Re: Rants

[nearly_takuan]

Just because I live with you, I'm not allowed to be (as you put it) sad and alone? I think it would be very strange if your love for me was at all similar, in either quantity or quality, to your love for your lawfully-wedded spouse. Given the sheer apparent improbability of anyone ever feeling that specific way about me, yes, "sad and alone" is a term that resonates very strongly with me. That hurts your feelings? Too fucking bad. (Except of course I instead just excuse myself, having already established that I sometimes just disappear for no reason anyway.)

[kath]

Drives me crazy when people ask me for help with a tech thing, I just actually read the content of the page involved and tell them what they need to do, and they're like "oh you're so much better at this than me". The secret I know is, read the content of the page you're confused about. Push the edit buttons if they exist and see what they say.

I am much less cranky helping people figure that out if they don't say I'm "just better at it" because then it's like "I could never figure out how to read the content of pages I'm looking at and see if I can get closer to an answer that way".

[nearly_takuan]

(This, by the way, is yet another person I haven't talked about on here before, or interacted much with in online contexts. So don't worry, or whatever.)

When I said I was okay with being friends, I sincerely meant it. But when you said you weren't really looking to date presently, I thought you meant that too.

And no, it isn't that I think you're a horrible person for wanting to date people who aren't me. Honestly, that's so status-quo (in addition to seemingly coming up even more frequently of late) it hardly seems worth getting especially upset about that sort of thing anymore. It's that you pretended something else. It's that you chose to start off with a lie, and didn't bother to correct it. It's that you got to vent, and hear sympathy, and feel loved and valued and appreciated in all the ways you wanted, and you let me give you those things in exchange for a "maybe" you knew, you knew, was never an actual possibility. I knew it wasn't a promise, but I thought that still implied uncertainty.

I am still writing the dialogue wheels for expressing to you the gist of all this. But I am hopeful that we can be adults. I will not raise a fuss if we happen to be invited to the same stuff. I will be discreet and so forth. And you clearly have no qualms about hiding or heavily distorting information when it suits you.

(This is what happens, apparently, when I try to step up my interactions with new women a notch or several: I get rejected a notch or several more often.)

[Robjection]

Man, nearly, you getting rejected like that really sucks. The fact that she said she wasn't looking to date may have been nothing more than a soft no, but that feeling of betrayal can be really hard to deal with.

That said:

It's that you got to vent, and hear sympathy, and feel loved and valued and appreciated in all the ways you wanted, and you let me give you those things in exchange for a "maybe" you knew, you knew, was never an actual possibility.

You speak as if allowing someone to vent, giving them sympathy, etc. are things people don't do for friends, only for (potential) romantic partners. Given the relationships I've had with my friends in the past, I would have to object vehemently to this. So, with that in mind, what this woman was giving in exchange for those things was her friendship. That you thought what you were getting in exchange was a shot at a romantic relationship ... well, that's kinda your problem rather than hers.

[nearly_takuan]

No, those are things I'm glad to do with friends (even when, as in this case, they are not). I just would prefer that friends not be that particular flavor of dishonest. If it had been clear from the start how she felt I likely would have chosen the Let's Be Friends option anyway, but it would be an informed choice. Instead I had different information and now have even more different information and so am making a different informed choice.

[Enail]

I'm going to ask that you watch yourself on how you express that sort of thought in the future in the Rants thread, NT. This line:

you let me give you those things in exchange for a "maybe" you knew, you knew, was never an actual possibility

gives the impression you are complaining about the fact that your friendship actions did not have the possibility of being rewarded with romance rather than about your frustration with a phrase you feel was dishonest, which is not exactly an uncontroversial thing to express here and thus doesn't belong in the Rants thread.

[nearly_takuan]

a phrase you feel was dishonest,

Oh, maybe that's the part I was insufficiently clear about.

We had a "DTR" talk way back when. It's not like there was just one slightly-ambiguous phrase I happened to interpret incorrectly, that I feel was dishonest. I say this without lightness and with no room for reasonable doubt: I was lied to.

She doesn't see it that way, natch. As Robjection predicted, in her mind that still counts as a "soft no". Consolation: she "can understand how I would feel this way". Yay.

And everything else on my mind right now is also the kind of stuff somebody here would want to argue about, so whatever.

[caliseivy]

This is getting out of hand, and you are full of it.
I reminded you, multiple times that I had a meeting at 8:30 that I was required to be at. So what do you do, you get your ass together and come downstairs at 8:20, much later than you normally do, and then take your time dealing with the car and getting the newspaper and this is the perfect time to take out the recycling because it can't possibly wait until you get back. Then you have the fucking nerve to catch attitude with me because I left my dirty bowl in the dishpan filled with soapy water because it was 8:20 and I figured we'd have to rush out of the house so I wouldn't be too late? The same damn thing that you yourself do on a regular basis before taking me to work? If I had known you were going to screw around I would have washed them like I normally do. I might as well have, since we didn't leave until after 8:30 anyway.

I can't deal with your shit anymore, and it pisses me off that I have to now inconvenience myself even more because you're passive-aggressively making things needlessly difficult for me, just like you did when I was younger. If not for then I wouldn't need you to drive me now. You don't work, you don't have any real responsibilities at all and you agreed to do this one thing but now act like you can't even be trusted to do it without problems. If you don't feel well or something just say so; if you don't want to do it anymore just fucking say so, but don't screw around and keep making me late all the time because it's something you don't want to do or don't consider a priority.
If you're not going to keep up your end of the bargain and give me attitude like I'm inconveniencing you with this then forget it. I'll just go back to catching the bus. I'm not going to deal with your shit and keep paying for gas money to be late to work while you make little trips to stores or wherever you want to go on the gas that I've been keeping in the car in exchange for being taken to work.

[Wondering]

Dear people posting memes complaining about how fast food workers shouldn't get paid $15/hour (or whatever amount) because that's how much you make and you're a skilled worker: Yes, you're right! Fast food employees should not be making as much as skilled workers. You should be making more, too! Maybe try being on the same side instead of tearing others down?

[litterature]

Dear people posting memes complaining about how fast food workers shouldn't get paid $15/hour (or whatever amount) because that's how much you make and you're a skilled worker: Yes, you're right! Fast food employees should not be making as much as skilled workers. You should be making more, too! Maybe try being on the same side instead of tearing others down?

A thousand times this. I'd never heard that about fast food workers, but I've heard people complain bitterly and make really acerbic comments about public servants having, you know, decent contracts and reasonable working conditions.

[CP96]

Dear people posting memes complaining about how fast food workers shouldn't get paid $15/hour (or whatever amount) because that's how much you make and you're a skilled worker: Yes, you're right! Fast food employees should not be making as much as skilled workers. You should be making more, too! Maybe try being on the same side instead of tearing others down?

A thousand times this. I'd never heard that about fast food workers, but I've heard people complain bitterly and make really acerbic comments about public servants having, you know, decent contracts and reasonable working conditions.

"Fast food workers in NY just won a $15/hr wage.
I’m a paramedic. My job requires a broad set of skills: interpersonal, medical, and technical skills, as well as the crucial skill of performing under pressure. I often make decisions on my own, in seconds, under chaotic circumstances, that impact people’s health and lives. I make $15/hr.
And these burger flippers think they deserve as much as me?

Good for them.

Look, if any job is going to take up someone’s life, it deserves a living wage. If a job exists and you have to hire someone to do it, they deserve a living wage. End of story. There’s a lot of talk going around my workplace along the lines of, “These guys with no education and no skills think they deserve as much as us? Fuck those guys.” And elsewhere on FB: “I’m a licensed electrician, I make $13/hr, fuck these burger flippers.”
And that’s exactly what the bosses want! They want us fighting over who has the bigger pile of crumbs so we don’t realize they made off with almost the whole damn cake. Why are you angry about fast food workers making two bucks more an hour when your CEO makes four hundred TIMES what you do? It’s in the bosses’ interests to keep your anger directed downward, at the poor people who are just trying to get by, like you, rather than at the rich assholes who consume almost everything we produce and give next to nothing for it.

My company, as they’re so fond of telling us in boosterist emails, cleared 1.3 billion dollars last year. They expect guys supporting families on 26-27k/year to applaud that. And that’s to say nothing of the techs and janitors and cashiers and bed pushers who make even less than us, but are as absolutely crucial to making a hospital work as the fucking CEO or the neurosurgeons. Can they pay us more? Absolutely. But why would they? No one’s making them.
The workers in NY *made* them. They fought for and won a living wage. So how incredibly petty and counterproductive is it to fuss that their pile of crumbs is bigger than ours? Put that energy elsewhere. Organize. Fight. Win."
— Jens Rushing

[eselle28]

Looking at pornography is not some gateway sexual transgression that inevitably results in you cheating on your spouse. If you've looked at pornography, you're in the same boat as many adults. If you've looked at pornography and also cheated, you're a cheater. Not a victim. A cheater.

[caliseivy]

Dear people posting memes complaining about how fast food workers shouldn't get paid $15/hour (or whatever amount) because that's how much you make and you're a skilled worker: Yes, you're right! Fast food employees should not be making as much as skilled workers. You should be making more, too! Maybe try being on the same side instead of tearing others down?

A thousand times this. I'd never heard that about fast food workers, but I've heard people complain bitterly and make really acerbic comments about public servants having, you know, decent contracts and reasonable working conditions.

I've realized why the arguments against higher wages pisses me off so much: it reminds me of my experiences working fast food and customer service as a young adult and how that minimum wage didn't provide me extra cash to enjoy, it barely provided enough to pay my senior dues the following school year. With textbook rentals and lower prices things may have changed a bit for newer students, but when I was attending college in the past, working the minimum wage job over the summer and winter breaks just barely provided enough money to pay for my textbooks for the following semester.

[Wondering]

Yeah, and the thing is, I just don't get it. I don't. If you work 40 hours a week, you should make a living wage for yourself. Maybe not to support anyone else, but at the very least, for yourself. Why does this idea make people so angry? Is it jealousy? Is it the anger of also being oppressed and needing a convenient outlet?

(And btw, good for the NYC fast food workers getting $15/hour! But are you going to pretend that's a living wage in NYC? Please, tell me another.)

(And I'm very happy to support Ikea. If I don't need their furniture, at least I'll buy their meatballs. http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/on-leadership/wp/2014/06/26/ikea-to-raise-workers-pay-to-a-living-wage/)

[CP96]

Yeah, and the thing is, I just don't get it. I don't. If you work 40 hours a week, you should make a living wage for yourself. Maybe not to support anyone else, but at the very least, for yourself. Why does this idea make people so angry? Is it jealousy? Is it the anger of also being oppressed and needing a convenient outlet?

What really annoys me is that the same people are usually the first to make their anger at "benefit scroungers" known. So which is it? Do you want people to make a living wage so that they don't need additional government assistance. Or do you want them to be making poverty wages and claiming the shortfall in benefits? You can't have it both ways.

[BiSian]

Looking at pornography is not some gateway sexual transgression that inevitably results in you cheating on your spouse. If you've looked at pornography, you're in the same boat as many adults. If you've looked at pornography and also cheated, you're a cheater. Not a victim. A cheater.

Agreed. However:

BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA!!!!

Schadenfreude when aimed at Duggars is a marvelous feeling

[litterature]

Looking at pornography is not some gateway sexual transgression that inevitably results in you cheating on your spouse. If you've looked at pornography, you're in the same boat as many adults. If you've looked at pornography and also cheated, you're a cheater. Not a victim. A cheater.

Agreed. However:

BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA!!!!

Schadenfreude when aimed at Duggars is a marvelous feeling

lol, I'm so sad he's taken the "re-broken their trust" line out.

[jcorozza]

Hey doctors in psychiatric wards: if you're going to discharge your patients on Friday afternoon with no meds, for the love of otters, don't prescribe them things that pharmacies don't carry and have to order. If your chew-able Zyprexa is going to work the same way as the regular Zyprexa, prescribe the one we can find in a damn store. And don't ask like you're doing me some huge favor when you call in that version of the script. This is your job. You get paid much better than I do for it.

[BasedBuzzed]

Good, bad, I'm the one with the marshmallows whenever something is burning. Mock and be mocked, and grow the skin to actually do both in equal measure before crying foul.

[kath]

OK family. When you make a frame for somebody else's art, you check that you actually understand their instructions instead of clearly ignoring what you didn't understand, and you don't make the frame cover the edges of the piece. Which wasn't made to have a frame, so of course it needs all of its edges to give it some visual room to breathe!

Also this piece was like, painted on a piece of scrap cardboard for a reason. The fancy beautiful frame you made is lovely, but it's not exactly in keeping with the art. But the person I gave it to wants a frame, so sure, give it a frame. Just listen to me when I tell you what it should be like.

My mom said it was like "watching your favourite child wear ugly clothes for the rest of their life."

[Werel]

Something about an entire airport with no water fountains (in a place where tap water makes you sick) so that you have to pay $4 for a bottle of what should be a basic human right really steams my potatoes.

[Werel]

And sorry for double rant, but:

Of course the airline loses my luggage, containing all non-pajama clothes I own, the night before I have to teach my first undergrad class. "Hey kids, as you can see from my attire, this is going to be an informal classroom atmosphere..."

[Guest]

Something about an entire airport with no water fountains (in a place where tap water makes you sick) so that you have to pay $4 for a bottle of what should be a basic human right really steams my potatoes.

And sorry for double rant, but:

Of course the airline loses my luggage, containing all non-pajama clothes I own, the night before I have to teach my first undergrad class. "Hey kids, as you can see from my attire, this is going to be an informal classroom atmosphere..."

I don't mean to laugh at your pain, but holy crap "steams my potatoes" and picturing you teaching small children made giggle uncontrollably.  

As for my rant? My swim coach tells me that the pool will ready at 1pm, I come back and I keep seeing a bunch of young women in their own swim suits. "Oookay," I think to myself. Come out in *my* swim suit & shirt and Coach says "You're not thinkin' of coming in right now, are you? Women's Water Polo is practicing right now, sorry."

Fuuuuck, my life. You and the pool maintenance people are killing me here.

[litterature]

And sorry for double rant, but:

Of course the airline loses my luggage, containing all non-pajama clothes I own, the night before I have to teach my first undergrad class. "Hey kids, as you can see from my attire, this is going to be an informal classroom atmosphere..."

Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that! :<
Hope the rest of the visit goes better than that!

[BasedBuzzed]

Get mocked for being a belligerent bellend? Abloo bloo you just can't handle someone who doesn't coach everything in sweet talk.

Okay junior, that just leaves sour, bitter, salty or tasteless. Take your fucking pick.

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