Random Thoughts: The Randoming

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Post by eselle28 on Sun Jun 26, 2016 12:23 am

When I read people's accounts of their trips home on holidays and their frustrations, I always come away with the thought that my family is apparently very weird. I had just dinner with my parents. We sort of don't get along super well. Tense topics: what time to meet for dinner, my day at work, our upcoming family vacation, whether the child on the other side of the restaurant was being too loud, will it storm tonight?, how much is an appropriate tip. Easy topics: Donald Trump, Brexit, the upheaval of my state's Republican party, whether we voted Republican in the last primary or not (we're all Democrats, but none of the Democratic primary races were contested), whether the candidate for city commissioner is a flake or a really nice guy, isn't it frustrating that our best friends who are so smart don't bother to vote.
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Post by BasedBuzzed on Tue Jun 28, 2016 2:16 pm

The more I read, the more I think people see relationships as a question of energy. Do people get out as much or more as they put in? Understanding someone, parsing the references and what makes the tick, sharing in activities, planning around each other, justifying your choice in partner to yourself and friends and society, it all takes energy. You don't opt for someone who you gauge will be an energy sink.

I think I currently look like a sink in a lot of ways. Unclear life plans, hobbies that need to be "gotten into" for the conventional gal, full agenda, high-energy, references and unconventional views that need to be gotten into, an appetite for discussing volatile topics, a conversational style that may parse as challenging the other, difficult to gauge emotionally: it's more headache than heart-throb. Question is, do I actually want to change/put in the effort to find someone whose type this is, or would I be happier alone?

(actually I could have probably found someone by now if I put as much effort into meatspace asking-on-dates as I do online, but it just feels weirder to do exploratory dates in that manner)

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Post by bomaye on Wed Jun 29, 2016 6:11 am

I started a tumblr as a kind of reaction (or another reaction) to my home forum's unpleasantness because some people I know from there that I like use it and I can post into an anonymous void and maybe something will come back from random people too (I'm less certain on this, if I write about wrestling or anime or whatever I'm not sure too many people will find their way to it or respond to it even with tags, but we'll see)

The first thing I saw when joining tumblr was a post that said "I don't feel sorry for men at all." Tumblr is certainly not shy about its reputation rofl
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Post by Aggrax on Thu Jun 30, 2016 5:17 pm

So, today a bunch of kids asked me how to be cool. This is the list I gave them:

1) Own as many oranges as possible. They are not for eating, you just have them
2) Get a squirrel indebted to you. This is not a friendship, but a business. Squirrels are not in this for friends
3) Invent time travel and go to the corner of 5th and Manchester in Albany, New York. You will know what to do when you get there.
4) Gal nashath abdraku del noratandalishi. You will know what this means when you get to this step.
5) High Five at least 3 Gold Medal Olympians who won their medals in years evenly divisible by 6.
6) Locate a man named Hudson DeMask living in Huston, Texas and remove 3 hairs from him without him noticing.
7) Make sure every list you make has at least 7 steps in it.
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Post by litterature on Thu Jun 30, 2016 5:18 pm

Aggrax wrote:So, today a bunch of kids asked me how to be cool. This is the list I gave them:

1) Own as many oranges as possible. They are not for eating, you just have them
2) Get a squirrel indebted to you. This is not a friendship, but a business. Squirrels are not in this for friends
3) Invent time travel and go to the corner of 5th and Manchester in Albany, New York. You will know what to do when you get there.
4) Gal nashath abdraku del noratandalishi. You will know what this means when you get to this step.
5) High Five at least 3 Gold Medal Olympians who won their medals in years evenly divisible by 6.
6) Locate a man named Hudson DeMask living in Huston, Texas and remove 3 hairs from him without him noticing.
7) Make sure every list you make has at least 7 steps in it.

The first two steps kinda sound like a business how-to book written by Tom Nook, don't they? :p

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Post by WJMorris3 on Thu Jun 30, 2016 6:08 pm

litterature wrote:
Aggrax wrote:So, today a bunch of kids asked me how to be cool. This is the list I gave them:

1) Own as many oranges as possible. They are not for eating, you just have them
2) Get a squirrel indebted to you. This is not a friendship, but a business. Squirrels are not in this for friends
3) Invent time travel and go to the corner of 5th and Manchester in Albany, New York. You will know what to do when you get there.
4) Gal nashath abdraku del noratandalishi. You will know what this means when you get to this step.
5) High Five at least 3 Gold Medal Olympians who won their medals in years evenly divisible by 6.
6) Locate a man named Hudson DeMask living in Huston, Texas and remove 3 hairs from him without him noticing.
7) Make sure every list you make has at least 7 steps in it.

The first two steps kinda sound like a business how-to book written by Tom Nook, don't they? :p
Wouldn't have noticed it without you mentioning it. Thanks much!

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Post by Wondering on Thu Jun 30, 2016 6:55 pm

litterature wrote:The first two steps kinda sound like a business how-to book written by Tom Nook, don't they? :p

Stupid raccoon! Never had what I wanted when I needed it.

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Post by Wondering on Thu Jul 07, 2016 5:00 pm

Death is not an option.

1) Trump or Voldemort?
2) Trump or Emperor Palpatine?
3) Trump or the Borg?
4) Trump or the White Witch?
5) Trump or Bavmorda?
6) Trump or Sauron?
7) Trump or Morgoth?
8) Trump or the Langoliers?
9) Trump or the Nothing?

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Post by Guest on Thu Jul 07, 2016 5:23 pm

Wondering wrote:Death is not an option.

1) Trump or Voldemort?
2) Trump or Emperor Palpatine?
3) Trump or the Borg?
4) Trump or the White Witch?
5) Trump or Bavmorda?
6) Trump or Sauron?
7) Trump or Morgoth?
Cool Trump or the Langoliers?
9) Trump or the Nothing?

Sooo, you're telling me I can't summon the Dark Brotherhood? Or use the Death Note? Sad

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Post by Wondering on Thu Jul 07, 2016 5:28 pm

You must decide who is fired. And you can only fire one. Wink

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Post by Guest on Thu Jul 07, 2016 6:20 pm

Wondering wrote:You must decide who is fired. And you can only fire one. Wink

Oh, in that case the choice is very clear! ;D

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Post by eselle28 on Thu Jul 07, 2016 11:08 pm

I'm going to try this:


1 ) Trump. I'm a woman and a muggle, but I suspect Trump is more willing to ignore women who don't attract his notice in any way than Voldemort is to ignore muggles.
2 ) Palpatine. The Star Wars universe wasn't substantially more of a pit during his rule than it was before or after.
3 ) Trump. That's only because I can see reversing whatever he'd do to the populace as being slightly easier than being Seven of Nine.
4 ) The White Witch. This one's easy - her magic doesn't work very well in other worlds!
5 ) Bavmorda. Both Republicans and Bavmorda hate pregnant women, but Trump hates lots of other people too.
6 ) Trump. I don't think he'd be much better for the environment or for peace, but even he might be a little bit better.
7 ) Trump. He's merely one of Morgoth's followers, and a petty one at that.
8 ) The Langoliers. Super easy monster to avoid, unlike the Orange One.
9 ) The Nothing. I think I can come up with a grain of sand and some imagination.
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Post by Wondering on Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:07 am

eselle28 wrote:5 ) Bavmorda. Both Republicans and Bavmorda hate pregnant women

This made me snort my beverage. Thank you for that. Smile

This "Trump vs" thing arose out of my random thoughts of who would actually be worse than Trump, and I came up with Sauron and Morgoth, and then had to expand it from there.

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Post by Guest on Sat Jul 09, 2016 5:31 am

Anyone here ever get a tarot card reading? How did it go?

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Post by Enail on Sat Jul 09, 2016 11:41 am

I've never gotten a real tarot card reading, but I do them sometimes for fun. I don't believe they're anything other than symbolism and randomness, but I find them a pretty good way to get some new ideas about a situation.
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Post by eselle28 on Sat Jul 09, 2016 10:17 pm

A college classmate used to do them as a party trick. I don't believe in them, either, but she's the sort of person who's good at telling a story based on a few pieces of data and what she already knows about you, so her particular readings ended up being pretty interesting.
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Post by Enail on Sat Jul 09, 2016 10:26 pm

It does make a good party trick.
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Post by Werel on Sat Jul 09, 2016 10:36 pm

At my house we call tarot "the story game." It's real, real good for making up stories about your life, and jumpstarting interesting conversations with new angles/takes on a situation.

It really depends on where you stand re: spookiness, but I've had a few back-to-back readings that were a little too on the nose for me to chalk up entirely to chance. If your worldview includes even a teaspoon of woo-woo, tarot can be pretty fun on the storytelling and "was that chance?" levels. You know, the is-this-spooky-or-am-I-moving-the-Ouija-board kind of fun. Smile
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Post by eselle28 on Tue Jul 12, 2016 3:00 am

I was wandering around Amazon looking for a book for my newest little nibling, who might be a nephew and might be a niece. The fetus in question's older sister is 3, is mostly into books with stories these days, and already has a lot of the really babyish books, so I thought I'd check a "best of" list.

And, well...one of these things is not like the others.

Random Thoughts: The Randoming - Page 15 SGgrdgE
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Post by Werel on Tue Jul 12, 2016 3:02 am

eselle28 wrote:nibling
Shiny/thrilled What a great word.
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Post by Guest on Tue Jul 12, 2016 4:21 am

eselle28 wrote:I was wandering around Amazon looking for a book for my newest little nibling, who might be a nephew and might be a niece. The fetus in question's older sister is 3, is mostly into books with stories these days, and already has a lot of the really babyish books, so I thought I'd check a "best of" list.

And, well...one of these things is not like the others.


Well, clearly it's the book on Toot book, duh.

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Post by Wondering on Wed Jul 13, 2016 1:44 am

Pokemon Go sounds fun, but it seems like it's really just another exercise in white male privilege. Non-white men loitering around parks and businesses are going to get shot or arrested (and then possibly shot). Women are going to get assaulted.

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Post by Werel on Wed Jul 13, 2016 3:00 am

I hear you on the privilege bit for sure, but I wonder how disheartening it is for men of color and other women (not to mention kids) to hear that they are definitely, for sure going to be assaulted or incarcerated or murdered if they move around their neighborhoods using their best judgment and knowledge. :/

longish thought about privilege and danger:
I don't know anything about what it's like to not be white; my white privilege is massive and compounded by SES, so I almost never feel at risk of arrest. But as a woman, I haven't felt like I was going to be assaulted while playing Pokemon Go. I don't feel likely to be assaulted at any given moment when I'm walking around town. If I did, I'd never leave my house. To stay sane and functional, everyone needs to trust their own judgment in avoiding (most of) what's avoidable, and what's unavoidable is unavoidable. Being assaulted is a scary possibility, like being in a car wreck, but it doesn't feel likely.

But when folks say things that exaggerate the chance to a likelihood, I'm somewhere between sad and mad; sad, because what if they're right and the world's just total shit?; and mad, because it's indirectly a challenge to my lived experience, and a comment on my judgment. If what they say is true, I'm foolish and wrong to perceive it as fairly safe to walk around areas I know, and loiter in places that I judge to be low-risk. (Not mad at you, Wondering, just reacting to this discursive tack in general! Smile)

When it comes to this game specifically, I've heard a few people bring this up, and it goes without saying that policing and civilian violence in America are massively racist, but... is this really putting people in systemic danger, more than just living already does? I can't see a fundamental difference between walking around with your eyes glued to a Pidgey vs. a text conversation or Google Maps; the only conceivable difference is that... people are going to forgo the judgment and awareness they rely on during the rest of their lives, because they gotta go to some specific PokeStop? The argument seems weirdly dubious of the judgment of people of color and women.

If you're talking about the fact that loitering around Lure Modules = loitering, and loitering = dangerous for systemically oppressed groups, yeah, absolutely. And the highly unjust correlations of race and class with safe neighborhoods kids can walk around, definitely agree. But I feel really sad at the prospect of young nonwhite and/or female people hearing these warnings that are too alarmist, and being turned off of the very... optimistic, potentially community-building idea of venturing out and exploring their surroundings and interacting with other people. If they hear "it's only safe for white boys," even in a way meant to warn them of possible danger, they might just shrug and resign themselves to it like a fact. And that's a damn shame every time, no matter whether it was a video game or a profession or a musical genre.  

But the line between talking about a problem with enough weight to do justice to its magnitude, and talking about it with too much weight such that it does more harm than good, is so hard to figure out. Maybe it is better to err on the side of whatever keeps people from exposing themselves to risks. Shrug

(I'm really not trying to pick on you, Wondering, I promise! I just had a bunch of thoughts about this topic in the last couple days. Razz)
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Post by Guest on Wed Jul 13, 2016 6:41 am

Just got my new frames today Shiny/thrilled.

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Post by Wondering on Wed Jul 13, 2016 12:43 pm

Werel wrote:I hear you on the privilege bit for sure, but I wonder how disheartening it is for men of color and other women (not to mention kids) to hear that they are definitely, for sure going to be assaulted or incarcerated or murdered if they move around their neighborhoods using their best judgment and knowledge. :/

longish thought about privilege and danger:
I don't know anything about what it's like to not be white; my white privilege is massive and compounded by SES, so I almost never feel at risk of arrest. But as a woman, I haven't felt like I was going to be assaulted while playing Pokemon Go. I don't feel likely to be assaulted at any given moment when I'm walking around town. If I did, I'd never leave my house. To stay sane and functional, everyone needs to trust their own judgment in avoiding (most of) what's avoidable, and what's unavoidable is unavoidable. Being assaulted is a scary possibility, like being in a car wreck, but it doesn't feel likely.

But when folks say things that exaggerate the chance to a likelihood, I'm somewhere between sad and mad; sad, because what if they're right and the world's just total shit?; and mad, because it's indirectly a challenge to my lived experience, and a comment on my judgment. If what they say is true, I'm foolish and wrong to perceive it as fairly safe to walk around areas I know, and loiter in places that I judge to be low-risk. (Not mad at you, Wondering, just reacting to this discursive tack in general! Smile)

When it comes to this game specifically, I've heard a few people bring this up, and it goes without saying that policing and civilian violence in America are massively racist, but... is this really putting people in systemic danger, more than just living already does? I can't see a fundamental difference between walking around with your eyes glued to a Pidgey vs. a text conversation or Google Maps; the only conceivable difference is that... people are going to forgo the judgment and awareness they rely on during the rest of their lives, because they gotta go to some specific PokeStop? The argument seems weirdly dubious of the judgment of people of color and women.

If you're talking about the fact that loitering around Lure Modules = loitering, and loitering = dangerous for systemically oppressed groups, yeah, absolutely. And the highly unjust correlations of race and class with safe neighborhoods kids can walk around, definitely agree. But I feel really sad at the prospect of young nonwhite and/or female people hearing these warnings that are too alarmist, and being turned off of the very... optimistic, potentially community-building idea of venturing out and exploring their surroundings and interacting with other people. If they hear "it's only safe for white boys," even in a way meant to warn them of possible danger, they might just shrug and resign themselves to it like a fact. And that's a damn shame every time, no matter whether it was a video game or a profession or a musical genre.  

But the line between talking about a problem with enough weight to do justice to its magnitude, and talking about it with too much weight such that it does more harm than good, is so hard to figure out. Maybe it is better to err on the side of whatever keeps people from exposing themselves to risks. Shrug

(I'm really not trying to pick on you, Wondering, I promise! I just had a bunch of thoughts about this topic in the last couple days. Razz)

I get your point. But here's the thing, using your best judgment to move around your area is still an exercise in privilege. You limit yourself to where you go the same way you do every day as a woman. People of color, I will have to assume, do the same. For safety of whatever sort is valuable to the people in question. White men don't have to limit themselves in the same way/in as many ways. So in a game about collecting Pokemon, you don't have the privilege of going to as many places to collect them as a white man does. By virtue of using your best judgment. You can't play the game as well as white men can.

And there are already stories that I find concerning. I read an account of a young black man who talked about how he played Pokemon Go for 20 minutes. And the first 5 minutes were really fun wandering around collecting. Then he noticed an old white lady who seemed scared of him while he stood around looking at his phone as if waiting for something. Then he spent the next 15 minutes wondering if this game was going to endanger him. Then he quit playing. Another incident, in an affluent, predominantly white suburb near me, the police were called to a local park two nights ago due to reports of screaming. Turns out, it was a group of Pokemon Go players. They were in the park after closing and were asked by the police to leave, which they did. I'll assume, given the demographics, these were white people. What if they hadn't been? Philando Castile shows what often happens to black men even when they comply with police. Some businesses are really not happy about this game bringing people around to their establishments. I read about a Dairy Queen posting a sign that Pokemon were for paying customers only. What about the businesses that aren't even aware of this game and why it's bringing non-customers to hang out, not buying things, in their stores or just outside them? Also read a story about a man who said his house is a former church, but maps still list it as a church, and he's had quite a few people with phones congregating on the street outside his house. He knows what Pokemon Go is and what's going on. Not everyone does. And lastly, PUAs are already giving each other advice to use lures because this will bring lots of women they can hit on to their location. Lures seem so ripe for abuse.

So, yes, you can always use your best judgment to avoid dangerous or potentially dangerous situations. But how do you know the place that's listed as a church isn't a church until you go there? How do you know which business owner will or won't be fine with you showing up?

Is it a given that bad things will happen to women and people of color playing this game? No. Is it highly likely? I think yes.

ETA: Misgivings about the game aside, I have been playing spot-the-Pokemon-hunter while I'm driving around doing errands. Wink

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