Re: What's so special about my roommate? (rant)

[DazedAndConfused]

Those are some good starting points! Presumably you've already gone the route of joining movie clubs/political orgs/drawing groups/whatever stuff you most enjoy, where you might meet like-minded women? Or is the problem not meeting the right people, but trouble taking it to the flirting level once you meet someone you're into?

My biggest problem is to actually make it clear that I'm romantically interested in someone. As my best friend, a very sensible and perceptive woman, has put it: "You are a great guy to have a beer with, or to go to a concert with, or to have long, funny, interesting chats with, or to have fun dancing with, but you look gay or asexual to most women you meet. You just don't seem sexually interested in them. Some of them were surprised when I told them you're interested in girls. You're not sexual. You give a "best buddy" vibe, not a "date" vibe."

BTW, karaoke: this is very much a thing you can turn into sexual energy. Find Your Song and do a few practice runs putting your heart into it (either goofy or serious, both can work, though a kind of performative fake earnestness can cover both bases effectively). I had a buddy who was not a great singer or dancer but had a whole faux-80s-suave choreographed bit for New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle," and the couple of times I saw him do it at karaoke, he melted everybody in the room.

That's good to hear. I'm partial to David Bowie songs myself. Especially "Space Oddity", it's pretty much the only song I can sing very well and with a particular passion.

Incidentally the highlight of last month was going to a karaoke night and joining a group of people who were singing the Ballad of Serenity. I got a standing ovation from the group and felt really great!

I also find a sarcastic and slightly biting sense of humor very attractive in a woman. I love women who love black humor and/or surrealist humor.

Do you have a similar sense of humor? Can you do dueling-jokes banter? That can be a good way to build tension sans antagonism, if it's about co-constructing a really absurd hypothetical, or riffing off each other's jokes. Or do you just appreciate those qualities without sharing them?[/quote]

I love dueling jokes and banter. That's my flirting style. Too bad it always seem to be more of a "best buddy" thing than a "sexual tension" thing. I guess it's a matter of delivery, or maybe or body language?

[Werel]

My biggest problem is to actually make it clear that I'm romantically interested in someone. As my best friend, a very sensible and perceptive woman, has put it: "You are a great guy to have a beer with, or to go to a concert with, or to have long, funny, interesting chats with, or to have fun dancing with, but you look gay or asexual to most women you meet. You just don't seem sexually interested in them. Some of them were surprised when I told them you're interested in girls. You're not sexual. You give a "best buddy" vibe, not a "date" vibe."

Ah, okay, then I'll take my reply over to this thread.