Long introduction - Is it too late?

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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by Enail on Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:24 pm

Glad you're getting help with that, it sounds tough!
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by thebeardeddragon on Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:29 pm

Essentially, stress and other life events trigger me to go on lengthy binges of eating the worst food possible in unhealthy quantities, essentially stuffing myself until I almost burst.

Weird thing is I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders knowing this, that finally this problem I've had with food for years is a thing that can decoded, broken down and solved.

The downside is as having just started treatment, need to remove all possible triggers until we can narrow down the specifics and figure out how I can process them in a healthy way. As dating/socializing is and has always been stress full I have to step back from it, basically one rejection or flaked date could send me downhill and fast.
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by Enail on Thu Oct 12, 2017 5:12 pm

Sounds like it's for the best to step back from it, then, and like working on this will make dating and socializing easier in the long run, too. And I don't think it's weird at all to feel better having a way to make sense of something that you've been struggling with!
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by Datelessman on Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:39 pm

The first step in recovery is learning there's a problem. I'm glad you have the courage to seek therapy and the determination to see it through. Neither are easy. It's fine to focus on making yourself as healthy and happy as possible. Good luck with everything, Dragon. You can do this.
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by thebeardeddragon on Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:40 pm

Popping my head back in to say it's progressing. This is one of the most intense things I've ever done, a lot of dark areas of my psyche are getting explored and brought to the surface and examined. I've had 2 relapses and binged heavy but the binge episodes are much more spaced out than before. One small mental victory was 2 days on my morning run, I wore a compression layer. Does not sound like much but is major for me, for years I wore the biggest and baggiest clothes in public as shame and hate of my body was so intense so for me to be willing to be seen outside in form fitting clothes is a big step.
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by Datelessman on Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:18 pm

thebeardeddragon wrote:Popping my head back in to say it's progressing. This is one of the most intense things I've ever done, a lot of dark areas of my psyche are getting explored and brought to the surface and examined. I've had 2 relapses and binged heavy but the binge episodes are much more spaced out than before. One small mental victory was 2 days on my morning run, I wore a compression layer. Does not sound like much but is major for me, for years I wore the biggest and baggiest clothes in public as shame and hate of my body was so intense so for me to be willing to be seen outside in form fitting clothes is a big step.

We all take big steps in our own ways, in relative terms. Good on you for slowly beginning to accept your body.
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by thebeardeddragon on Wed Apr 18, 2018 6:54 pm

Just checking in. Recovery progresses been in therapy since February and it's helped tremendously. One bit of good news is looks like I might be getting a full time job and doing my last year of college part time. This will be major as I can move out of my folks place and gets rid of the shame when I socialize when people ask me where I stay.
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by Werel on Wed Apr 18, 2018 7:28 pm

That's awesome, congrats on the progress! Hope it all keeps coming together for you.
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by Datelessman on Fri Apr 20, 2018 2:23 pm

Great news! I hope things continue to go well for you!
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by thebeardeddragon on Wed Oct 17, 2018 7:43 am

Been a long time since you heard from me. Apologies for the delay, but there is a good reason for it. Been in therapy, which has helped a lot (Many friends have commented on something different about me). But main update which I am sure you guys are waiting for, I am now two months into a very, very happy relationship.

The story of how we got together: We were friends on Facebook for a long time, she added me due to us sharing a few mutual friends. Nothing really happened till back in April, was a concert in our town and she was also in attendance, she saw me but wasn't sure it was me walked over and said hi but i my attention was elsewhere and was kind of startled by somebody randomly saying hello to me, but she kind of retreated thinking she had the wrong guy. I though nothing of it till next morning, she PM's me apologizing and says "Hey if you ever want to talk, I'm here" and I thank her for being so friendly and do nothing (I know now, she was showing her interest) Over the summer I realize this but my anxious brain tells me "No way she'd be interested, you blew your chance" and so I just let it go. Time to time I open up messenger, start to write out a message to her but bail as I feel i missed my chance.

Come to August, she messages me out of the blue, but this time I take the opportunity and a week later, we have coffee and hit it off. She's a Sci-fi geek just like me and she confesses all summer she though of messaging me but she thought there was no way I'd be interested, and she'd missed her chance (turns out her bestie encouraged her to message me for a date).

So we're two months in, and yes I disclosed my virgin status the first night we got hot and heavy and she's totally cool with it. So we're just figuring out what we both like in the touching and kissing department, learning what my body responds to (I've been single for 13 years) and taking our time before we go for the full distance so to speak. It's great, we're communicating openly about sex and what we do in the bedroom and she tells me it's hot as hell that I seek consent.

It was a bit of a whirlwind, but therapy helped and it was when I accepted myself and started loving myself that things fell into place (cheesy as it sounds, it's true). So even though we we've been together for just two months there was an intense mutual attraction there burning but we got there. So thanks for all the great advice guys! I know there will be bumps in the road but for first time ever I feel at ease in a relationship Smile I'm looking forward to the coming days and months with her Smile
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by Enail on Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:27 pm

Oh, that's great! Congratulations!
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by Werel on Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:33 pm

That's awesome, so glad to hear things are going well for you! Congratulations, and have fun!
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

Post by Hielario on Wed Oct 17, 2018 5:46 pm

Good to know at least someone here finally has some luck!
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Re: Long introduction - Is it too late?

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