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Post by Alex1989 on Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:18 pm

o whom it may concern:

I'm back... And I feel that the users in the community are giving me dirty looks, disappointed after what I have done. But before I recieve the reprimands, hear me out:

I know what I did is wrong, I have basically ruined the community, deeply offended the mods and angered the admin. I will understand if you are angry at me and dislike me. I understand if you wish for me to leave. But I cannot live with this guilt any longer, I wish to be part of the geek community again...

I am aware that I deleted my account, I planned to go around the suspension and literally BEG for forgiveness, but I realized that by doing so, I will have gotten into even bigger trouble, possibly permabanned and shunned from the community. Instead I decided to do my time, think about what I have done and get the help I need.

I write this after serving my ten day suspension, issued by... I forgot who issued it... on September 25 2015, I post this on October 5th 2015, ten days after the suspension issue (and Ironically 1 day after my birthday, I am 26 years old now...) as a formal apology.

I got help from a certified psych on Friday, I basically told her my situation, asked for urgent help, admitted my suicidal thoughts and showed her the posts I wrote.

I even admitted to the manipulation I did to get sympathy and validation. I even admitted to myself that I am a whiny, manipulative, entitled, misogynistic manbaby... Despite what everyone has told me I am not strong, I am weak. Someone complimented me on my profile pic saying that I am cute, I am not, I am ugly, disfigured by the ugly self-pitying thoughts that plague me.

So I apologize for the third time to everyone here... I know that some people will not believe me, again I understand. But I ask to join the community again. Starting fresh, with a new account, under the same name.

I wish to be accepted again... I really want to be a part of the Nerdlounge community, If you wish for me to leave, I will understand but I really want to be accepted again.



- With the best intentions at heart -

Alex
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Post by reboot on Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:37 pm

Dude, you did not deeply offend the mods. You annoyed us because you blew off our requests and if you ignore mods long enough you get punished. Think of us as your commanding officer. He or she is not angry or unhappy if you ignore orders. They just punish you in the hopes that you follow them next time.

So welcome back, soldier. Do not make us send you to the brig again Smile
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Post by Enail on Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:41 pm

Seconding what Reboot said. Welcome back! And glad to hear you're talking with a psych.
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Post by Alex1989 on Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:53 pm

reboot wrote:Dude, you did not deeply offend the mods. You annoyed us because you blew off our requests and if you ignore mods long enough you get punished. Think of us as your commanding officer. He or she is not angry or unhappy if you ignore orders. They just punish you in the hopes that you follow them next time.

So welcome back, soldier. Do not make us send you to the brig again Smile

So, can I call you Sarge from now on? Razz
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Post by Alex1989 on Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:55 pm

Enail wrote:Seconding what Reboot said. Welcome back! And glad to hear you're talking with a psych.

Going to see her again on Thursday, It's an army psych, so, now Uncle Sam knows, I initially did not want Uncle Sam knowing about this but... It was the only option I had... Embarassed
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Post by Enail on Mon Oct 05, 2015 2:07 pm

It's a very brave thing to do. Good for you!
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Post by Werel on Mon Oct 05, 2015 2:08 pm

Hey, good work going to see that psych, Alex! Took guts.
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Post by Alex1989 on Mon Oct 05, 2015 2:19 pm

Enail wrote:It's a very brave thing to do. Good for you!

Brave and stupid... mostly brave.
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Post by Alex1989 on Mon Oct 05, 2015 2:24 pm

Werel wrote:Hey, good work going to see that psych, Alex! Took guts.

In the Army's eyes, looking for help is a sign of weakness, despite what they tell us in the briefings.

This is one of the things why so many soldiers are leaving the Army, the lack of compassion and trust. Many soldiers have PTSD and depression and It's like the Army does not give 2 shits about them.

It really pisses me off.

P.S. If someone wishes to talk about the Army and mental health, I will make a thread in the corresponding forum.
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Post by Bumble on Mon Oct 05, 2015 3:12 pm

Welcome back good to see that you're getting help. You will be getting the GI Bill, right?

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Post by Alex1989 on Mon Oct 05, 2015 3:25 pm

Bumble wrote:Welcome back good to see that you're getting help. You will be getting the GI Bill, right?

.....
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Post by Conreezy on Tue Oct 06, 2015 11:19 pm

P.S. If someone wishes to talk about the Army and mental health, I will make a thread in the corresponding forum.

I'd be interested in that discussion. I was never in the military, but I have some experiences with feeling like an expensive tool to my employing government agency.

_________________
Surrender, Belisarius!
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