Putting Yourself Out There vs Training Ratio

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Putting Yourself Out There vs Training Ratio Empty Putting Yourself Out There vs Training Ratio

Post by Jayce on Wed Feb 25, 2015 6:43 am

I know two of the most important factors to dating success and making a social circle are actively pursuing and approaching dates/friends and working to improve youself. However I've been wondering what is a good balance between the two?

Currently I do work on myself more than I put myself out there and I'm wondering if I should be doing the latter a bit more. I do socialise every week and have a busier social life now that I have more friends I see recurringly. My average going out to socialise rate is about twice per week. That lowers sometimes to one when I have university assignments due. I'm doing a double degree, and I'm getting a Mathematics major, so it does take a chunk of my time. And due to other factors like long travel time, part time job, I don't find myself havng too much going out time, especially at night. I do have decent spare time, but they usually come in chunks (like two hours in the afternoon etc..). But I do really want to work on dating, so if I'm not socialising enough, I'll see what I can do to squeeze out more time.

To realistically pursuing dating success and making more friends as a serious goal that I care about, what is a minimum recommended threshold for going to social events each week, or each month?


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Putting Yourself Out There vs Training Ratio Empty Re: Putting Yourself Out There vs Training Ratio

Post by Gman on Wed Feb 25, 2015 7:16 am

Well, the way I see things is that "working on yourself" and approaching dates/friends aren't entirley dissconnected things that you need to fully prioritize between them. I think about it in a more holistic and symbiotic way - they each feed off from one another and strenghten each other... even if all you do is socialize and work on yourself (without trying to get dates/friends), I think it can help to strengthen other aspects (like self confidence) that can later come in handy when dealing with potential dates/friends.

It sounds that considering your very intensive schedule, going out once or twice a week sounds perfectly fine. As a University Student, I usually go out 2-3 times a week (some of the things I go out to don't cost me money, like weekly community events and such), but I still find myself as an exception - because I don't have a job yet, so this allows me some extra time to dedicate to my social skills. I'm sure that once I do find a job, it'll go down to at least once a week, maximum twice. So I think that on that subject, your totally fine.


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