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Online Dating Rants

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Post by eselle28 Sun Aug 16, 2015 8:01 pm

So as not to clutter up the general thread.
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Post by eselle28 Sun Aug 16, 2015 8:05 pm

I gather from your profile that you're a high testosterone, ambitious and organized, over-achieving feminist lefty.

Well...no...actually I'm only about half of those things. But thanks for trying to play fortune teller.


I on the other hand, am an antediluvian traditionalist who thinks that not only should you be on your sixth child by now but that in fact, you'd be far happier under such circumstances.

Again, thanks for telling me how I should have organized my life. I'm regularly looking for input on this from strangers.

I'll go one further: I suspect I could run circles around your solicitor's arguments if you'd be able to avoid imagining that labeling an idea does not discount it's relevance.

Oh dear.

Perhaps at this point, you're put off and quite sure we wouldn't get along and you might be right but you'd likely be surprised by my easy charm and adaptability. I work with feminists, including two lesbians and there is nothing but mutual admiration between us.

"Some of my best friends..." already? We haven't even argued about politics yet.


So if you're willing to consider someone of contrary mind an opinions as a friend or what have you, feel free to write back.

You know, sometimes I am. I certainly have friends who have very different worldviews. They're just...less insufferable.

What even motivates these messages? I occasionally write to people who seem quite different from me, but I generally spend a clause acknowledging the difference and then try to start a conversation about whatever it was that made me think we might have something in common. (Oh, and joy. Despite being a self-described "antediluvian traditionalist," he marks it as an unacceptable answer if a woman expresses a lack of interest in group sex.)


Last edited by eselle28 on Sun Aug 16, 2015 8:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by The Wisp Sun Aug 16, 2015 8:12 pm

Wow. I mean... that is so weird that I'm tempted to say it's much more likely to be deliberate trolling than a serious message. Or, maybe he has really really bad social calibration and thought he was being funny in a hipster sexism sort of way.
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Post by eselle28 Sun Aug 16, 2015 8:23 pm

The Wisp wrote:Wow. I mean... that is so weird that I'm tempted to say it's much more likely to be deliberate trolling than a serious message. Or, maybe he has really really bad social calibration and thought he was being funny in a hipster sexism sort of way.

I guess it depends on what definition of trolling we're using. The person who sent the message has an average-length with multiple pictures and has answered 500+ questions with numerous elaborations, which apart from the threesome question seem to echo the views expressed in his message. I don't think this is someone who made his profile with the sole intent of annoying others.

Do I think he'd be as happy getting into a political argument with me as getting a message where I shrugged and said he was cute and suggested we get a drink? Yes, I think he would. I also think I remember that this telling someone who they are business is a PUA move, so maybe it's some weird school of contrarian game.
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Post by litterature Sun Aug 16, 2015 8:45 pm

Lol! I reckon "including two lesbians" has good meme potential. "Military dictatorship including two lesbians", "cult suicide including two lesbians", "mass layoffs including two lesbians", "Phil Collins gig including two lesbians".

Anyway, what a fine gentleman, true charmer there. He reminds me of some Twitter profile I stumbled upon once, a guy who said he was a "true liberal" (in the European sense of the word, ie cutthroat descendant of Reagan/Thatcher who also loves talking about freedom and democracy) and posted nothing but pictures of himself in a top hat, with the caption "the living image of a true liberal!", and variations on "I just arrived in Leeds for a lecture. Yorkshire girls are sooo uuuuuggggllyyyy uuugghhhh". He actually had like 10 tweets in a row like this: "I'm giving my lecture in 5 minutes. Leeds is full of uuuuuglyyyy wooommeeeennn". "The lecture went great. It's oogly oop north." "In the airport. Every single girl in Leeds is ugly."

(I deleted my Twitter account two days later.)
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Post by BasedBuzzed Sun Aug 16, 2015 9:04 pm

Brb, Imma try a "You are X, Y, Z and have also never heard of the Forer Effect." to woo a blank profile.

As for myself, got access info to the dummy profile again and peeps are still shite at getting responses right. Besides the usual fare I have a new virtual hateclit for self-deprecating tl;dr emoji-filled messages attached to a meek profile that doesn't show that that person actually is passionate about anything in his life.

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Post by litterature Sun Aug 16, 2015 9:15 pm

eselle28 wrote:Do I think he'd be as happy getting into a political argument with me as getting a message where I shrugged and said he was cute and suggested we get a drink? Yes, I think he would. I also think I remember that this telling someone who they are business is a PUA move, so maybe it's some weird school of contrarian game.

But it sounds incredibly stupid - you open by pissing all over someone and then go "oh, but I work with people whom I've decided to give the same label I'm giving you and we get along fine. Including two lesbians!!!!!" It's not very convincing. Plus what is he looking for? If he wants to meet someone who buys into the 50's housewife thing, then it makes no sense to open like that. I don't know, it seems goofy in a bad way and very annoying.

And yeah, I think he'd be happy with a political argument in a perverse way. He'd be able to flaunt his crappy """""humour""""" and his stupid "views", and I get the feeling he might be the kind of person who feels happy complaining about their Internet arguments with evil ideological rivals from outer space. Blagh.
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Post by jcorozza Mon Aug 17, 2015 7:52 am

Ooh, are we playing Spot the Biggest Asshole?

So, this happened:

SuperFeministDood (not the real username): Hey, how's it going? I love your random trunk goodness lol. I'd totally eat your melted gushers, those things rock! I'd be down for some board games together(do you play Monopoly?). I'm cool with you being a feminist, I'm the same. I have a pretty silly sense of humor, and an overactive imagination to boot:) We should totally chat sometime.

-Randy

Okay, not bad in and of itself. So I checked out the profile/questions. Some didn't seem super feminist, so...

Me: So..a feminist who still wants his partner to take his last name?

SFD: Yeah, what's wrong with that? I'm sorry if that offends you, but that is the tradition I'm used to. And hello to you too...

(Yay, non-apology apologies!)

Me: Well, you mentioned being feminist, and that, and some of your other answers, makes me question that a bit.

SFD: Let me clarify it for you. I believe in equal rights for men and women. We should be treated equally. I have a lot of love and respect for women in general. My cousins gf told me I was a feminist. I may not agree with or know everything about feminism though, so don't be so harsh towards me.

(Apparently equal rights doesn't mean women get to choose whether or not they should shave their legs, though. Also, at this point, I just started poking the bear.)

Me: Care to explain...this one?: Would you consider dating someone who has vocalized a strong negative bias toward a certain race of people?
SFD: It depends on which race.

SFD: I feel some races have more bad people that I've come across than others. That's my opinion, and I'm entitled to it. Wow, whatever happened to just getting to know somebody, rather than see how quickly you can attack them and pick them apart?

Me: You are, and I'm entitled to think that that opinion..seems pretty racist. I wanted to give you a chance to clarify in case it wasn't actually meant to be racist.

(His clarifications, if anything, are making him sound MORE racist)

SFD: I mean what is your damage?

(What year is this?)

Me: I didn't know I wasn't allowed to ask for people to clarify their views. I thought this was a dating site, where people answered questions, and those answers were public. How dare I want to know about the views of a person I'm considering dating!

(and now for the double-down:)

SFD: If that's an issue, best of luck to you. Everybody is a little racist in some way. I don't like anybody Islam because of ISIS. Every time you turn around when something crime related is on the news, 90% of the time the person is a black male. I mean wtf is a person supposed to think?? I guess you're perfect, right?

(and the part where I'm being an uptight oversensitive ladyperson:)

SFD: Wow, wound tight a little much are we?

Me: Um, whoa. Not all Muslims are in ISIS. A person is supposed to think...that other factors may be involved. Like poverty, or oppression, or education, or class. Yup. Because I'd prefer not to date/hang out with racists, I'm uptight. Sounds legit.

SFD: Right. And when one of them kills somebody you care about, get back to me on that one. Later. Get over yourself, girl. Best of luck, you're going to need it! Bye!

50 points to Slytherin for all that, SFD.

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Post by Nerdator Mon Aug 17, 2015 11:42 am

I don't like anybody Islam — this is class!
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Post by jcorozza Mon Aug 17, 2015 1:16 pm

Yeah, I didn't even attempt to explain that a person isn't Islam.
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Post by Wondering Mon Aug 17, 2015 1:30 pm

I feel you're insulting Slytherin with that one. Wink

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Post by Xexyz Tue Aug 18, 2015 2:24 am

I'm considering deleting most or all of my answers on OKC's question section. It just seems that a lot of them are designed to signal more than the answer itself - or at least that's how many people appear to take them. I just really don't have the desire to sit and figure out the "correct" answer. Furthermore, most of the question & answers seem designed to force you to answer in a way that comes across as judgmental, which also bothers me. I've been have tempted to create a fake profile where I answer all those questions in the most horrible way possible as a big fuck you to OKC.

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Post by BasedBuzzed Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:05 am

"dismantling oppressive structures" "being a feminist killjoy" "concerned with social justice"

It's no different than "having fun", "forgetting things" or "having a drink with friends" in how empty of content such a statement is. How hard is it to specify what you do with it/what you read about it/what your role models are on these topics? Blegh.

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Post by Robjection Tue Aug 18, 2015 12:47 pm

Wondering wrote:I feel you're insulting Slytherin with that one. Wink
#NotAllSlytherin

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Post by jcorozza Tue Aug 18, 2015 1:23 pm

Pottermore actually sorted me into Slytherin. Which is wrong, because I am clearly a Ravenpuff.
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Post by Enail Tue Aug 18, 2015 1:34 pm

I also got Slytherin on Pottermore, but I am probably at least a Slytherpuff, so no complaints from me. I liked that test for how well it avoided the "how do you eat your toast? Bravely, sneakily, intelligently or yummm toast?" problem most Hogwarts house tests have but still seemed to be getting at something relevant to the houses.
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Post by Gentleman Johnny Tue Aug 18, 2015 1:56 pm

I had an account and forgot it so I made a new one with my primary email. Slytherin the first time, Ravenclaw the second. Age and wisdom may beat youth and enthusiasm but wisdom and treachery wins every time. Grin

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Post by Wondering Tue Aug 18, 2015 2:56 pm

I was sorted into Ravenclaw, which is...exactly where I should be sorted. So, go test! I mean, Sorting Hat!

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Post by WJMorris3 Fri Aug 21, 2015 2:40 pm

<vent> You know, it'd be nice to get a message that isn't how I'm "unfit to be anyone's boyfriend" and that I should off myself. I know I'm different, I know my mindset isn't the same as everyone else, but to send that as your first message?</vent>

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Post by Robjection Fri Aug 21, 2015 3:37 pm

To send that as any message, let alone the first, is downright douchey. Part of me is curious as to how these people came to the conclusion that you wouldn't be a good boyfriend for anyone, although that might just be because I want to go all Phoenix Wright on their collective ass.

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Post by WJMorris3 Fri Aug 21, 2015 3:43 pm

Robjection wrote:To send that as any message, let alone the first, is downright douchey. Part of me is curious as to how these people came to the conclusion that you wouldn't be a good boyfriend for anyone, although that might just be because I want to go all Phoenix Wright on their collective ass.
Probably because my profile says I'm not interested in sex. Just for the record, I hadn't contacted her; she contacted me.

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Post by Robjection Fri Aug 21, 2015 4:17 pm

WJMorris3 wrote:
Robjection wrote:To send that as any message, let alone the first, is downright douchey. Part of me is curious as to how these people came to the conclusion that you wouldn't be a good boyfriend for anyone, although that might just be because I want to go all Phoenix Wright on their collective ass.
Probably because my profile says I'm not interested in sex. Just for the record, I hadn't contacted her; she contacted me.
Oh, she's that kind of person. innocent

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Post by WJMorris3 Fri Aug 21, 2015 5:39 pm

Robjection wrote:
WJMorris3 wrote:
Robjection wrote:To send that as any message, let alone the first, is downright douchey. Part of me is curious as to how these people came to the conclusion that you wouldn't be a good boyfriend for anyone, although that might just be because I want to go all Phoenix Wright on their collective ass.
Probably because my profile says I'm not interested in sex. Just for the record, I hadn't contacted her; she contacted me.
Oh, she's that kind of person. innocent
I'm going to take that as meaning she's normal because I'm used to being rejected.

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Post by jcorozza Sat Aug 22, 2015 12:36 am

That goes way beyond being rejected. Most people don't like to reject, they're just forced to because someone asked. This person is purposely pre-rejecting. That's messed up.
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Post by Guest Sat Aug 22, 2015 12:37 am

This isn't so much a rant as it is a complaint about Tinder.

Every match I've gotten over the last few weeks sans for maybe one... All of them fucking bots. I also greatly dislike how these women will have pics of themselves in a group, that turns out to be the same group in every pic they have in their profile. Hum. :I

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