Re: Forum interactions (split from virgin shaming)

by **Enail** Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:09 pm

<mod>It sounds like there might be some confusion going on about what's okay when and what's not, so I just wanted to clarify a few things:

-complaining about one's problems, about virginity or other things, in a personal thread or one that is about that kind of problem = OKAY
-telling someone that their problems are not important = NOT OKAY
-complaining about one's problems in a thread on a different subject, especially using a topic focusing on problems of a non-privileged group to talk about the problems of a privileged group = NOT OKAY (this is one that I think can be hard for people to understand and probably where most conflicts come up)

If you feel like someone is dismissing your problems -and especially if they're coming into a personal thread to do it - this is something you can PM a mod about. In a forum as varied as this one, there are a lot of reasons that not everyone will get to feel they can speak totally freely all the time or have their concerns prioritized, but the mods are here to try and make sure that everyone gets to feel welcome and speak as much as possible, so let us know if you're concerned! </mod>

by Mel Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:18 pm

Glides, in addition to enail's note, I wonder if you're thinking of the old forum? Because the rules there were less strict and there were much fewer mods to keep track of things (for quite a while I was the only active mod for the whole place), so things weren't always... ideal.

by Guest Fri Oct 31, 2014 1:15 pm

Mel wrote:Glides, in addition to enail's note, I wonder if you're thinking of the old forum? Because the rules there were less strict and there were much fewer mods to keep track of things (for quite a while I was the only active mod for the whole place), so things weren't always... ideal.

Yeah, I'm sorry for not specifying that earlier. I got a lot of crap there when I first started posting from people.

You remember how it was there, way too many MRA types, the PUAs gave me the worst treatment. A couple "radical feminist" types who completely couldn't stand me for that reason. I got harassed a lot over there. None of those people were there now.

The post was mainly concern that those types could emerge again on the new forum, and you guys aren't infallible, someone could say something awful before you banned them.

So to clarify (which I'm still trying to learn how to word properly), I'm not actually referring to anyone on the new forum, this one has been surprisingly respectful. No complaints.

by **Enail** Fri Oct 31, 2014 1:41 pm

Sorry to hear about harassment on the old forum; I wasn't aware that was going on. If you encounter anything like that here, please do let the mods know.

This goes for everyone here, if there's something going on that's making you uncomfortable, please do talk to mods about it. That's what we're here for.

by **reboot** Fri Oct 31, 2014 1:58 pm

Enail wrote:Sorry to hear about harassment on the old forum; I wasn't aware that was going on. If you encounter anything like that here, please do let the mods know.

This goes for everyone here, if there's something going on that's making you uncomfortable, please do talk to mods about it. That's what we're here for.

Cosigned. Even if it is something as simple as not liking another person or if you feel that your interactions with someone are frustrating, hurtful, etc. without any specific examples we are happy to negotiate the interactions for you.

by UristMcBunny Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:57 pm

reboot wrote:
Enail wrote:Sorry to hear about harassment on the old forum; I wasn't aware that was going on. If you encounter anything like that here, please do let the mods know.

This goes for everyone here, if there's something going on that's making you uncomfortable, please do talk to mods about it. That's what we're here for.

Cosigned. Even if it is something as simple as not liking another person or if you feel that your interactions with someone are frustrating, hurtful, etc. without any specific examples we are happy to negotiate the interactions for you.

Thirded. If you're ever on the receiving end of something, please let us know. I know a lot of stuff got missed on the old forum. Hopefully we're better staffed here, but still please never feel worried that your issue isn't "serious enough" to bring to us. It's what we're here for.

by Guest Fri Oct 31, 2014 4:21 pm

Glides wrote:
It's not just the whole virgin thing, and I'm not referring to people who show up and start saying misogynistic crap and Red Pill sentiments. There was a post in which Mikey worried about accidentally being creepy and several people basically told him to shut the hell up about it. Again, this isn't the majority, and if you're worried that I'm talking about you, I'm probably not. It happens just enough to be an issue.

Uhhh, I honestly don't remember that. Neutral

by Sponsored content