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ok we're gonna try this again

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Post by Glides Tue Jan 21, 2020 10:31 pm

therapist said, "you need to start dating again, if you're comfortable."

i've tried okcupid, no luck. lost my virginity through tinder but that's mostly bots. bumble sounds like...it won't work.

fetlife is the only one i haven't tried. should i do that? what are good options for queer chronically ill assholes?

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Post by Hielario Mon Jan 27, 2020 2:22 pm

Honestly, OKC is the only site I know with options for non-binary people like you. Back when I still had the heart for it, I even met one or two through that site.

I know of a couple of specifically queer apps, but I don't think they're a good match for you. Two of them are mostly gay men, and the other...I don't know, it's oriented to lesbians.
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Post by Glides Mon Jan 27, 2020 4:38 pm

Hielario wrote:Honestly, OKC is the only site I know with options for non-binary people like you. Back when I still had the heart for it, I even met one or two through that site.

I know of a couple of specifically queer apps, but I don't think they're a good match for you. Two of them are mostly gay men, and the other...I don't know, it's oriented to lesbians.

im only asking because okcupid has been matching and then getting ghosted after a couple of message. so i have no other idea of what to do when i'm immediately tossed out within seconds. then i have to figure out if there's a living human being who could love a queer/deeply traumatized/severely chronically ill/still living with family me.

so i have no idea where to look. there's seven billion people. i fixate on being single today and being sick tomorrow.

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Post by Glides Sun Feb 02, 2020 9:08 pm

sort of update: i'm going on a date.

not because of dating apps. long story short: a friend came out of the closet to me and began dating a woman, i half-jokingly said i need to be brave like her and get back out there, and upon discovering how long i've been single, she texted me a day later saying that we were going to go on a double date with a friend of hers.

so yeah.

who knows where that'll go.

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Post by Hielario Sun Feb 02, 2020 9:42 pm

Welp. I hope that your friend is better at matchmaking than mine were. Good luck!
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Post by Enail Sun Feb 02, 2020 10:19 pm

Good luck!
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Post by ricardos Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:58 am

Otherwise, you can use many hookup sites like happy matches or tinder.

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Post by Hielario Fri Feb 07, 2020 12:31 pm

A suggestion: Glides, how about you post your current OkCupid profile in the thread we have for that? We might be able to give you some useful insight.
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Post by Glides Tue Feb 11, 2020 2:57 pm

update: i matched with someone on okcupid, we talked for a while, it's not going anywhere cuz i'm not into petplay.

i'm not especially mad, i just thought it was funny to watch this person shut down the second i didn't want to pretend to be a dog. just outright tell me you're not interested. dating is a fucking scourge. humanity should have the hormones that induce attraction chemically removed or something.

i'm not even mad about the individual person doing that, i'm mad that i feel at all.

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Post by Datelessman Wed Feb 12, 2020 1:52 am

I am sorry to hear about that. Although I have to say that the fellow you encountered sure had a...unique fetish. I try not to be judgmental, but I am always boggled by what some men roll off at rapid speed to women, especially in online dating. If my fetish was having lovers bark like a dog, I'd at least do my best to pretend to be normal until about the 2nd or 3rd date at least.

It's okay that you weren't receptive to his "thing." In theory this isn't all on you; he could have handled it better, perhaps been more graceful than he acted. People can get along without having everything in common, after all.

Glides wrote:
i'm not even mad about the individual person doing that, i'm mad that i feel at all.

This line hit me in the stomach. I so absolutely get this. I can't count how many times that I wished I could literally rip "the desire" to be with someone and not be alone from myself and be free of it. I've hated having feelings many times. I don't have a cure for that, but trust me, I get it.
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