Re: Emotional Labor

[reboot]

.....

And he gets annoyed that no one asks him questions about the baby.

This drives my brother and SIL crazy. He is the more nurturing of the two and the one who keeps on top of kid related things, but he either gets the "Oh you are such a great Dad!" for doing things no one would notice if my SIL did them or gets treated like he knows nothing and is incapable of parenting. Teachers, doctors, whatevers will ask my SIL questions, she defers to my brother, he answers, and then they turn to my SIL to give instructions or information DESPITE HER TELLING THEM TO TALK TO MY BROTHER BECAUSE HE IS PRIMARY CAREGIVER.

[Wondering]

This will be my second Mother's Day. I normally plan family holiday events that aren't days for me (i.e., not my birthday or my anniversary). Last year, I told my dad and brother that I wasn't planning for Mother's Day anymore. And since we were moving the week after, I absented myself from all discussions related to my mom. This year, my dad emails me and my brother to ask what the plan is for Mother's Day. I responded that I'm doing no planning work for Mother's Day; tell me what the plan is, and we (me, husband, baby) will show up.

You would think I took the oxygen away from my dad and brother. They flounder. No idea what to do or even ask. And then my dad says he'll ask my mom what to do.

This is not my job any more, dudes! I told you this a year ago. Figure out how to plan on your own. And don't make Mom do it in your place.

[Wondering]

It's been a while since this thread has been used, but I saw this comic this week and thought it would be fitting here.

https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

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