in my life goes wrong enough that other things -- like being inexperienced -- become trivial.
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Post by Enail on Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:35 pm

Oh jeez, that's awful. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, housing stress is one of the worst stresses. I hope court goes your way.
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Post by Hielario on Mon Jul 16, 2018 11:00 pm

Oh my god that's the worst. I'm sad you have to rent from such a horrible piece of shit. I hope someone kicks them down the stairs.
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Post by Enail on Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:23 am

<mod> Hey Hielario, as much as I would love to see slumlords in general and this one in particular have consequences for their actions, we do have a general forum policy against expressing wishes for violence, so could you please try and avoid that kind of phrase in the future? Thanks! </mod>
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Post by Datelessman on Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:42 am

Enail wrote:Oh jeez, that's awful. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, housing stress is one of the worst stresses. I hope court goes your way.

Thanks for the sentiment. I hope so too although what I am learning about housing court is that tenants never win. At best they delay the inevitable until the landlord backs off, they move, or they are evicted. And they wonder why homelessness is a crisis, especially in NY, a blue state. Every agency seems to be on the side of the landlord despite their purported purpose to help us. It doesn't seem to matter about mold or violations or that the building's original owner was literally murdered within the building 2 years after selling it (seriously). It doesn't matter that by happy coincidence, all the tenants facing eviction are those who complained the most about violations. It's a kangaroo court of the highest order.

Just thought I'd mention it just in case I vanish off the face of the earth from the forums, it would likely be related to this.
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Post by Enail on Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:42 pm

Yiiikes! Good luck and stay safe.
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Post by Hielario on Tue Jul 17, 2018 10:01 pm

Sounds like house-related lawsuits are full of bullshit wherever you live.
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Post by Datelessman on Sat Oct 06, 2018 4:04 pm

So in addition to still trying to fight off the threat of eviction in housing court for me and my handicapped mother, I was just fired from my job 3.5 weeks before I would have shifted from a probationary to permanent employee. Said job, for a city agency, is now being fishy with delivering my last paycheck and hindering my attempts to claim unemployment insurance, despite suggesting I apply to it during my termination. So in addition to my lack of a love life I have the very real chance of being both jobless and homeless in time for Christmas.

Not a single lawyer will assist us in court and not a single city or federal agency cares whether my mother or I live or die.

I tried something different, I left a job in which I was very comfortable with people who genuinely liked me for a chance at a better life, and now it's all turned to poison the moment I got close.

I want someone to tell me again how it's all about positive attitude and not just dumb luck.

Basically, right now I relate to this comic, which is the 9/15/18 edition of PEARLS BEFORE SWINE by Stephen Pastis.

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Post by Enail on Sat Oct 06, 2018 4:07 pm

I'm so sorry, Datelessman, that's awful. Fingers crossed you can get your paycheck and unemployment insurance asap, and that some good luck comes your way fast.
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Post by Hielario on Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:50 pm

Oh my god that's awful. I hope you manage to get your money, at least.

Sounds like they're up to fishy stuff. Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if jour job and the agency were "in cahoots" (did I use that term right?).
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Post by Werel on Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:10 pm

Oh jeez, Datelessman, that’s terrible! Also got my fingers crossed for you to get your paycheck soon, and get your unemployment situation worked out really fast. :/
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Post by Datelessman on Mon Oct 08, 2018 6:11 am

Enail wrote:I'm so sorry, Datelessman, that's awful. Fingers crossed you can get your paycheck and unemployment insurance asap, and that some good luck comes your way fast.

Thanks. I hope so too!

Hielario wrote:Oh my god that's awful. I hope you manage to get your money, at least.

Sounds like they're up to fishy stuff. Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if jour job and the agency were "in cahoots" (did I use that term right?).

You did, and I have no idea. It wouldn't surprise me. NYC can be fairly corrupt.

Werel wrote:Oh jeez, Datelessman, that’s terrible! Also got my fingers crossed for you to get your paycheck soon, and get your unemployment situation worked out really fast. :/

Thank you.

Thanks for the support, you three! It did help me feel a little better.
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Post by Werel on Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:29 pm

Getting a paycheck in foreign currency is way, way more stressful than anticipated. You have to gamble on what day you deposit it in the hopes the exchange rate will be up, a few dumbshit words from Piss Dictator and your paycheck is suddenly worth hundreds of dollars less, and you literally can't budget cause you never know how much you'll be paid in the currency you need to live. There's no spreadsheet line for "uh, this much goes towards debts if NAFTA collapses, this much if it doesn't." Run in circles flail
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Post by Werel on Thu Jan 24, 2019 9:24 pm

Sometimes, things just work out to make you a lot lonelier than you're used to being. Loneliness snowballs fast, seems like. It creeps in through a crack, and suddenly you're seeing huge gaps in your life, the fact that you move to a new state every couple of years, the fact that you've been in a new city for a year and a half with no school/work networks at all, without making a single new friend. Sitting looking through your phone, realizing there's almost no one within a few hundred miles you can call to hang out. Knowing it's your own fault for not having tried harder.

And when you're used to thinking of your life as pretty full, when you're not used to loneliness, that feeling will sure knock you on your ass for a little while.
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Post by bomaye on Fri Jan 25, 2019 2:25 am

Sad
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Post by Datelessman on Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:49 am

I have a bit of a rant. I likely will go on about it in my own venue but the long and short of it was that I had to face down, at least from the distance of a computer screen, an associate who has morphed into a right wing, "anti-feminist" "anti-SJW" lunatic all over a comic book review I happened to do. And while it is terrible that this current administration is tearing our country apart and seeming to turn everyone against each other, in some ways it is good to have certain things out in the air again.

We all have that pal on Facebook or social media, right? That person we "friend" who we barely remember ever meeting in real life, if at all. This guy was at best a friend of a friend I maybe met at a bar once. Another dude with a big ego with a love of t-shirts who thinks sweats go with everything. In NY that's standard. And while he was never a champion of equality, he was on my feed and we'd share likes or jokes about wrestling or comics or DBZ, that sort of stuff. But then a couple of years ago he went through a very nasty breakup in his LTR. I am fuzzy on the details but they ultimately don't matter, because afterwards I watched him in one status after the next become more and more hateful, of women in general and "liberals" in particular. I suppose many people would comment that this "change" was really no change at all; he's just showing his true colors now. That with the advantages of being a straight, white man, I could entertain such lofty ideas that he'd "changed" or even that he was "going thru a phase." So I didn't call him out very often -- the few times I did I got seething online rants so I picked my battles. I watched him wrap himself in hypocrisy -- he hates "socialism", yet he literally is a postal worker and thus benefits from one of the nation's strongest and longest lasting unions -- day in and day out and be the only part of my feed which was filled with garbage that I ignored.

I didn't want to be that "snowflake" who ditches someone over differing political views. I mean we disagreed a lot but he wasn't really someone I cared much about. I ignored him because I could, held my tongue (or fingers, since it is typing). Again, he was no one I ever recalled meeting in person; just a face on a screen who was friends with my REAL friends. And even worse, he symbolized a lot of "dudebro/alpha man" tropes. He works out, he's traditionally handsome, and appears popular with women despite of, or even because of, his "manly" views. There were times I was envious of him, I am ashamed to admit. Then there were times I pitied him, since he actually wanted another LTR, but all he could get were dates with women who wanted short term sex -- who he naturally derided as "whores" of course. He is far from a virgin and the opposite of me in many ways. I decided, perhaps stupidly, that invading his feed to do some sort of intervention or reckoning or "debate" so I felt better about myself for being one of those "good men" who is supposed to talk back about broken ones wasn't the right place. So I put it off for months and months.

Then I wrote a comic review about a heroine who is about to get a movie and whose politics he's been ginned up to hate because of the right wing news cycle he is wrapped in mixed with his own issues, and he started bringing his crap to my feed directly. And then one of my elementary school friends got into a pretty personal and ugly debate with him. The writer of the comic is a woman and someone I have tagged and reviewed work of many times. It was time not to stand on the fence for one excuse or another. I considered it, but I was annoyed that he brought this on, that he was tainting my work, and above all I wondered if this was one of those critical online moments where one either shows to be an "ally" or not.

So I jumped into the debate, and at first I probably showed too much grace, trying to argue facts or even go with the idea that was just a misguided good person. But when those didn't work and it became obvious it was going to go on and on, I deliberately chose to get personal, hit him with all his baggage I'd learned from his feeds. I didn't expect to "win", but to drive him off. I called him out on his crap and it felt sort of wrong...but liberating. Yes, he was a guy who had his heart ripped out. But he'd had 2 years and replaced it with something ugly, at best.

He threw my own past at being dateless at me, and I don't know whether he knew I was a virgin from our mutual pals or just the endless hints I made in the past, but he tossed that one out there. But I didn't even care, it was like DNL said about dismissing an insult from someone you should see as beneath you. Surely in the circumstance no one on the feed bought it. Those who know me at all should probably be in shock that someone called me a virgin somewhere as an insult and I couldn't have cared less in the moment. He may as well have called me a doody head. He made his excuses for his ego and left. But the comic writer I was afraid would see me as a fence sitter if I did nothing "liked" some of my replies. And I felt more dignified by finally getting it out.

I don't hate women. But I hate men like this, and I hate that our current climate is making them come out of the woodwork. The sheer number of them who turn out to be cops, soldiers, federal workers, or other "entrenched" figures is shocking...unless you listen to people of color, who'd been saying that for 60 years. And I hated that a damn comic review article had to become some sort of online war where I had to choose between an emotionally traumatized but still deliberately jerky associate and a childhood friend. But maybe it was good for me. Anyway, rant over.
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Post by Enail on Wed Apr 03, 2019 6:04 pm

People who won't just say what they want drive me so crazy! If you have an opinion, fucking say so, don't insist you have no opinions so I have to decide and then try and wishy-washily hint around to steer where you really want it to go!
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Post by Datelessman on Thu Apr 04, 2019 11:01 pm

Enail wrote:People who won't just say what they want drive me so crazy! If you have an opinion, fucking say so, don't insist you have no opinions so I have to decide and then try and wishy-washily hint around to steer where you really want it to go!

I totally hate that. Right on, dude!
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Post by Enail on Mon Apr 08, 2019 9:38 pm

Something around me is slaughtering laptops, but it only goes after the only remaining survivor when it's in the living room, and a desktop computer is fine in the living room, even on the same outlet and power bar?!? Side-eye
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Post by Hielario on Wed Apr 10, 2019 8:10 am

Job searching on the internet seems a lot like online dating: you invest a lot of effort on writing messages that never get any answer, a polite rejection is so rare that it feels like water in the desert, and the only one interested will probably turn out to be a trashfire.
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Post by Datelessman on Wed Apr 10, 2019 10:03 pm

Hielario wrote:Job searching on the internet seems a lot like online dating: you invest a lot of effort on writing  messages that never get any answer, a polite rejection is so rare that it feels like water in the desert, and the only one interested will probably turn out to be a trashfire.

Or a scam. No I've been there at least twice in the last decade, good luck man.
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Post by Glides on Mon Jun 03, 2019 9:33 am

This morning's brief panic comes from an unusual source: a friend of mine on Twitter sent me a link to a Discord that was for fans of the actress Brie Larson, but he hadn't been on anywhere aside from the welcome channel. It was meant to be a friendly gesture because we're both fans of hers.

The Discord itself is a compilation of leaked nudes and deepfake stuff and all very pornographic and so I flipped out and left and told him about it. He had no idea, but I was still freaking out. I'm the only person who would panic at something like that. It was all just really gross, it was all horny dudes being horny, it was just the kind of incel bullshit that even in my most wannabe incel days I would've tried to avoid out of how uncomfortable it made me, I didn't even think these things still existed in large numbers.

As y'all can clearly see, i was never a very good incel, either.

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Post by Datelessman on Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:55 pm

That's good. The sheer amount of man-child hatred heaped upon Brie Larson and/or the character of Captain Marvel by that "community" is disgusting, yet predictable.

As for me, my rant is that my entire life is one step forward, one mile back. Since my last rant, I've gotten a new job and even made it from "temp" to "probationary permanent". About one out of eight folks in my training class made it and I was among them.

On the other hand, tomorrow is yet another eviction proceeding between my slumlord and my disabled mother and I. This time they're cruising for a trial, which without a lawyer I doubt we will win. All of our pleas for help have been ignored, or are beyond our resources. I don't just stress for myself, but for this last indignity that my disabled, divorced, elderly, rape and incest surviving, daughter of a WWII veteran will have to face in the undue twilight of her life. Even an adjournment or a victory just delays the inevitable. For 13 out of the last 14 months we have went to one proceeding a month and it is wearing down on us. The stress of being homeless again.

For me it would be twice in under 40 years; I was technically homeless with mom as an infant. We cannot afford to move and for all intents and purposes, our lives are over if it happens. And the sad thing is there is a part of me that personally welcomes it. My biggest regret is that mother will face it too. I mean, maybe I deserve it. I'm a straight, white, American born man in his late 30's who has some ignorant opinions of women and in my life have done some things I am not proud of, like shoplifting. Maybe I deserve it. But she doesn't, and the fact that I have been unable to pull us from this pit means I failed as a man and a human being, at everything.

About the only thing this horror has done for me is it's probably killed whatever angst or fear of dating I had left. Yeah, I'm a virgin and yeah I'm less fun than a night of Netflix and ice cream. Who cares anymore. I sure don't. I'll be too busy dying on the street, or fending off the inevitable for another month or two.

Thanks for all the kindness and understanding I have gotten here, should this truly be the end and I vanish. It's been appreciated, this community.

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Post by Enail on Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:43 pm

God, Datelessman, that's awful. And emphatically not your fault or deserved or a failing on your part. All my fingers crossed the proceedings go your way, and all the wishes for safe, stable housing for you and your mom.
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Post by Datelessman on Thu Jun 13, 2019 11:57 pm

Enail wrote:God, Datelessman, that's awful. And emphatically not your fault or deserved or a failing on your part. All my fingers crossed the proceedings go your way, and all the wishes for safe, stable housing for you and your mom.

Thanks a lot. I hate to bring such heavy stuff to the board which isn't about romance at all, but it's certainly a rant that I have.

The trial itself will likely be in July. After that...who knows.

My current mood:
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