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being ghosted: it sucks!!!!!!

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Post by Glides Fri Jun 04, 2021 9:43 pm

so as it turns out, every time things begin to go a little too well, something has to give. what gave was the person i went on the really romantic date with. what gave was them abruptly vanishing with no explanation. last text from them is the most casual of interactions, then radio silence. what did i do wrong? why did they get bored of me? did they even like me? how the fuck do i know??? did they find me on social media? did one of my exes contact them??

i just want to know what i did wrong. i don't think that's a ridiculous thing to ask for. i was trying SO HARD to not do anything wrong and then it went wrong anyway. i really fucking liked this person. like i REALLY liked them. and i feel taken advantage of and betrayed and led on. my confidence was already at an all-time low.

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Post by Enail Sat Jun 05, 2021 5:00 pm

I'm sorry, that sucks. It's pretty likely that it isn't anything to do with you or something you did wrong so much as something going on with them. But it still sucks.
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Post by Glides Sat Jun 05, 2021 10:09 pm

Enail wrote:I'm sorry, that sucks. It's pretty likely that it isn't anything to do with you or something you did wrong so much as something going on with them. But it still sucks.

so my stupid ass made it worse by trying to go on their instagram. private account, i'm not going to try and follow it. i remember the name of their other partner because my other partner is also sexting with them (long story). my other partner tells me they stopped hearing from that person a day after i got cut off. their account is public, and the person i went on two dates with has liked every single post. so if something bad had happened, they wouldn't be doing that. they're only ignoring me. and i am fully aware that doing that justifies their decision to ghost me. felt like a scalpel tearing out my chest to realize it was just me.

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Post by Enail Sat Jun 05, 2021 10:42 pm

Liking posts is a lot less mental energy than interacting directly with someone, there's no point in trying to read into these things. But even if it's just that they decided to break things off with you, I know it hurts, but it doesn't mean anything particular about you, try not to take it as a judgement on you. Being ghosted by someone you really liked is hurtful enough without trying to make it mean something about you.
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Post by Hielario Sun Jun 06, 2021 2:21 pm

Glides, please, please, don't flagellate yourself for this! I've met tons who acted that way no matter how one behaves. It's not your fault. One day they're all over you like you're the best thing since sliced bread, and then the next one, ¬°poof! none of that matters. World's full of people like that. It has nothing to do with whatever random thing you did or did not, so, please, stop torturing yourself. You won't find any reason...they don't need any.

Sigh. I know that feeling way to well. I'd give you my shoulder to cry.

(Also, kudos to your other partner for helping you investigate.)
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Post by Glides Tue Jun 08, 2021 12:55 pm

Enail wrote:Liking posts is a lot less mental energy than interacting directly with someone, there's no point in trying to read into these things. But even if it's just that they decided to break things off with you, I know it hurts, but it doesn't mean anything particular about you, try not to take it as a judgement on you. Being ghosted by someone you really liked is hurtful enough without trying to make it mean something about you.

Hielario wrote:Glides, please, please, don't flagellate yourself for this! I've met tons who acted that way no matter how one behaves. It's not your fault. One day they're all over you like you're the best thing since sliced bread, and then the next one, ¬°poof! none of that matters. World's full of people like that. It has nothing to do with whatever random thing you did or did not, so, please, stop torturing yourself. You won't find any reason...they don't need any.

Sigh. I know that feeling way to well. I'd give you my shoulder to cry.

(Also, kudos to your other partner for helping you investigate.)

i talked about it with my partner (the one not currently ghosting me) and they had mentioned the last conversation they had with my other partner's other partner (yeah it's weird, that's probably the red flag i was ignoring) involved them talking about really hating safe sex and wanting to have unsafe sex with someone. so the theory is the two became monogamous and cut us both off at the same time because "they have each other, they won't be sad."

surprise!! we're both sad as shit about this!!


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Post by Enail Tue Jun 08, 2021 2:13 pm

Well, that sucks! But at least you know what's up now, and that it's not anything you did wrong.
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Post by Glides Fri Jun 11, 2021 12:22 pm

Enail wrote:Well, that sucks! But at least you know what's up now, and that it's not anything you did wrong.

another person i was talking to just broke things off, but at least this one was nice enough to directly say so. that hurts too. lot of pain this week. i spoke way too fucking soon in the good news bit. this is what i get for letting my guard down.

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Post by KarenDavidson Tue Aug 03, 2021 10:23 am

Hi, I really understand your situation. Once upon a time the same thing happened to me, I kind of tried too hard all the time and I got wiped out. Over time, I stopped trying, started doing things to others like I once did, and I was just amazed at how my life and attitude changed!!! And even though I behaved in the worst way, I was only treated better.
It's a very strange world!!
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